Russell Family Law & Litigation Blog

7 Common Misconceptions About Separation & Divorce in North Carolina

Fri, 24 Apr 2026 17:53:46 GMT

When it comes to separation and divorce in North Carolina, there's a lot of misinformation floating around. Whether it's based on outdated laws, pop culture, or myths passed down like urban legends, these misconceptions can seriously confuse—and even hurt—people trying to make informed decisions about their relationships and futures. Below are seven of the most common misconceptions about separation and divorce in North Carolina, and the reality behind each one.

Misconception 1: You're Not "Actually" Separated Unless You Sign Something

Under North Carolina family law, legal separation begins when spouses start living under separate roofs with the intent for the separation to be permanent. You do not need to sign a separation agreement for the separation period in NC to begin.

What does not count as legal separation in North Carolina:

Sleeping in separate bedrooms
One person living in the FROG (Finished Room Over Garage)
Living in the same house but not interacting

This was clarified in the 1945 North Carolina case Dudley v. Dudley , where the Court stated that separation must be "open and notorious"—meaning it must be visible enough that others can tell the couple is no longer living together as husband and wife.

One brief reconciliation does not reset the one-year separation period, but consistent cohabitation will. If you're wondering whether you even need a formal agreement once you do separate, check out our post: Do I Really Need a Separation Agreement? And if you're ready to move forward with one, How to Draft a Good Separation Agreement: The Nuts and Bolts walks you through the process step by step.

Misconception 2: Both Parties Have to Agree to the Divorce

Despite what movies show—like Sweet Home Alabama , where a spouse refuses to sign the "divorce papers"—this is not how divorce works in North Carolina. Only one spouse is required to file for divorce in NC.

The reality:

You don't need your spouse's permission to get divorced.
The Court will not let one spouse hold the other hostage in a dead marriage.
Only one person has to intend to end the marriage for legal separation in North Carolina to begin.
There are no magic divorce papers that both parties must sign to finalize the divorce.

Misconception 3: I Have to Wait a Year to File for Equitable Distribution or Alimony

You can file for equitable distribution and alimony in North Carolina before your divorce is finalized. In fact, you must file these claims before the divorce judgment is entered—or you risk losing the right to pursue them entirely.

During the separation period in NC, you can:

File for Post-Separation Support (PSS)
Seek interim distributions of marital property
Enter into mediation or negotiation
File for a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO) if needed

This is a critical point that many people miss—and missing it can be costly. We cover exactly why in our post Why You Shouldn't Divorce Before Property is Settled . Speaking with a qualified North Carolina divorce attorney early in the process is essential. Waiting too long can cost you rights you didn't even know you had.

Misconception 4: I'll Get Everything Because My Spouse Cheated

Infidelity doesn't guarantee a financial win in your North Carolina divorce case. Here's the reality:

Adultery does not affect equitable distribution of assets.
It can impact alimony, particularly if the cheating spouse is seeking support.
In cases of excessive spending on an affair partner, you may have a claim for marital waste.

Yes, cheating can matter—but it's not an automatic advantage in NC divorce proceedings. For a deeper look at how the courts actually weigh this, read Do North Carolina Courts Consider Marital Misconduct?

Misconception 5: Everything Is in My Spouse's Name, So I Get Nothing

North Carolina is an equitable distribution state, meaning how property is titled doesn't determine who gets it. What matters in North Carolina property division is:

When the asset was acquired (during or before the marriage)
Whether it qualifies as marital property
The date of separation (DOS)
Any exceptions like premarital agreements or separate property transfers

Even if your spouse's name is on the bank account or deed, you could still be entitled to your fair share. For a comprehensive breakdown of how this works, see The In's and Out's of Property Division in North Carolina . A divorce lawyer can help uncover all marital assets through the formal discovery process—learn more about how that works in What Is Discovery and How Can I Use It?

Misconception 6: Divorce Means Going to Court

Not all North Carolina divorce cases end up in court. Spouses can create a separation agreement in NC —a private, legally binding contract that can address child custody and support, alimony, and property and debt division.

Benefits of separation agreements in NC:

Faster and less expensive than litigation
More privacy and control over the outcome
Ideal for cooperative spouses or those wanting to avoid courtroom drama

This approach is often the preferred path when both parties are willing to work together. For more on how to make this work in your favor, read Avoid Court While Going Through a Divorce .

Misconception 7: The Courts Favor Mothers in Custody Cases

North Carolina child custody laws are gender-neutral. The courts follow the "best interests of the child" standard, which focuses on:

Stability in each home
Each parent's involvement in the child's life
Who managed the child's day-to-day care during the marriage

There is no legal presumption that mothers get custody in NC. Fathers can and do win primary custody when they demonstrate they're the better caregiver based on the child's needs. For the full picture on how custody decisions are made, start with What Should Parents Know about Child Custody in North Carolina? We also have dedicated guides for both Fathers' Rights in Custody Cases and Mothers' Rights in Custody Cases .

Final Thoughts

Navigating separation and divorce in North Carolina doesn't have to be confusing or overwhelming. When you're armed with the facts and supported by a trusted North Carolina divorce lawyer, you can make informed decisions that protect your future.

If you want to learn more about common misconceptions in North Carolina Family Law, check out the episode on our podcast: Eat, Drink, and Remarry .

Need help with a divorce or separation in North Carolina? Our experienced family law attorneys are here to guide you every step of the way. Contact us today for a consultation.

Blended Families: Legal Tips When Remarrying or Partnering

Wed, 25 Feb 2026 05:00:13 GMT

Blended families are increasingly common, but combining households after divorce or separation brings unique legal considerations. When you are remarrying, taking proactive legal steps can help protect your children, your finances, and your peace of mind. Understanding how remarriage affects existing legal obligations is essential to avoiding unintended consequences.

How Remarriage Can Affect Custody

Remarriage alone does not automatically change custody arrangements. However, changes in household dynamics may raise issues such as:

Adjustments to parenting schedules
Introduction of stepparents or stepsiblings
Changes in the child’s daily routine
Concerns about stability or safety

Courts focus on the best interests of the child, not the preferences of the parents. If a new relationship significantly affects the child, modification of custody may be requested but only if there is a substantial change in circumstances.

Child Support and New Relationships

A new spouse’s income generally does not count toward child support calculations. However, remarriage can still have indirect effects, such as:

Reduced household expenses for the paying parent
Changes in a parent’s ability to meet financial obligations
Issues arising when a parent stops working or changes employment

It is important not to assume that remarriage eliminates or reduces child support obligations without a court order.

Alimony Considerations

Remarriage has a direct impact on alimony. Alimony terminates automatically upon remarriage of the receiving spouse; however, it’s important to note that remarriage is not required to terminate alimony. In North Carolina, cohabitation can also justify termination.

Prenuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements can provide clarity and prevent future disputes by addressing:

Ownership of premarital assets
Division of property upon divorce
Treatment of inheritances and gifts
Financial responsibilities during the relationship

For blended families, these agreements can help preserve assets for children while still providing for a new partner.

Blended families can thrive with thoughtful planning and informed legal guidance. Taking proactive steps before remarrying can reduce conflict, protect children’s interests, and provide stability for everyone involved.

If you are considering remarriage or cohabitation and have existing custody, support, or property obligations, consulting with a family law attorney can help you understand how your choices may affect your rights and responsibilities. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney.

Shared Custody Schedules That Actually Work

Thu, 12 Feb 2026 05:00:30 GMT

When parents share custody, the schedule matters just as much as the legal description. Even well-intentioned parents can struggle when a custody arrangement looks fair on paper but proves unworkable in real life. The most successful shared custody schedules are those that prioritize the child’s stability, accommodate the parents’ realities, and minimize conflict.

Below are some of the most effective shared custody schedules and the factors parents should consider when deciding what truly works.

Before discussing specific schedules, it’s important to understand the guiding principle: the best interests of the child. In determining the best interests of the child, courts consider factors such as:

The child’s age and developmental needs
Each parent’s work schedule and availability
The distance between parents’ homes (and the distance between those homes and the child’s school)
The child’s school and extracurricular activities
Each parent’s ability to communicate and co-parent
The historical caregiving roles of each parent

A schedule that works well for one family may be inappropriate for another.

Some Pros & Cons of the Most Common Shared Custody Schedules

1. The Week-On / Week-Off Schedule

This schedule gives each parent a full week with the child, alternating weekly. It reduces transitions and allows each parent to manage school and activities independently during their parenting time.

Pros:

Fewer exchanges
Predictable routine

Cons:

Long stretches away from one parent may be difficult for younger children

2. The 2-2-5-5 Schedule

Under this arrangement, the child spends two days with Parent A, two days with Parent B, and then alternates five-day blocks.

Pros:

Regular contact with both parents
Predictable school-week routine

Cons:

More transitions
Requires strong communication

3. The 3-4-4-3 Schedule

The child alternates three days with one parent, four with the other, and then switches the following week.

Pros:

Balanced time
No parent goes too long without seeing the child

Cons:

Can be confusing without a clear calendar
Frequent exchanges

Why Some Schedules Fail
Even a well-designed schedule can break down if it does not account for real-world factors. Common reasons shared custody arrangements fail include:

Unrealistic work schedules
Excessive transitions for young children
Poor communication between parents
Long travel times between homes
Using the schedule to “keep score” rather than meet the child’s needs

Tips for Creating a Schedule That Works

Focus on the child’s routine
Be realistic about work hours and availability
Plan for school breaks, holidays, and summers in advance
Use shared calendars or parenting apps to reduce conflict
Build in flexibility, especially as children grow older

There is no single “perfect” shared custody schedule. The best arrangements are child-centered, realistic, and designed to reduce conflict rather than create it. Working with an experienced family law attorney can help ensure your custody schedule is not only legally sound, but practical for daily life. If you have questions about shared custody or need help creating or modifying a parenting plan, contact our office to set up a consultation with a family law attorney to discuss options tailored to your family’s needs.

What Happens to Business Interests During Divorce?

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 20:11:25 GMT

When one or both spouses own a business, divorce often involves additional legal and financial challenges. Whether the business is a closely held company, professional practice, family enterprise, or side venture, it often represents years of effort and can quickly become one of the most contested issues in a divorce. Understanding how business interests are treated during divorce can help business owners protect their interests and avoid costly mistakes.

Is a Business Considered Marital Property?

The first question in any divorce involving a business is whether the business (or a portion of it) is marital property, separate property, or a combination of both.

Generally:

Businesses started during the marriage are typically considered marital property.
Businesses owned before marriage may be separate property, but any increase in value during the marriage may be partially marital.
Commingling marital funds or relying on a spouse’s labor can also create marital interest in a spouse’s business.

What’s important to remember is that even when only one spouse’s name appears on business documents, the other spouse may still have a marital interest. As such, consulting a family lawyer concerning these issues is especially important when business interests are involved in a divorce.

How Courts Value a Business

Once a business interest is determined to be marital or partially marital, it must be valued. Business valuation is often an expensive and contentious process. Courts frequently rely on forensic accountants or business valuation experts to determine fair market value. To this end, the parties may decide to proceed with a joint expert to save costs, or identify competing experts if they are unable to agree as to which expert to select.

Division Does Not Always Mean Splitting the Business

Dividing a business does not necessarily mean both spouses will become co-owners. In fact, courts often avoid creating ongoing financial entanglements.

Common outcomes include:

One spouse keeps the business and buys out the other’s interest
The business is offset with other marital assets
Structured payments are used when liquidity is limited
In more rare cases, the business may be sold

Can a Prenuptial or Postnuptial Agreement Help?

Yes. Valid prenuptial or postnuptial agreements can:

Define whether a business is separate property
Establish valuation methods in advance
Limit disputes and litigation costs

However, these agreements must meet legal requirements to be enforceable, so consultation with an experienced family lawyer is critical.

Business interests can significantly complicate divorce, but careful planning and experienced legal guidance can make the process more manageable.

If you are facing a divorce involving a business interest, consulting with an experienced family law attorney early can help you evaluate options, preserve value, and avoid unnecessary conflict. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation.

Coping with the Emotional Side of Family Law Cases

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 16:17:18 GMT

Family law cases are among the most emotionally challenging legal experiences a person can face. Beyond the paperwork and court dates, there’s a deep emotional toll that comes with major life changes involving your family, children, and future.

At Russell Family Law & Litigation, we understand that family law isn’t just about legal outcomes – it’s about people, healing, and moving forward. Here are some strategies to help you cope with the emotional side of your case while protecting your mental and emotional well-being.

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed, angry, anxious, or even numb during a family law case. Whether you’re ending a marriage or navigating a custody issue, you’re dealing with loss, change, and uncertainty. Give yourself permission to feel whatever comes up. Suppressing emotions can make the process even harder.

2. Focus on What You Can Control

So much of the legal process can feel, and in reality is, outside your control - the court’s schedule, your ex-partner’s actions, or the pace of negotiations. Instead of fixating on what you can’t change, try to focus on what you can , including:

How you respond to stress
How you communicate with your attorney and their team
How you care for your physical and mental health

Keeping your attention on small, manageable steps can help reduce some of the inevitable anxiety.

3. Build a Strong Support System

Don’t try to go through this alone. Surround yourself with people who can offer emotional support.

Speaking with a licensed counselor or therapist can be especially helpful. They can provide tools for managing anger, grief, or anxiety in a healthy way and give you a safe space to process what’s happening with a neutral third party.

4. Take Care of Your Physical Health

Emotional stress often takes a physical toll. Eating well, getting enough rest, and staying active can make a significant difference in how you handle the challenges ahead. Even simple habits like walking daily or journaling before bed can help reduce stress and improve your emotional balance.

5. Keep Perspective on the Future

It’s easy to feel like your current situation will never end, but family law cases are temporary chapters in your life. Eventually, the legal process concludes, and you’ll have a new foundation to rebuild from. Try to focus on your long-term goals and remember that each small step forward is progress.

6. Lean on Your Attorney for Guidance

A compassionate, experienced family law attorney doesn’t just handle the legal side – they can also help you navigate the process with clarity and confidence. At Russell Family Law & Litigation, we take the time to listen, explain your options, and ensure you never feel alone in this process. Knowing that your case is in capable hands can ease much of the stress and uncertainty you may be feeling.

If you’re struggling with a divorce, custody matter, or other family law issue, our team at Russell Family Law & Litigation is here to provide both the legal skill and empathetic support you need.
Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation and take the next step toward peace of mind.

Long-Distance Parenting: Making Custody Work Across States

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 18:11:07 GMT

When parents live in different states, co-parenting can feel like an uphill battle. Coordinating schedules, maintaining strong relationships with children, and following custody orders across state lines all require careful planning and often, legal guidance.

At Russell Family Law & Litigation, we understand how challenging long-distance parenting can be. Whether your move is due to a job, remarriage, or personal reasons, maintaining a healthy, consistent relationship with your child is absolutely possible. Here’s how to make interstate custody arrangements work smoothly for everyone involved.

1. Understand the Legal Framework

Custody issues across states are governed by the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (UCCJEA). This statute helps determine which state’s court has the authority (or “jurisdiction”) to make and enforce custody decisions. Typically, the child’s “home state”, where they’ve lived for the last six months, has primary jurisdiction, but there are exceptions to that generality. Because interstate custody issues can become complex, it’s best to work with an experienced family law attorney to avoid enforcement problems.

2. Create a Detailed Parenting Plan

A successful long-distance custody arrangement starts with a clear, comprehensive parenting plan. This plan should account for:

Visitation schedules (including holidays, school breaks, and summer vacations)
Transportation arrangements and who covers travel costs
Virtual visitation and communication expectations
Emergency procedures and how major decisions will be made

The more detailed your plan, the less room there is for confusion or disputes later.

3. Use Technology to Stay Connected

Even miles apart, technology makes it easier than ever to stay involved in your child’s daily life. Regular video calls, text messages, or shared photo albums can help maintain emotional closeness.

Consider setting up:

Weekly video chats using Zoom, FaceTime, or Google Meet
Shared calendars for tracking school events or custody transitions
Parenting apps (like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents ) to manage communication and schedules

Consistency is key – even small, regular interactions help children feel loved and supported.

4. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity

When time together is limited, make it meaningful. Focus on creating positive, low-stress experiences during visits rather than packing the schedule full. Children benefit most from parents who are emotionally present and attentive. Simple moments like reading together, playing games, or cooking a favorite meal can have a lasting impact and strengthen your bond, even across distance.

5. Be Flexible and Cooperative

Life changes. Flights get delayed, school schedules shift, and unexpected events happen. Successful long-distance parenting requires flexibility and mutual respect. Cooperate with your co-parent as much as possible and keep the focus on what’s best for your child, not on “winning” or “losing” time. Flexibility and cooperation can set a positive example for your child and maintain a low-stress environment for them.

6. Keep Communication Child-Focused

When communicating with your co-parent, keep discussions focused on your child’s needs, not personal grievances. Avoid using your child as a messenger or sounding board for adult issues. Calm, respectful, and focused communication helps reduce conflict and ensures smoother coordination across states.

Interstate parenting arrangements involve unique legal challenges, including enforcement and modification of out-of-state custody orders. An experienced family law attorney can help you:

Determine which state has jurisdiction under the UCCJEA
Draft or modify a long-distance parenting plan
Address relocation issues legally and efficiently

Having the right legal support ensures your parental rights are protected and your child’s best interests remain the top priority.

At Russell Family Law & Litigation, our family law attorneys have extensive experience helping parents navigate interstate custody arrangements and build parenting plans that work for real families. Contact us today to schedule a confidential consultation and learn how we can help you create a long-distance parenting plan that protects your relationship and your child’s well-being.

Can I Modify My Custody Order in North Carolina?

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 19:33:17 GMT

Child custody decisions are among the most emotionally charged and impactful rulings in family law. But life changes and sometimes the custody arrangement that once worked well may no longer serve the best interests of your child. In North Carolina, the law allows for custody modifications, but only under certain conditions.

Under North Carolina General Statutes § 50-13.7, a court may modify an existing custody order, but only if there has been a substantial change in circumstances since entry of the existing order that affects the welfare of the child. This means the court will not modify custody on the basis of minor inconveniences, parental disagreements, or even one parties dislike of the order that is in place. There must be a significant change that impacts the child’s well-being.

Common examples of substantial changes include:

A parent’s relocation, particularly if relocating out of state or a significant distance away
Changes in the child’s health, emotional stability, or educational needs
A parent’s new work schedule that affects their ability to care for the child
Recent instances of domestic violence, substance abuse, or neglect

Even if you can show a substantial change in circumstances, the court’s focus will be on the best interests of the child, which is the legal standard in North Carolina child custody matters. The judge will examine how the change in circumstances has impacted the child and how any proposed modification would serve the child’s interests.

Can Parents Agree to a Modification?

Yes. If both parents agree on the changes, they can submit a consent order to the court for approval. The judge will still review the proposed arrangement to ensure it serves the child’s best interests, but the process is much smoother when both parties are in agreement.

Contact Us

Custody modification cases can be complex, contentious, and emotionally draining. Whether you’re seeking to modify a current arrangement or defend against a proposed change, having knowledgeable legal counsel is critical. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney and discuss your options for custody modification.

Should I Post That? How Social Media Can Affect Your Family Law Case in North Carolina

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 12:39:58 GMT

In recent years, social media has increasingly become a part of our daily lives. Whether you are posting pictures of your kids, sharing a new recipe, posting about a new achievement, or venting about a bad day – it is common to sharing aspects of your life online that 50 years ago would not have been as readily available to the public. While social media has been valuable in fostering relationships and maintaining connections with others, no matter the distance, if you're involved in a family law matter, what you post online can have a serious impact on your case.

Social Media Is Evidence – And It Can Be Used Against You

What you post on platforms like Facebook, Instagram, X, or TikTok can become admissible evidence in court. Status updates, photos, messages, and check-ins can be:

Screenshotted and saved by the other party
Subpoenaed directly from the platform
Used to challenge your credibility or claims

As such, it is incredibly important to think before you post . Below are some common types of posts that may impact a family law case:

Vacation or luxury spending posts
Pictures involving alcohol or partying
Rants or insults about your ex or the judge
Posts involving new romantic partners
Check-ins or locations

Even memes, comments, or posts you “like” can be taken out of context and may be presented as evidence.

In custody disputes, the court’s top priority is the best interests of the child. If your social media posts suggest instability, irresponsibility, or poor judgment, it can sway the court’s decision.

Common examples of such posts include those that depict:

Excessive drinking
Drug use
Inappropriate behavior around children
Disparaging comments about the other parent

At Russell Family Law & Litigation, we understand how digital evidence can help or hurt your case and how to develop a strong legal strategy from start to finish. If you’re going through a divorce or custody dispute, don’t go it alone – let us help you protect what matters most. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our attorneys.

What is a Postnuptial Agreement?

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 21:01:26 GMT

What is a Postnuptial Agreement?

In North Carolina, postnuptial agreements, or postmarital agreements, are valuable tools for married couples seeking to clarify financial expectations, protect individual assets, and reduce potential conflicts. Whether you’re newly married or navigating significant life changes, a postnuptial agreement can provide peace of mind and financial clarity.

A postnuptial agreement is a legally binding contract entered into by spouses after marriage. It outlines how assets, debts, and other financial matters will be handled in the event of separation, divorce, or death. Unlike prenuptial agreements, which are signed before marriage, postnuptial agreements are executed during the marriage.

There are two broad categories of postnuptial agreements:

Those made during the marriage and not in contemplation of separation.

Those made in contemplation of imminent separation or during separation.

Depending on which category of postnuptial agreement the parties are entering, there are different things they are allowed to contract regarding. Most notably if the parties are not separated or contemplating imminent separation, they cannot include provisions regarding spousal support.

For a postnuptial agreement to be valid in North Carolina, it must meet specific criteria:

Written and Signed: The agreement must be in writing and signed by both spouses.
Notarization: It must be executed before a certifying officer, such as a notary.
Voluntary Consent: Both parties must enter into the agreement voluntarily, without coercion or undue influence.
Fair and Reasonable Terms: The agreement must not be grossly unfair or unconscionable to either party.
Not Against Public Policy: Postnuptial agreements cannot include provisions that violate public policy, such as agreements that encourage a party to leave the marriage.

By addressing these issues proactively, couples can prevent misunderstandings and potential disputes in the future.

An experienced family law attorney can help ensure that the agreement complies with North Carolina laws and accurately reflects the parties’ intentions. This step can also help prevent future challenges to the agreement’s validity. If you’re considering a postnuptial agreement, contact our office to schedule a consultation with an attorney to explore your options and ensure that your agreement meets all legal requirements.

What Is Discovery and How Can I Use It?

Fri, 30 May 2025 19:51:20 GMT

By: Ashley Pollard

Oftentimes when parties separate one party will have access to documents and accounts to which the other party is not privy. When this happens, attorneys will begin discussing “discovery.” Discovery is the process by which the parties can formally exchange information and documents that may be needed in their case. This process is important because it allows the parties to gather the information needed to make the best decisions for them in their case.

In order to utilize discovery, a lawsuit must first be filed. This is an important consideration as discovery cannot be utilized if there is not an active case, such as instances where the parties are negotiating a settlement agreement prior to making any court filings.

Once a lawsuit has been filed, one of the first steps the attorneys will take will likely be serving discovery. North Carolina allows parties to obtain discovery by one or more of the following methods:

Depositions : Depositions allow the parties to obtain the sworn testimony of a witness outside of court. It can sometimes lead to additional discovery or provide the parties with additional information that may facilitate settlement.
Interrogatories : Interrogatories are questions asked by one party to the other that the receiving party must answer, unless there is a valid objection for doing so. The parties are required to answer within 30 days, unless there is an extension of time granted by either the requesting party or the court.
Requests for Production of Documents or Things : A frequent issue that arises in family law matters is that one party will have managed the parties’ finances during the marriage and therefore has the access to the bank accounts, retirement accounts, mortgage accounts, etc., that the other party does not have. Requests for production of documents and things allows one party to request copies of the documents they need from the other. Like interrogatories, requests for production must be answered within 30 days, unless there is an extension of time granted.
Requests for Permission to Enter upon Land or Other Property : Requests for entry upon land or other property often arise where the party who has left the marital home is unsure as to the extent and value of the personal property located on the premises. In such circumstances, that party will send the other a request for entry and will either come themselves or have an agent (such as an appraiser or a private investigator) come to the property to inventory and take pictures of the personal property.
Physical and Mental Examinations : The court has the power to order a party to undergo a physical and/or mental examination. These examinations often arise in child custody matters where there is concern as to one parent’s mental stability or physical ability to care for the child. They also arise in cases where there is suspected abuse.
Requests for Admission : Requests for admission are similar to interrogatories in that they are a list of written questions that one party sends to the other asking that party to admit or deny certain statements. Like interrogatories and requests for production, requests for admission must be answered within 30 days, unless there is an extension of time granted. Unlike interrogatories, if a party does not answer requests for admission, the statement is deemed admitted.

Discovery is an important part of litigation and will often be the first step in a case once the complaint or answer is filed. It can often be an overwhelming process to undergo alone. At Russell Family Law & Litigation, our attorneys and team are experienced in the discovery process and can help guide you through it. Contact our office today to schedule a consultation.

How are 529 Plans Handled in Divorce?

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 22:06:06 GMT

A 529 Plan, which owes its name to Section 529 of the Internal Revenue Code, is a tax-advantaged savings account that is designed to be used for the education expenses of the beneficiary. It is very common that parents create such an account to save for their child’s college education. So, what happens to such an account when the parents decide to divorce?

529 Plans , like other savings and investment accounts, are property. As such, in North Carolina, 529 Plans are dealt with during equitable distribution proceedings. During such a proceeding, the court will classify the parties’ property as one of three categories – marital, divisible, and separate – and then distribute the marital and divisible property among the parties. Thus, the treatment of the 529 Plan will depend upon how the plan is classified.

N.C. Gen. Stat. 50-20 defines marital, separate, and divisible property as follows:

Marital Property : “all real and personal property acquired by either spouse or both spouses during the course of the marriage and before the date of the separation of the parties, and presently owned, except property determined to be separate property or divisible property.”

Separate Property : “all real and personal property acquired by a spouse before marriage or acquired by a spouse by devise, descent, or gift during the course of the marriage. However, property acquired by gift from the other spouse during the course of the marriage shall be considered separate property only if such an intention is stated in the conveyance. Property acquired in exchange for separate property shall remain separate property regardless of whether the title is in the name of the husband or wife or both and shall not be considered to be marital property unless a contrary intention is expressly stated in the conveyance. The increase in value of separate property and the income derived from separate property shall be considered separate property . All professional licenses and business licenses which would terminate on transfer shall be considered separate property.”

Divisible Property : “all real and personal property as set forth below:

All appreciation and diminution in value of marital property and divisible property of the parties occurring after the date of separation and prior to the date of distribution, except that appreciation or diminution in value which is the result of postseparation actions or activities of a spouse shall not be treated as divisible property.
All property, property rights, or any portion thereof received after the date of separation but before the date of distribution that was acquired as a result of the efforts of either spouse during the marriage and before the date of separation, including, but not limited to, commissions, bonuses, and contractual rights.
Passive income from marital property received after the date of separation, including, but not limited to, interest and dividends.
Passive increases and passive decreases in marital debt and financing charges and interest related to marital debt.”

Given these definitions, the classification and distribution of a 529 Plan will depend upon how and when it is created and funded. What is most important to note is that the court will not award the 529 Plan to the child, as the child is not a party to their parents’ divorce. Further, while the court may consider the purpose of the 529 Plan when making an “equitable” distribution of the parties’ property, the court will not totally disregard the value of the 529 Plan when distributing property among the parties simply because it is intended for the benefit of their child. However, the parties may take such considerations into account when negotiating a potential settlement between one another.

If you are considering divorce or engaged in, or anticipate being engaged in, an equitable distribution proceeding, call our office today to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney.

Do North Carolina Courts Consider Marital Misconduct?

Wed, 26 Feb 2025 13:47:04 GMT

North Carolina is considered to be a “no-fault” divorce state, meaning that a couple need not show cause or some wrongdoing in order to obtain a divorce. However, marital misconduct does play a role with regard to the issue of alimony in North Carolina.

In determining the amount, duration, and manner of payment of alimony, the Court must consider a variety of factors as laid out in N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.3A(b). This statute lists 16 factors which the court will consider when determining the issue of alimony . One of the most often discussed and litigated of these factors is marital misconduct.

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.1A defines marital misconduct as follows:

‘Marital misconduct’ means any of the following acts that occur during the marriage and prior to or on the date of separation:

Illicit sexual behavior. For the purpose of this section, illicit sexual behavior means acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.20(4), voluntarily engaged in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse;
Involuntary separation of the spouses in consequence of a criminal act committed prior to the proceeding in which alimony is sought;
Abandonment of the other spouse;
Malicious turning out-of-doors of the other spouse;
Cruel or barbarous treatment endangering the life of the other spouse;
Indignities rendering the condition of the other spouse intolerable and life burdensome;
Reckless spending of the income of either party, or the destruction, waste, diversion, or concealment of assets;
Excessive use of alcohol or drugs so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and life burdensome;
Willful failure to provide necessary subsistence according to one's means and condition so as to render the condition of the other spouse intolerable and life burdensome.

In an alimony proceeding, the parties may present the court with evidence of any one or several of these acts in order to secure a more favorable award of alimony for their case.

Arguably the most significant act of marital misconduct listed above is “illicit sexual behavior.” This is due in part to the impact such behavior has on the entitlement to alimony in North Carolina. Pursuant to N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.3A(a), if the Court finds that the dependent spouse (i.e., the spouse who would be receiving alimony) engaged in illicit sexual behavior, then the Court “shall not” award alimony. This effectively means that a dependent spouse’s affair can act as an absolute bar to alimony notwithstanding the financial situation of the parties. However, this serious treatment of illicit sexual behavior goes both ways.

Should the Court find that the supporting spouse (i.e., the spouse who would be paying alimony) engaged in illicit sexual behavior, then the Court “shall order that alimony be paid to [the] dependent spouse.” If both spouses engaged in illicit sexual behavior, then entitlement to alimony will be in the discretion of the court. If either party condoned an act of illicit sexual behavior by the other party, then the court will not consider said behavior.

With regard to the remaining acts of marital misconduct listed above, the weight a judge may give to such conduct when determining alimony will depend both on the egregiousness of the conduct and the significance of the other 15 factors listed in N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-16.3A(b).

If you believe that you or your spouse may have engaged in an act of marital misconduct that could impact your alimony case , contact our office today to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney.

Navigating Holiday Stress During Divorce: Tips for Families

Thu, 05 Dec 2024 19:36:20 GMT

The holiday season is a time traditionally associated with joy, togetherness, and celebration. However, for families going through a divorce, it can also be a time of heightened stress and emotional challenges. Managing these stressors effectively can help everyone involved – especially children – navigate this season with as much peace and stability as possible.

Here are some common holiday stressors families experience during a divorce and practical strategies to address them:

1. Financial Pressures

Divorce often brings financial changes that can make the holidays feel especially strained. Gift-giving, travel, and hosting events can add up quickly.

Solution:

Set a Budget: Be realistic about what you can afford this year. Focus on creating meaningful experiences rather than overextending financially. Free/low-cost experiences could include going to a holiday parade, going for a walk downtown or a drive around town to view the holiday lights, or taking the kids to the local mall or a store to visit Santa (or even the Grinch at some locations, such as the Cotton Exchange).
Communicate with Co-Parent: Discuss gift budgets and avoid competitive or extravagant gift-giving, as this can create tension or unrealistic expectations for the children.

2. Emotional Strain on Children

Holidays can amplify a child’s sense of loss or confusion about their family dynamics, especially if traditions are changing.

Solution:

Prioritize Consistency: Whenever possible, maintain familiar traditions to provide a sense of stability. Introduce new traditions as a way to create positive memories in this new chapter.
Open Communication: Reassure your children that it’s okay to express their feelings and let them know both parents are committed to making the holidays special for them.

3. Loneliness or Isolation

For people going through a divorce, the first holiday following separation can feel especially lonely and isolating. It’s normal to grieve the loss of how things used to be.

Solution:

Lean on Support Systems: Spend time with friends, family, or community groups that provide comfort and connection.
Focus on Self-Care: Use this time to rest, reflect, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

4. Co-Parenting Tensions

The holidays can sometimes exacerbate underlying tensions between co-parents, particularly if communication is strained or agreements are unclear.

Solution:

Keep Communication Businesslike: Focus on logistics rather than rehashing old conflicts. Tools like co-parenting apps, such as Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents, can help keep interactions clear and professional.
Put the Children First: Decisions should always prioritize what’s best for the children, even if it requires compromise.

5. Managing Extended Family Expectations

Extended family members may have their own opinions or pressures about how holidays “should” look, which can complicate matters further and exacerbate holiday stress.

Solution:

Set Boundaries: Be clear with family members about your plans and priorities. Gently but firmly remind them that the focus is on creating a positive experience for your immediate family and avoiding negative talk about the other party or your current situation.
Include Supportive Relatives: If possible, involve family members who can help diffuse stress and provide stability during this transitional time.

If you are going through a divorce this holiday season and need legal representation, please contact our office to set a consultation with one of our family law attorneys.

What Should Parents Know about Child Custody in North Carolina?

Thu, 03 Oct 2024 23:24:48 GMT

Navigating child custody arrangements can be one of the most challenging aspects of a separation or divorce. In North Carolina, the legal framework for child custody is designed to prioritize the best interests of the child, but understanding the different types of custody arrangements can be complex. This guide aims to shed light on the types of child custody in North Carolina, helping parents make informed decisions.

By approaching custody decisions with a focus on cooperation and the child’s needs, parents can create a positive environment that fosters healthy relationships and supports the child’s development through the challenges of family change. Let’s dive in.

Types of Child Custody in North Carolina

In North Carolina, child custody is divided into two primary categories: legal custody and physical custody. Each category can be further divided into different types of arrangements. Here’s a closer look:

Physical Custody

Physical custody determines where the child resides and how much time they will spend with each parent. Physical custody can be categorized as:

Sole Physical Custody: The child primarily resides with one parent, and the other parent may have limited or supervised visitation, or none at all, depending on the court’s decision. In this arrangement, the non-custodial parent has minimal involvement in the child’s day-to-day life.
Primary and Secondary Physical Custody: The child resides mainly with one parent (the primary custodial parent) who handles their daily care. However, the other parent (with secondary physical custody) has regular, scheduled visitation rights, which allows for more frequent and structured involvement in the child’s life, such as weekend or holiday visitations.
Joint Physical Custody: The child’s time is divided more evenly between both parents, which can range from one parent having primary custody with the other parent having scheduled visitations to an equal split between both parents.

Legal Custody

Legal custody refers to the right and responsibility of a parent or both parents, to make important decisions about a child’s life, including those related to education, healthcare, religious upbringing, and general welfare.

Sole Legal Custody: If one parent has sole legal custody, they have the ultimate decision-making authority regarding significant aspects of the child’s life, such as education, healthcare, and religious upbringing, without requiring input from the other parent.
Joint Legal Custody : Joint legal custody requires both parents to collaborate on major decisions regarding their child’s life, such as schooling or medical care. This arrangement is preferred because it keeps both parents involved in key aspects of the child’s upbringing. For example, if one parent cannot be reached during an emergency or an important situation, the parent who is currently caring for the child must have the ability to make decisions quickly to ensure the child’s safety, health and well-being without waiting for the other parent’s input. This ensures the child’s needs are met without unnecessary delays.

Sole Legal and Physical Custody:

Sole legal and physical custody is generally only granted when there is a substantial showing that joint custody would not serve the child’s best interests. This might occur when one parent is unfit due to factors like abuse, neglect, substance abuse, or other circumstances that could jeopardize the child’s well-being.

Visitation Rights

In cases where one parent does not have physical custody, the court may grant visitation rights to ensure that the non-custodial parent maintains a relationship with the child. Visitation can be:

Scheduled Visitation: A predetermined schedule that outlines when the child will spend time with the non-custodial parent. This can include weekends, holidays, and school vacations.

Supervised Visitation : Visitation that takes place under the supervision of a third party. This is often required in situations where there are concerns about the child’s safety or well-being during visitation.

Temporary Custody

During divorce or separation proceedings, temporary custody arrangements may be put in place until a final custody order is determined. These temporary arrangements are designed to provide stability for the child while the court considers the permanent custody arrangement.

How Custody Decisions Are Made

In North Carolina, custody decisions are guided by the principle of the child’s best interests. The court considers various factors, including:

The child’s age and developmental needs
Each parent’s ability to provide a stable and loving environment
The child’s relationship with each parent
The safety of the child
Any history of domestic violence or substance abuse

Additionally, the court may consider the child’s wishes when determining custody, but there is no set age where their preference automatically dictates the outcome. The court will evaluate the child’s maturity and the circumstances on a case-by-case basis.

Mediation Requirement:

In New Hanover, Brunswick, and Pender Counties, mediation is required for initial or modified custody cases before going to trial (unless domestic violence is involved). This mediation is for parents to work through custody issues without attorneys. At Russell Family Law & Litigation, we guide you through this process, ensuring you understand each step and are well-prepared to reach the best outcome for your family.

Conclusion

The court will always prioritize the child’s best interests when making decisions regarding both legal and physical custody. Understanding the types of child custody in North Carolina can help parents navigate the complexities of family law and make informed decisions that prioritize their child’s well-being. Whether you are seeking primary custody, joint custody, or visitation rights, it’s essential to consider the unique needs of your child and work towards a solution that supports their best interests. Russell Family Law & Litigation can provide additional guidance tailored to your specific situation.

When navigating the complexities of family law, especially during a divorce, it’s vital to understand the nuances of talking to children about divorce . Our guide on what parents should know about child custody in North Carolina offers essential information that can help you approach this sensitive topic.

Grandparent Visitation in North Carolina

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 16:39:08 GMT

By: Ashley Pollard

Grandparents can play a significant role in helping to raise their grandchildren. From babysitting to holiday visits to family vacations, the relationship between a grandparent and their grandchild can form into a special bond; however, what happens when a grandparent’s relationship with their grandchild is severed due to an ongoing custody dispute between their grandchild’s parents?

Do Grandparents have rights to visitation with their grandchildren in North Carolina?

In short, yes, North Carolina does recognize visitation rights for grandparents in certain limited circumstances.

How Can I Get Visitation with My Grandchild?

There are three statutes that are specific to grandparents and address when grandparents have standing to seek visitation with their grandchildren:

1. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.2(b1): A child’s biological grandparents can seek to intervene in an ongoing custody matter. This will require there to be an ongoing, active custody matter in existence between the child’s parents. If there is such a matter pending, then the grandparents can ask the court to allow them to intervene in the matter and request visitation with their grandchild. There will be a rebuttable presumption that the child’s parents’ determination regarding the grandparent’s visitation is correct; however, if the grandparents rebut this presumption, then the court may award visitation to the grandparents so long as the visitation does not interfere with the parent/child relationship. Such visitation, if allowed, will be at the court’s discretion and as it deems appropriate.

2. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.2A: A child’s biological grandparents can seek visitation with their grandchild who has been adopted by a stepparent or relative of the child where the grandparents show that they have a substantial relationship with the child. When such as showing is made, the court may grant the grandparents visitation with the child if it finds that such visitation is in the best interest of the child.

3. N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.5(j): A child’s biological grandparents may file a motion in an existing custody case requesting visitation based upon a substantial change of circumstances since the entry of the prior custody order. However, the North Carolina Court of Appeals has held that this statute only allows grandparents to seek visitation if there is an ongoing custody dispute between the child’s parents at the time of their request. Similar to visitation under N.C. Gen. Stat. § 50-13.2(b1), there will be a rebuttable presumption that the determination of the child’s parents regarding visitation with the grandparents is correct. If the grandparents rebut this presumption, then the court may award visitation to the grandparents so long as the visitation does not interfere with the parent/child relationship.

To Learn More, Contact Us Today!

If your ability to see your grandchild has been negatively impacted by your child or their spouse due to an ongoing custody battle, an experienced family lawyer may be able to help guide you to better understanding and protecting your rights as they relate to your grandchild’s best interests and welfare.

Co-parenting

Fri, 19 Jul 2024 13:23:52 GMT

Co-parenting is crucial to ensure that children continue to receive the love, support, and guidance they need from both parents despite the parents’ separation or divorce. By working together, parents can create a stable and nurturing environment that fosters the emotional and psychological well-being of their children. Effective co-parenting helps children adjust to change, reduces feelings of insecurity, and promotes healthy development. It also models positive conflict resolution and cooperation, providing a strong foundation for children’s future relationships. Ultimately, co-parenting prioritizes the best interests of the children, helping them thrive despite the family restructuring.

Successful co-parenting after separation or divorce requires open communication, mutual respect, and a focus on the well-being of the parties’ children. To best ensure the success of a co-parenting relationship, it is crucial to keep discussions child-focused, and avoid negative talk about the other parent in front of the children. Flexibility and willingness to compromise are key, as well as seeking professional help if conflicts arise that cannot be resolved independently. Prioritizing the children’s emotional and physical needs will help ensure a positive co-parenting experience.

Here is a list of ideas for potential resources that may help co-parents manage and support their children’s well-being while navigating the changing family structure:

Books for Children

Age-appropriate books explaining separation and divorce
Stories that help children understand and cope with their feelings

Therapists and Counselors

Child psychologists for children’s emotional and mental health
Family therapists specializing in co-parenting dynamics

Support Groups for Children

Peer support groups for children of divorced parents
In-person and online groups providing a safe space for children to share their experiences
School counselors and social workers providing support and guidance

Mobile Apps

Apps designed to help children understand and manage their emotions
Co-parenting apps with features to ensure both parents stay informed about their child’s activities and needs

Books and Guides for Parents

Manuals on how to support children through the transition
Guides focusing on effective communication with children post-separation
Guides focusing on effective communication with your child’s other parent
Podcasts and Videos
Podcasts offering advice on supporting children’s mental health during divorce
YouTube channels with content aimed at helping children cope with family changes

Do I Really Need a Separation Agreement?

Fri, 07 Apr 2023 17:32:01 GMT

Why You Should File a Separation Agreement for Every Separation

Although separating from a spouse is never pleasant, some couples manage to remain amicable throughout the entire process. In most cases, that’s because they don’t have children or shared real estate to cause additional strife during the split. As a result, the spouses can go their separate ways without worrying about visitation schedules , equitable property distribution , or child support .

Couples splitting amicably often don’t believe they need a separation agreement. After all, if the process is straightforward and carefree, it may appear that all potential concerns can be solved through verbal arrangements.

However, this belief is generally misguided. Regardless of your good relationship with your former spouse, signing a separation agreement is beneficial for both parties. Keep reading to discover the advantages this document offers to couples in North Carolina.

What Is a Separation Agreement?

A separation agreement is a private contract signed by the spouses that becomes valid once it’s notarized. Its primary purpose is to reflect each partner’s wishes and needs, providing assistance during the marriage dissolution and helping with the division of property, custody, possessions, and obligations.

As a rule, spouses enter into a separation agreement without the court's involvement. Despite that, the contract is legally binding, and any breaches can lead to a civil lawsuit by the injured party.

What Can a Separation Agreement Determine?

Although each couple chooses what to include in their separation agreement, some topics arise in nearly all documents. We’ll examine these specific issues below.

Division of Property

The main issue a separation agreement addresses is the matter of property and its division. In other words, the document stipulates which spouse will remain in the marital house, as well as how to divide furniture and other property-related assets.

Keep in mind that the agreement only becomes effective once one of the spouses leaves the marital home, making the separation official. For instance, parties in North Carolina frequently believe that the separation period can begin even while they still live together, but that is not the case.

Distribution of Personal Possessions

The separation agreement outlines how personal possessions will be distributed and confirms the ownership of specific assets. Generally speaking, all items can be included in this category — household appliances, books, cash, and even kitchen utensils. Thus, it’s important to add all possessions that could be a point of contention and ensure the boundaries are clearly established.

As a rule, the party leaving the marital home should take all their personal possessions with them. If necessary, the agreement can include a date by which the removal must be completed.

Health Insurance Coverage

Frequently, employers provide health insurance covering an employee and their spouse. As a result, many married couples share the same plan, which they can continue to do even while separated. However, once they are officially divorced, the former spouses can no longer benefit from each other’s insurance.

Although the laws on health insurance coverage are clear, the separation period is slightly more ambiguous, allowing the parties to decide on the particulars. The spouses should determine whether they will continue to share the coverage and who will make the payments. Afterward, they should include the decision in their separation agreement.

Vehicle Ownership

If the couple owns vehicles, they must address the issue of ownership and distribution in the separation agreement. Additionally, if there are any loans to pay or repairs to make, the agreement should also determine the responsible party.

Pet Ownership

Family pets are often a sensitive subject and the root of many issues that arise during separation and divorce. To avoid potential arguments, add a provision regarding pet ownership to your agreement. If possible, you may even devise and include a visitation schedule for your pets. However, that is generally not advisable due to difficulties in enforcement.

Joint Accounts and Credit Cards

If the couple shared any bank accounts or credit cards, the separation agreement must detail how they should be handled. Considering that both parties have access to the funds in the joint account, the best option is to close it and open separate ones. However, the agreement still needs to discuss how the available funds should be split between the spouses.

Final Thoughts

Even when both spouses have each other’s best interests at heart, it’s unlikely that the separation process will be entirely smooth. Ultimately, it is a delicate matter that requires the parties to compromise even when they rather wouldn’t. To avoid conflicts during the process, make sure to sign a separation agreement and cover all potential issues in the document.

Do I Need a Lawyer for My Child Support Claim?

Tue, 28 Mar 2023 15:23:40 GMT

How to File a Support Claim for Child Support in North Carolina

Following the end of a marriage or a relationship, the biggest point of contention most former couples face is child custody and support . Although the parties can settle the matter without consulting a lawyer , it’s usually advisable to seek an expert’s assistance to make sure the child’s interests are protected. But before examining in more detail how an attorney can help in child support claims, let us look into North Carolina child support laws .

How North Carolina Child Support Laws Work

Contrary to a popular misconception, child support isn't always paid by the father. Instead, North Carolina’s child support laws put the obligation on the non-custodial parent, regardless of gender. In other words, a mother can also be ordered to pay child support if the child’s primary caretaker is the father.

Moreover, marriage is not a requirement for child support claims. Even if a couple was never married, the custodial parent has the right to demand child support from their former partner. However, before such claims are approved, paternity needs to be established in court. Typically, the father must acknowledge that the child is his by signing a form or providing the child’s birth certificate. Nevertheless, some cases may require medical proof of paternity. If the couple was married, establishing paternity isn’t necessary.

Child support can be paid only once the child is born, meaning that the court will reject claims made during pregnancy. However, regular laws apply after birth, requiring the non-custodial parent to pay monthly sums until the child turns eighteen or graduates high school — whichever comes last.

How North Carolina Child Support Is Calculated

In North Carolina, courts use child support calculators to determine the monthly sum the non-custodial parent must pay for their child’s upbringing. Parents should enter the number of children, monthly income, custody schedules, child support responsibilities, and the costs of health insurance, childcare, special needs, and transportation. The final number shown by the calculator is the amount the judge will require for child support.

Although the child support amount is usually calculated using this method, there are certain exceptions. For instance, if both parents’ income taken together exceeds $30,000 a month or $360,000 a year, different rules apply. In addition, parents without a stable monthly income may require special consideration, as the calculator may not be able to accurately calculate their child support obligations.

If necessary, the child support amount can be modified when one of the parents submits a petition. However, there are two requirements: the difference between the owed and received sums needs to be at least 15%, and three years have to pass from the previous child support order.

Even if these two conditions aren’t met, the court might consider approving the request in case it discovers changes in the child’s needs, the parent’s income, or physical custody. However, the parent must petition the court, as there are no automatic reviews in place.

How to Request Child Support

Requesting child support is often part of a larger lawsuit related to custody, equitable distribution, or spousal support. In such a case, it’s advisable to hire a lawyer who can handle various aspects of the lawsuit and ensure the best possible outcome.

However, if child support is the only dispute the parent is taking before the court, they can request the assistance of Child Support Services . This agency, registered under the Department of Health and Human Services, can open your case in a local court, help you locate the non-custodial parent and establish parentage, and obtain and enforce child support orders. In other words, Child Support Services can largely replace lawyers in this process.

Still, there are some limitations to what Child Support Services can do. Namely, the agency can only deal with child support — nothing else falls under its jurisdiction. For any other issues with visitation rights or custody, the parents in North Carolina must contact a lawyer if they require assistance.

Whether the custodial parent is using Child Support Services or working with a lawyer, they should obtain details about the non-custodial parent to support the claim. That information includes:

The address
Telephone number
Employer’s name and address
Social security number
Bank information and income
Tax return

Once the custodial parent gathers the necessary details, they should enter them into child support worksheets and submit them to the court.

The Consequences of Refusing to Pay Child Support

Once a child support order is in effect, the non-custodial parent has an obligation to pay the required sum regularly. If they refuse to do so, the judge may enforce the order by demanding that their tax refunds are intercepted and wages withheld. Moreover, the non-custodial parent may lose their driver’s and professional licenses and even have their passports denied when traveling.

Final Thoughts

Although parents aren’t legally required to consult a lawyer when making a child support claim in North Carolina, the process of obtaining an order is much easier if they do. Alternatively, they can get the assistance of Child Support Services, especially if child support is the only issue between the former spouses that needs resolving. Ultimately, it all depends on the claimant’s specific needs, and both options are worth considering.

When it comes to navigating family law issues, understanding grandparents' visitation rights in Wilmington, NC is crucial, especially in the context of child support claims. While the focus may often be on immediate parental obligations, the role of grandparents can significantly impact a child's well-being.

Who Gets the Pet During a Divorce?

Thu, 23 Feb 2023 19:29:09 GMT

Custody of Pets During a Divorce

As any owner will confirm, pets are a part of the family. It’s very easy to get attached to your four-legged companions. After all, they provide unconditional love and support, and the relationship with them is quite straightforward. A pet is one stable, consistent presence in your life that’s vital when life gets tough.

So, it’s no wonder that so many people lean on their pets during a divorce . However, pets can become the source of additional strife in such a situation. Namely, the question of pet custody can arise, especially if you and your spouse got the animal together.

Pet custody battles can get as heated as the ones for children, and sometimes even more so. That’s because the law isn’t quite so definitive when it comes to pets, and the parties frequently have to reach an agreement on their own. And that’s difficult to achieve in the emotionally charged circumstances of a divorce.

To help you prepare for potential pet ownership challenges in a divorce, we’ll take a look at how the courts deal with pet custody, as well as how you might resolve the issue on your own.

States With Pet Custody Laws

Some states — New Hampshire, New York, Alaska, California, and Illinois — have pet custody laws that essentially treat pets like children. In other words, the court looks into which spouse is likely to take good care of the pet and assigns them custody.

If both parties insist, courts can lay out a visitation schedule in the same way they do for children. For instance, one spouse could keep the pet during the week while the other takes care of it on the weekend. And if the ex-spouses live close to each other, they could even do alternating evenings.

Law in North Carolina

Unfortunately, pet custody laws still aren’t common practice in the US. Most states don’t have them, and North Carolina is no exception. In fact, the courts in North Carolina consider pets property , much like a car or a piece of furniture.

As a result, there is no visitation schedule of any kind, nor are the pet’s needs really taken into account. The judge only examines the proof of ownership to determine who should keep the pet. Usually, that’s the person whose name is on the adoption or purchase contracts, vet records, and other licenses.

Once they reach a decision, the courts in North Carolina won’t discuss the pet issue further. However, that doesn’t mean you have no chance of seeing your beloved pet again because your name isn’t on its adoption papers.

In fact, you and your spouse can reach a different agreement or set up a visitation schedule with your lawyers’ help. That’s entirely up to the parties involved, and the court will not intervene or try to stop you.

Should You Set Up a Pet Custody Schedule?

When both you and your spouse are attached to your furry family member, you’ll likely do everything you can to see them again. In such a case, a visitation schedule may seem like a great idea.

But depending on your relationship with your ex-spouse, sometimes it might be better to have a clean break. If you don’t have children and only share a pet, it’s advisable to determine who will take care of it and go your separate ways. That may be painful, but you’ll likely be glad to have made such a decision. Plus, your pet won’t have to change its surroundings every few days.

If you do have children and share custody with your spouse, things might be a bit different. After all, you’ll still be involved with your ex to a degree. In that case, you could opt for shared pet custody and send the pet to visit the spouse along with your children. This arrangement may benefit your children, too — pets will provide them stability and comfort as they adjust to the new circumstances.

Getting a Divorce During a Recession

Thu, 26 Jan 2023 19:46:40 GMT

The Effects of a Recession on Divorce

According to the Austin Institute for The Study of Family and Culture , infidelity is the most common reason for divorce . However, money issues and conflicts over finances come in a close second. In fact, 54% of couples who are in debt blame money for their disputes. They also believe that their partner's financial problems are reason enough to file for divorce .

But why does money have such a negative effect on marriages? Perhaps it's because it strongly influences every aspect of people's lives. Therefore, money issues tend to leak into activities, relationships, and personal desires. For instance, financial disputes between married parties can be about deciding whether to rent or own a home, lease or buy a car, move, send children to a public or private school, choose what extracurricular activities they should participate in, use credit cards, etc.

But even though financial concerns are a frequent source of conflict, an intriguing tendency shows that divorce rates tend to decline during moments of economic hardship. In such situations, people opt to remain married and continue living together.

How Recession Impacts Marriage and Divorce

According to experts, when couples have financial difficulties during a recession, they are more compelled to remain together because they believe they cannot afford to part ways. Regardless of how bad the marriage is, spouses conclude they don't have the means to live under two different roofs. For a couple, having two mortgage payments plus two sets of utility, HOA, insurance, and other obligations in times of financial insecurity seems like a bad decision.

On top of that, divorces are usually very expensive. The average cost is $10,000 for each partner's legal fees. There are also unforeseen costs involved, as well as expenses required to start living separately. Those can include moving out, acquiring new furniture, buying everything needed to set up a home, etc.

Spouses who are parents have even more to complain about, considering the extra driving required for custody transfers or other custodial responsibilities. These might appear to be modest costs. However, they can quickly mount up to increase the financial stress in an already tough situation.

Another issue to consider is that assets often lose value during a recession. As investment savings and retirement accounts decrease in value, so do house prices. Therefore, parties often have to acknowledge that their money or nest egg may not be as secure as they formerly thought. On the flip side, this might create an opportunity to buy out the spouse’s share in the family house rather than put it up for sale.

When a Divorce Is Inevitable

However, in many situations, there might be little choice but to move forward with the divorce despite the current economic climate. In the best-case scenario, people have enough resources to leave and get a divorce. On the other hand, some spouses might deem the freedom they will gain more significant than any financial loss. That is especially important when it comes to domestic abuse and cases where safety is compromised.

Parties might also consider taking up a second job or starting a side hustle. However, more work will impact parents' time with their kids, sometimes leading to even more stress.

How a Divorce During a Recession Impacts Children

Rough economic times affect children as well. For instance, newly divorced parents might not be able to afford private schools anymore, forcing the kids to attend public schools instead. Moreover, they might need to give up or limit their extracurricular activities. Vacations and trips might also become rare and far between.

Older children may need to find work after school or on the weekends to help with household expenses. They might even have to rethink college plans, switching from private or out-of-state colleges to local or public alternatives. Parents might also reconsider their commitments to assist in paying for their older children's education expenses.

A spouse paying child support or spousal support during a recession can argue to have the payments lowered. However, the receiving spouse can typically respond by adding a section in a separation agreement or court order requiring a review of the support payments after a certain period. Or they can ask for higher maintenance to cover the increased cost of living.

All in all, economic data reveals that single-parent homes typically have lower incomes and a higher rate of poverty. These patterns frequently hurt children's academic performance and increase the likelihood of coming into contact with the criminal justice system.

In Summary

The cost of divorce is high, considering attorney fees and legal expenses, among others. For this reason, spouses in need of money often postpone separation until the situation gets better economically. That decision is even more prominent among couples who work in unstable environments.

That said, those who do not wish to wait for the economy to stabilize to get a divorce may benefit from being able to start their new life sooner. But for those families who do stay together, difficult economic circumstances have been known to be the unifying factor that helped them find the strength to resolve issues.

In any case, divorce during a recession can be a challenging process and requires a different approach. However, partners can make the process as smooth as possible by being aware of a recession’s financial and other implications. Additionally, it's important to consider the recession's impact on children and ensure that they are taken care of throughout the process.

Fathers’ Rights in Custody Cases: What Dads Should Know

Sat, 31 Dec 2022 16:00:01 GMT

Fathers’ Rights in Custody Cases:

What Dads Should Know

Due to all the misinformation regarding fathers’ rights in custody cases circulating online, many dads are horrified that they will lose their children once they begin the separation process. According to the stories, even if the fathers are perfectly capable of raising children, the courts always favor mothers.

But what is the truth? Is the situation really that desperate for the fathers? To answer these questions, we will examine the North Carolina law in a bit more detail.

Custody Types

Before we discuss fathers’ rights specifically, we should explain the two types of custody courts distinguish — legal and physical.

Legal custody refers to the right to make decisions for and about the child as long as they are underage. For instance, the parent with legal custody decides which school the child will attend, as well as when and whether they need medical care. Legal custody also involves decisions related to extracurricular activities and other aspects of the minor’s social life.

In most cases, courts award joint legal custody to parents, especially when they show a willingness to agree on most issues. Simply put, regardless of who the child lives with, both parents have a say in making decisions. If that proves impossible, the court may intervene and make a ruling in the child's best interest.

On the contrary, a parent with physical custody lives with the child and spends most of the time with them. It’s widely believed that the mother is always the one with physical custody. However, over the past few years, courts have been more progressive.

Nowadays, the norm is that parents share a joint 50/50 physical custody. After all, spending time with both mum and dad is much better for a child's social growth, self-esteem, and school grades.

How Courts Determine Custody Schedules

Typically, courts ask parents to agree on a shared custody schedule rather than enforcing one. After all, if they propose a schedule on their own, it’s far more likely that they will respect it. But when an agreement is not possible, the judges might step in and make a decision instead.

In such cases, courts will consider many factors before deciding. An important one is the distance between the parents’ new homes, as well as how far they live from the child’s school. If the parents live close to each other, a 50/50 schedule is possible and usually chosen by the judge. Sometimes, parents will also agree on an alternating 2-2-3 schedule or a week-on, week-off plan.

However, even when a 50/50 split is impossible due to the distance or one parent’s frequent business trips, there are ways to spend more time with children. They may live with their mother, but that doesn’t mean the father won’t be seeing them frequently. For instance, he could drive them to school, spend his free holiday days with them, or take them to dinner several times a week.

Ultimately, it’s essential to know the children’s calendar, including holidays, school breaks, and extracurriculars. That way, the father can plan his time with his children more effectively, despite not having primary custody.

Use Technology to Help You Plan Your Schedule

Thanks to modern planning tools, agreeing on and keeping track of a custody schedule is much easier. Various family apps allow parents to upload their children’s school schedule and use it for planning quality time. What’s more, you can mark extracurricular activities too. Doing so will help you stay in the loop and never miss any school events, practices, and games.

Aside from school-related activities, parents can also enter doctor and dentist appointments into the app. Considering that both should be as involved in child care as possible, it's a good idea to take turns driving the children there. Since it’s easy to lose track of who is responsible for what, you and your spouse should mark your names next to activities you plan to take on.

Finally, if you can’t see your children frequently due to the distance, modern technology has a solution for you. Use Facetime or Zoom to talk to them whenever possible. It might not be as good as being in the same room with them, but it does give you an opportunity to stay involved in your children’s lives.

Right to Babysit

Even if you don’t have physical custody of your child, your separation agreement will likely have a clause defining the “first right of refusal.” In other words, when the custodial parent needs someone to take care of the child for a few hours, they must offer this opportunity to the other parent first. If the request is met with a refusal, the custodial parent can look for a babysitter or an available relative.

This clause is made to allow non-custodial parents to spend more time with their children, so make sure to take advantage of it whenever you can. After all, your children will likely be happier spending time with you than with a babysitter.

Final Thoughts

Nowadays, courts strive to involve both parents in their children’s lives equally and without prejudice. Thanks to that, good and responsible fathers who want to keep their custody rights certainly won’t be neglected. And while you won’t be spending as much time with them as before the divorce, a carefully thought-out custody schedule should take your wishes and rights into account as much as your spouse’s.

How to Draft a Good Separation Agreement: The Nuts and Bolts

Thu, 01 Dec 2022 01:57:17 GMT

What to Look Out for While Creating a Separation Agreement

When two partners want to live separate lives but aren’t ready for a divorce yet, their best option is to get a separation agreement. Granted, drafting one isn’t easy, and it will take a lot of hours of hard work. But it’s nonetheless an excellent first step. In fact, the better the separation agreement between the two parties, the less stress they’ll both feel during the process.

So, how would you draft a proper agreement to separate from your spouse? In this article, we will share some of the basic information related to the process and how you can best approach it. We will also delve a little into what an agreement should include and how you can do it quickly and efficiently.

What Is a Separation Agreement?

Generally speaking, a separation agreement is a contract between two partners who have decided to separate before filling for a divorce . Many people confuse separation agreements with divorce or annulment . However, those are not synonyms. A divorce is a process wherein the two parties are no longer married. Legally speaking, your status after the process isn’t “single”, but rather “divorced”. An annulment, on the other hand, is a process wherein the parties treat their marriage as if it had never happened in the first place.

When we’re talking about separation, we need to focus on two of its most common types: formal and informal. The latter is essentially treated as a phase when the spouses decide to spend some time apart. They are still legally married and cannot enter a new marital unit. Formal separation is the next step after the informal one since it includes drafting an agreement and going to court. However, the couple still remains married, even with the agreement being valid.

When Do You Use a Separation Agreement?

There are many different situations that warrant a separation agreement, but not a divorce. Here’s a brief list of the most common ones that people cite:

The couple wants to separate and the partners need to decide on how to split their property
Both parties want to have some time apart, but aren’t ready to divorce just yet and need time to decide on what to do next
Parties are eager to separate but don’t want the court to decide on how to split the assets, preferring to do it themselves
Each partner wants to retain the status of being married, but also to live separately from one another
You and your partner are both willing to separate, but want to decide on the division of assets in advance before finalizing anything.

What Should You Include in the Final Draft of the Document?

Broadly speaking, these are the elements that need to end up in the final draft of the separation agreement:

Asset division
Debt division
Partner support
Spousal benefits
Allocation of certain costs
Child-related subjects
Property expenses.

Tips and Suggestions on Drafting the Agreement

Disclosing Assets

It is important that both you and your partner disclose any assets you might have. For instance, let's say that you have $10,000 and do not disclose it in time. As a result, your partner may receive a higher percentage of that asset than they normally would. We recommend compiling a list with your partner, noting every single aspect you both own and double-checking just to be safe.

Attorney Review

Legally, an attorney cannot represent a couple in drafting separation agreements. Instead, each party needs to have their own lawyer look over the draft once it’s completed. It’s also crucial to have representation early on in the process. One of the parties may waive the right to counsel, which will have to be stipulated in the document itself. If you do that, you will no longer be able to consult a lawyer later in the separation process.

Court Intervention

Courts normally do not intervene in separation agreements and modify too many decisions related to the adult parties. They might, for instance, change some of the agreements regarding asset division, or even spousal care. However, 9 times out of 10, if the court does intervene, it will revolve around children that are under the age of 18. If a court deems an agreement not to be in the best interest of the child, they will step in and alter it accordingly. Some courts also intervene when it comes to pets.

Waived Items

When you don’t specify an item within the agreement, such as an asset, that item is considered waived. As such, you can’t come back and claim it (or parts of it) once the separation is concluded. Once again, we stress that it’s important to mention all of the items and assets relevant to the separation. In addition, you need to have a clause within the document that stipulates waiving any claims or rights to items that the separation agreement didn’t include or mention.

Divorce Order Incorporation

Some couples decide to incorporate their separation agreement into a divorce order. Once they do, the court can actually enforce the points made in the agreement. However, it can also modify certain points without much issue.

On the other hand, couples that don’t incorporate the agreement into the divorce order will not see any changes to it. Furthermore, the court cannot enforce any changes once the divorce is finalized.

Breaches and Lawsuits

While a separation agreement isn’t the same as a divorce order, it’s still a legally binding document and a contract. And if one party breaks the stipulations made in the contract, the other party can file a lawsuit against them. Furthermore, remedies for a breach of contract are definitely available. For example, if your partner breaches the agreement in any fashion, you can sue them for monetary or material compensation.

Breaches Post-Incorporation

Of course, breaching the agreement still counts even after it’s been incorporated into the divorce order. If a partner violates any of the terms, you can have them held in contempt of court for not complying with the court order. As we stated earlier, a separation agreement is every bit as valid as a divorce order. As such, both partners need to follow the stipulated rules.

Details

No matter what the issue may be between the two separating parties, you need to be as detailed in your agreement as possible. For instance, let's say that you two share a property and you need to sell it to cover the legal fees. Obviously, you must discuss every single aspect of the sale. That includes realtors, clients, the division of the earnings, as well as which items go to which party after the sale is done.

When it comes to children and visitation rights , you must decide on the dates as meticulously as possible. That means covering every single school holiday, trip, anniversary, or family event. The distance between the parent and the child must also be discussed.

It might be a tedious task, but getting all the details is crucial. The more details you have, the less ambiguity there will be when discussing certain issues. More importantly, there will be no room for interpretation of the rules. Thus, everything will be as smooth and fair as possible.

Clarity and Lack of Ambiguity

When drafting the agreement, both you and your partner must be as clear and concise as possible, without any sort of ambiguity. Always state the terms you and your partner agreed on clearly and openly. If there are certain legal terms you do not understand, speak to an expert and have them clarified. There are times when legal terminology can purposefully mislead a party, and you will want to avoid that as much as possible.

Conflicting Terms

The worst detail any separation agreement can have is conflicting terms. In a nutshell, those are terms that clash due to one or more details within the terms either overlapping or contradicting themselves. One such example can include property. Let’s say that you want to sell your hatchback and the agreement states that the sales result in you getting 70% of the earnings. But then, a different term states that all vehicles go to your partner, not including the bicycles and the skateboards. Since the hatchback can’t belong to your partner AND be an item you can sell at the same time, you and your partner have a conflicting term on your hands.

Separation Agreements in a Nutshell

Separation is never easy; that much is clear. It’s a time of emotional turmoil, and one wrong decision can be life-changing. Hopefully, this article will help you draft the most suitable separation agreement that will leave both you and your former partner satisfied in the end.

What issues may arise during a separation that need to be addressed?

When undergoing a separation, several crucial issues need to be addressed to ensure clarity and avoid conflicts. These include financial arrangements, such as deciding whether to maintain a joint bank account or separate credit cards, and establishing a budget for individual spending. Housing is another significant concern; it's essential to determine who will continue living in the family home. Additionally, shared responsibilities such as bill payments need clear allocation between both parties.

If children are involved, devising a parenting plan is critical. This plan should cover how both parents will share custody and handle visitation schedules. By addressing these issues early, separated couples can create a framework for their new living arrangements and reduce potential stresses during this challenging time.

How to put separation agreements in writing when separated?

Drafting a Separation Agreement: Key Steps to Consider

Essential Elements of a Written Separation Agreement

Creating a written separation agreement is a constructive step for couples who are contemplating a potential reconciliation or looking to define terms during a separation. A well-structured agreement can help eliminate misunderstandings and provide clear guidelines on various crucial aspects of this transitional phase.

Financial Arrangements: Outline how bank accounts, credit cards, and household budgets will be managed. Decide if joint accounts will remain active and how responsibilities for debts and expenditures will be allocated.
Living Arrangements: Determine who will reside in the family home or if alternative living arrangements are necessary. It’s important to address how the costs associated with the family home, such as mortgage, rent, and utilities, will be split.
Parenting Plan: For couples with children, a detailed parenting plan is vital. This should include a schedule outlining when each parent will spend time with the children. It should also cover other parenting responsibilities and decision-making authorities.

Implementing the Agreement

Once these decisions have been made, it's crucial to capture them in writing. Although an informal written document can serve well, having a formal agreement drafted by a legal professional can ensure that all elements are legally sound and enforceable. Ensure both parties review and agree to the terms before signing.

In summary, a separation agreement acts as a roadmap for navigating the complexities of this period. By addressing financial, living, and parental arrangements upfront, both parties can move forward with a clearer understanding of their responsibilities and expectations.

Signs That Your Wife Might be Cheating On You

Mon, 31 Oct 2022 21:50:52 GMT

How to Catch a Cheating Spouse

Infidelity is an ever-growing issue in the early 2020s. While some people may handle polyamory or polygamy, there are millions of both men and women who prefer traditional marriage and faithfulness. As a consequence, divorce rates are high and more and more couples are seeking counseling, as well as separation attorneys.

There may be different reasons behind your spouse being unfaithful. Emotional and sexual unfulfillment play a major role in most splits. Financial or health issues that couples don’t discuss in a timely manner also contribute to the separation. Alternatively, your spouse may have simply fallen out of love or acted out of anger.

However, this article will not deal with the causes of marital infidelity. Instead, it will focus on how you can discern whether one's wife is seeing someone in secret.

Before we move onto the list, we will need a brief disclaimer. While the signs listed below can point to cheating, there’s a high chance they’re mere changes in behavior. Therefore, we advise not jumping to conclusions until you have concrete evidence of unfaithful behavior.

List of Telltale Cheating Signs

Social Media Activity Increases

Does your wife spend more time on social media platforms than before? One must keep in mind that a large percentage of couples today have social media accounts. Therefore, it’s not out of the ordinary to see your spouse using a smart device more often than usual. However, there are ways you can be sure that her social media behavior is pointing to infidelity:

Is she spending a lot more time on the phone or computer than usual?
Is she ignoring you while focusing on social media?
Did she change any passwords that you may have shared or known about previously?
Did she sign up for any alternative social media platforms (i.e., Parler, Gab, Telegram, Discord, VK, Gettr, Truth Social, MeWe, Minds) without notifying you beforehand?
Did she remove any material content or hide certain posts?

Changes in Physical Appearance

Partners that aim to date outside of marriage will often change or upgrade their appearance. Therefore, if your partner is showing drastic changes in the way they look, it might be a telltale sign. Broadly speaking, women who cheat tend to buy new clothes, get new haircuts, wear risque underwear, apply more makeup than usual, etc. Sometimes, the changes can manifest in different ways. For example, a woman might want to get in shape for her new partner. Therefore, she will take up fitness, yoga, pilates, or other types of intense physical activity.

Naturally, changes to her appearance may just come as a personal choice rather than an effort to look appealing to their lover. If your spouse invites you to engage in the same activities as her, then there’s no cause for concern. On the other hand, you might want to explore the possibility of infidelity if she’s secretive about her activities or refuses to let you partake in them.

Changes in Behavior

A change in one’s behavior can be either subtle or noticeable, and there are endless possibilities. Perhaps she will act more agreeable to you than ever before in order to hide her intentions. Alternatively, she might act aggressively towards you due to the mounting frustration. The instances of her nitpicking your minor mistakes can also be a clue. The key is to notice any potential changes early. Once you do, it’s time to start planning for the worst.

Changes in Work Habits

If your wife is employed and has recently received a promotion or a position change, then different work habits are expected. That will include staying longer hours at the office or going on more business trips. And broadly speaking, that’s perfectly normal and not a reason for concern.

Now, if there hasn’t been a significant change at the office, but she still comes back late far too often, you will want to look into it more. In addition, even the biggest corporations don’t organize weekly business trips for low-level employees.

Increased Alcohol Intake

An individual’s drinking habits can reveal a lot about their current behavior and/or frame of mind. When it comes to the matter of infidelity, more women than men tend to drink in excess when they’re being unfaithful. But it goes beyond the matter of quantity. An unfaithful woman will be prone to going out and drinking with her friends more often than a faithful one. Knowing that, you ought to observe the level of alcohol in the house and note down any significant changes.

How to Handle Infidelity

It’s never easy to learn about your partner of many years finding pleasure in other partners without your knowledge or consent. Some initial anger and disappointment are understandably expected, though we advise not to act immediately. Approaching the matter level-headed will give you a higher chance of achieving justice .

Once you’ve calmed down from the initial news, the best solution is to consult your local family law practice and start working on the problem. Sometimes, it may end with you and your wife working through the problem together. But there’s always a possibility of a separation , if not outright divorce, so it’s best to be legally covered when it comes to that. The key is to present the facts to the court and come out of the ordeal as a healed individual.

Dating During Divorce

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 13:55:05 GMT

Pros and Cons of During While Going Through a Divorce

For some people, dating while going through a divorce is entirely unimaginable. But others find a certain degree of comfort in it. Dating provides a distraction from the emotional turmoil in their lives, as well as company that helps them deal with loneliness. Keep in mind, though, that such relationships don’t typically last long. Despite that, they could seriously impact the outcome of your divorce.

Should You Date During Divorce?

When divorce experts are asked whether dating during the divorce proceedings is a good idea, their answer is a unanimous no. In fact, they don’t just recommend waiting until the divorce is finalized but also staying single for a year afterward. That way, both you and your former spouse will have enough time to process this change emotionally.

Despite the advice, many people do begin to date at this stage. Of course, the decision is entirely up to you, but you should be aware of the potential legal consequences. Even if your relationship is not adulterous in nature, your spouse could present it as such, adding fault grounds to your filing in certain states. That, in turn, could affect the property distribution and alimony amount later during the process.

So, if you have been dating or having an adulterous relationship, it’s best to put that on hold during the proceedings. If it’s meant to be, it will survive, and you can resume it once the air is clear again. Otherwise, the divorce might take a serious toll on your finances.

Potential Consequences of Dating During Divorce

1. Slower and More Expensive Divorce

Divorces are typically unpleasant and emotionally charged and should be resolved as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done, especially when one side feels they have been slighted in some way. And openly dating during divorce can cause precisely such feelings in your soon-to-be former spouse.

Remember — you moving on doesn’t mean that your spouse has. They still could be emotionally attached to you and may become angry or jealous if they discover you are dating. That may cause them to purposefully work against you during the divorce, prolonging the process and increasing expenses. Consider carefully if you should reveal your new relationship and whether dating so soon is genuinely worth it.

2. Children Could Struggle With Accepting the New Situation

Divorce is never easy on children , but bringing a new person into their lives can make the situation more complicated. If your children notice you’re moving on too quickly, they might resent you for that or feel you are to blame for the end of the marriage. You also shouldn’t expect them to accept your new companion — in their eyes, that person is just as guilty as you.

On the other hand, they might get along with your new partner wonderfully, but that’s not necessarily a good thing. If your relationship doesn’t last, your children will lose another person they formed a bond with. And if that comes soon after the divorce, it will be quite a serious blow.

3. A More Difficult Position When Negotiating Finances

A new relationship may affect your standing during financial negotiations, especially if it involves living with another person. If you’re asking for support from your former spouse, you’ll need to justify your financial needs, and that will be more difficult to do when you’re sharing expenses with someone else. That doesn’t mean you’ll get no financial support, but it’s likely to be lower than if you were living alone.

On the other hand, if your spouse demands you pay the alimony , the amount might be higher if you live with another person. The logic behind it is similar — you share your household expenses with your significant other and are thus able to pay more to your ex or for child support .

4. You Might Receive Less Parenting Time

When deciding on a child custody arrangement , the court will likely invite a specialist to evaluate your relationship with your children. This person won’t have any information about you aside from what they see on the spot. Therefore, you’ll want to present your bond in the best possible light.

Unfortunately, if you’re dating during divorce, the bond with your children might be temporarily damaged. They might show discomfort around you and your new partner. That will, in turn, affect the amount of parenting time the court awards you.

In addition, some experts might consider your decision to date questionable in itself and wonder whether it shows your lack of regard for your children and their feelings. Thus, you need to think carefully about how your decision to date will affect your parenting rights.

Final Thoughts

If you decide to date despite all the potential consequences, do so discreetly and don’t involve your children too early. That way, you’ll avoid issues in negotiations, possible heartbreak, and damaged relationships with your children. Still, just as experts say, it might be better to wait until you’re fully independent and separated from your former spouse before dating.

Divorce and Disability In North Carolina: What You Need to Know

Tue, 30 Aug 2022 18:36:03 GMT

Filling for a Divorce When You or Your Spouse are Disabled

It is devastating to learn that studies have linked the onset of a disability to an increase in divorce rates. While future and financial planning are crucial for any marriage facing divorce, they become more complicated when a handicap is present.

How will a divorce affect a person's disability benefits? What happens if they used to rely on a spouse for help? Where to even start answering these questions when there are so many complexities?

What Is Considered a Disability?

Perhaps the best place to start is by defining disability. The term "disability" is specified under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) as a legal term rather than a medical one. Because of that, the ADA describes disability differently from other statutes, such as for Social Security Disability benefits.

According to the ADA, a disabled person has a physical or mental impairment that significantly limits at least one major acti vity of daily living. This civil rights act makes discrimination based on a handicap illegal regarding work, transportation, public accommodations, and governmental access.

At the same time, Social Security offers a different definition of disability. According to this description, disability is an inability to participate in any kind of substantial gainful activity (SGA) as a result of a mental or physical impairment that can be medically determined. The impairment must have lasted or is predicted to stay for a minimum of twelve months or end in death.

Therefore, a wide variety of impairments people experience can fall under the umbrella word "disability." During a divorce, a judge would demand a detailed evaluation of the handicap developed before or during the marriage.

Disability and Divorce

When a spouse divorces but has never worked or is unable to work due to a handicap, there is typically a strong case for spousal support, which a judge can grant for a prolonged time. This financial help is otherwise known as alimony and can depend on how many months a marriage lasted.

If the non-disabled spouse has assisted or provided care for the disabled partner, it will impact the financial outcome of the divorce . That is because a disabled partner now needs to find a replacement for the ex-spouse's assistance for everyday tasks. That includes domestic chores, errands, doctor appointments, etc., which will have a significant financial impact and, in turn, increase spousal support.

Parenting Rights

An individual has to be mentally capable to be a parent. For this reason, if the handicap is serious enough, it can affect a parent's capacity to care for a child. For instance, a severe handicap may indicate that a parent lacks the mental capacity needed for such a task. Naturally, that could impact child custody .

In such a case, contacting an attorney as early as possible in the proceedings is advisable. That way, parents can ensure that the children's custody arrangement goes as smoothly as possible.

SSDI and SSI Benefits

A judge also takes into account whether a parent with a disability receives disability benefits, like SSDI or SSI. A person who has paid social security payroll taxes over the years is eligible for SSDI — Social Security Disability Insurance . SSDI is a federal program that receives funding from payroll taxes. It provides income supplements to those whose physical limitations prevent them from working.

While divorce will not impact SSDI eligibility or payment, a judge may decide to withhold SSDI funds to cover child support obligations. That means a judge takes SSDI into account while determining child support .

On the other hand, a disabled individual who has never worked or hasn't put in enough hours to qualify for SSDI may be eligible for SSI ( Supplemental Security Income ). SSI benefits do not count as income and, therefore, cannot be withheld. On the contrary — payments might increase after a divorce because SSI is a need-based help.

It is important to note that social security benefits cannot be distributed as marital property. Similarly, VA payments don't count as marital property when dividing assets .

Children With Disability

Any child with physical or mental impairments can also get SSI. Children and their needs play a significant role in the overall financial picture of divorce. That's why child support calculations should factor in specific requirements for children with disabilities.

What support networks and resources are recommended for individuals going through a divorce with a disabled spouse?

When navigating the complexities of a divorce involving a disabled spouse, it’s crucial to access the right support networks and resources. Engaging with community groups and organizations that focus on disability advocacy can be highly beneficial. These groups offer tailored advice and can help connect you with legal and social assistance specific to your needs.

Furthermore, consider joining therapy sessions or support groups. These settings provide a safe space to discuss your challenges and emotions, offering both professional guidance and peer support. Therapists who specialize in divorce and disability issues can be particularly helpful, providing strategies to manage the situation more effectively.

Additionally, online forums and social media groups can also serve as vital support resources. They allow you to share experiences and receive support from others who understand the unique challenges you’re facing. This network can be an invaluable source of encouragement and practical advice during this difficult time.

How might disability benefits be affected by a divorce involving a disabled spouse?

Divorce can significantly impact disability benefits, raising numerous complexities that need careful handling. A disabled spouse who receives benefits like Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) or Supplemental Security Income (SSI) might face alterations in their benefit status post-divorce. This change primarily depends on the nature of the benefits received and individual circumstances.

Understanding SSDI and SSI

SSDI: Typically based on the disabled person's work history and earnings.

SSI: Assesses income and provides benefits based on financial need.

How Divorce Affects Disability Benefits

1. SSDI: If a disabled spouse receives SSDI, divorce might not directly impact the benefits as SSDI is awarded based on the disabled individual's own work history.

2. SSI: Since SSI is determined by current income, a divorce could lead to changes in household income and potentially alter benefit amounts.

Legal Considerations

To navigate the intricacies of how divorce might modify disability benefits, it's crucial to seek legal advice. An experienced attorney can provide guidance tailored to specific situations, ensuring that rights are protected and financial stability is maintained. This legal support is essential in understanding pre-divorce agreements and their implications on disability benefits post-divorce.

Overall, the impact of divorce on disability benefits can be substantial, necessitating thorough preparation and expert legal assistance to manage effectively.

How can mediation help in a divorce involving a disabled spouse?

Understanding Mediation in Divorce Cases Involving a Disabled Spouse

Divorce can be a complex and emotional process, especially when one of the spouses has a disability. Mediation emerges as a supportive solution in such cases, offering multiple benefits that address the unique needs of the situation.

Facilitating Communication: One of the primary challenges in a divorce involving a disabled spouse is communication. Mediation provides a structured environment where both parties can express their needs and concerns in a respectful and understanding manner. A mediator, who acts as a neutral facilitator, ensures that the conversation remains productive and focused on solutions.

Tailoring Solutions: Every divorce has its own set of complexities, and the presence of a disability can add additional layers to the negotiation. Through mediation, solutions can be specifically tailored to accommodate the unique needs of the disabled spouse. Whether it’s arranging adequate financial support, or considering accessibility needs and caregiving arrangements, mediation allows for customized agreements that are mutually beneficial.

Reducing Conflict and Stress : The traditional divorce process can be adversarial and stressful, potentially exacerbating the challenges faced by a disabled individual. Mediation, by contrast, emphasizes cooperation and resolution. This approach not only reduces the emotional strain but also helps preserve a civil relationship between the parties. This is particularly vital when children are involved, or when the couple shares business or personal assets.

Mediation is a valuable tool in divorces involving a disabled spouse by promoting a calm, personalized, and respectful negotiating environment. This not only aids in reaching agreeable outcomes but also supports the ongoing well-being of both parties.

What are some solutions and support options available when divorcing a disabled spouse?

Understanding Solutions and Support in Divorce with a Disabled Spouse

Divorcing a disabled spouse involves unique considerations and challenges. It’s critical to approach the situation with care and informed support. Here are some key support options and solutions that can help both parties navigate the divorce process respectfully and effectively:

1. Mediation Services

Utilizing a mediator can be invaluable in divorce cases involving a disabled spouse. Mediators act as impartial facilitators who help both partners discuss their needs and work towards equitable solutions in a structured setting. This process often leads to outcomes that are agreeable to both parties without the emotional intensity of a court battle.

2. Specialized Legal Advice

It is essential to work with a divorce lawyer who has experience in cases involving disability. Such attorneys are well-versed in related legal rights and the nuances of asset division and alimony, ensuring that the settlement considers the long-term welfare of the disabled spouse. They can offer strategic advice tailored to protect both parties’ interests.

3. Understanding Disability Benefits

The impact of divorce on benefits such as Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) must be carefully evaluated. Professional legal guidance is crucial here, as the rules governing these benefits are complex. A lawyer can explain how your divorce may alter these benefits and suggest ways to mitigate negative consequences.

4. Emotional and Practical Support

Reaching out to support networks that specialize in disability can provide both practical advice and emotional comfort. These might include local disability advocacy groups, online forums, and specialized therapists or counselors. Such resources can be a lifeline, offering support from individuals who understand the specific challenges faced during such transitions.

By considering these structured support options, individuals can approach the dissolution of a marriage involving a disabled spouse with a balanced, informed, and compassionate strategy. Each measure can significantly contribute to a fair and smooth process for both parties involved.

Final Thoughts

Divorce is often tough. But dealing with a disability can make it even more difficult for everyone concerned, especially the disabled party. For this reason, it would be best to seek assistance with these issues from an experienced lawyer .

Why You Shouldn't Divorce Before Property is Settled

Sun, 31 Jul 2022 13:30:18 GMT

How Does North Carolina's Property Distribution Work?

In Wilmington, North Carolina, you can resolve the distribution of property through a property settlement . A property settlement is a type of agreement between spouses engaged in a separation process.

However, if an agreement is not possible, spouses must resort to court-sanctioned property distribution. In such a case, the ex-spouses have to undertake a series of steps the court sets, in the process known as " equitable distribution " (E.D.).

If you want to learn more details, consult the property distribution statutes. Also, if you think you might have to go to court in the foreseeable future, please read our Tips on Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer for the Frist Time . Another good source of information is our blog post that we provide each month. There, we talk about common problems that arise in property distribution , child custody , and so much more.

Use a Separation Agreement to Settle Property Without Going to Court

When the separation process starts, the spouses' rights to the E.D. of property become effective. However, those rights are not inherent. That means at least one spouse must explicitly assert them. When the court receives the application from a spouse, it assesses the marital property and arranges for equitable distribution.

At any point after the divorce, either spouse can start the E.D. process as an individual action. But they can also file it in conjunction with some other action brought under Chapter 50 or as a motion in the case. A judge has the authority to issue a final E.D. ruling before the divorce is complete or after it. If the ruling is issued by consent, both spouses might agree to it before the divorce.

Avoid "Disappearing Property"

You can obtain injunctive relief and temporary orders due to special legislative conditions that permit injunctive relief to stop the disappearance, conversion, or waste of property believed to be marital or separate. They also allow directions to distribute a portion of marital assets.

Partial distribution can include a distributive award . But injunctive relief is offered prior to or after an E.D. action begins to avoid disappearance, conversion, or waste. A court cannot issue an order partly dividing the property before a spouse files an E.D. action.

The Purpose of the Separation Agreement

If you don’t have a prior claim protecting you, an absolute divorce can impose a bar preventing you from starting the E.D. process. Another typical obstacle to E.D. is the preceding enactment of a legitimate, complete property settlement splitting the spouses' property or surrendering the privilege to E.D. in any other way. That means that if the agreement is properly signed in compliance with the standard legislative requirements, it may exclude a future E.D. under the conditions mentioned below.

A prohibition like that may result not just from property settlements reached during the separation process but from written prenuptial and postnuptial contracts as well.

The unperformed or executory provisions of a separation agreement that included property stipulations were generally held to be invalid under prior law reconciliation. The courts today distinguish between contracts where the spouses desire a full property settlement, no matter if they ever get back together after a divorce, and agreements where the separation is of the essence.

Property settlements must be interpreted in accordance with the spouses' intentions and the contract's language. Only if the release of property rights in such an agreement "necessarily" hinged on the spouses staying apart would a reconciliation nullify the release.

To What Extent Does Death Affect Equitable Distribution?

Whether both spouses are still alive might also have an impact on an E.D. claim. The timing of a spouse's passing can significantly affect whether a pending E.D. case will succeed. Court will bar the E.D. if a spouse passes away while the E.D. claim is underway but before a court grants an absolute divorce.

On the other hand, if an E.D. claim is ongoing and the divorce was already granted, the spouse's passing after would not impede E.D. In this situation, the administrator of the decedent's property or executor must join the ongoing action together with any inheritors whose claims the E.D. action will affect. Any order of selling real property is invalid as to the heirs if they are not united.

Protecting Military Pay from Property Division

The North Carolina Court of Appeals has finally confirmed that military disability payments do not fall within the federal definition of "disposable retired or retainer pay." Therefore, they cannot be designated as matrimonial property or allocated under North Carolina equitable distribution legislation.

Previously, the Court of Appeals had ruled that disposable serviceman's retirement payment, as federal law defines it, can be distributed under the explicit language of the Uniformed Services Former Spouses' Protection Act and G.S. 50-20(b)(1) . G.S. limits allocation to "eligible" military pensions and thus doesn't cause preemption issues. Such a ruling was following the decision of the United States Supreme Court.

The Court's Method of Property Division

The court uses a three-part analysis when allocating marital property. Only the debts and assets belonging to the parties as their marital property will be divided. An order dividing the spouses' property must include documented findings of fact that support the court's conclusion that the property was split equitably.

Mothers’ Rights in Custody Cases: What to Know When You’re Separating

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 16:03:15 GMT

How Divorce can Affect Your Rights as a Mother

Separating from your spouse is always difficult, but it’s even more challenging when children are involved. In such a situation, the court and parents need to consider who the children should live with, as well as how to still keep the other parent in the picture. Whatever the circumstances of the divorce , that’s never an easy task.

There’s also plenty of misinformation about child custody going around. For instance, many still believe that the mother is always awarded custody rights, while fathers are completely overlooked. That might have been the case in the past, but nowadays, shared custody is becoming much more common. In fact, that’s the one you’re most likely to get unless there is a really good reason not to.

Types of Custody

Two custody types you should be aware of are physical and legal. If you have legal custody , that means you can make major decisions for your child, as long as they are underage and unable to choose for themselves. To be more specific, the parent with legal custody could decide about the child’s education, medical and mental care, and extracurricular activities.

Even after separation, many parents choose to share legal custody of the children. In such a case, one parent alone can’t make major decisions for the minor — both the father and the mother need to agree before going forward. If that’s impossible, the court makes a ruling instead, putting the child’s best interest first.

On the contrary, physical custody refers to which parent the child lives with and how much time the non-custodial parent gets with the child. While it’s true that mothers were largely favored in the past, courts are definitely changing their habits nowadays. They are striving towards a more joint 50/50 custody schedule. That may not always be possible, but they do try to ensure both the mother and the father get as much time with the children as they can.

And there’s a good reason for that, too. Studies have shown children benefit the most when both parents are equally involved in their lives. Their school grades are better, and they become more confident and socially competent. Thus, it’s crucial for the child to still receive love and support from both sides, even if the former spouses no longer share the same address.

How Custody Schedules Are Determined

Whenever possible, courts ask parents to propose and agree on the custody schedule . That’s always the best option, as it implies that they will probably respect it — after all, they’ve chosen it themselves. But unfortunately, some parents have a hard time agreeing during the separation process, so the judge has to step in and decide instead.

As we’ve said, courts always attempt to grant both parents equal time with their children. Of course, that’s easier if the mother and the father live in the same district or neighborhood, so the children don’t have to travel long and change their surroundings too often. Most evenly split schedules give a week with the children to one parent and the following week to another. The other option is an alternating 2-2-3 schedule , which has become quite popular recently.

Even if a 50/50 custody schedule doesn’t work, there are still ways for parents to spend more quality time with their children. Driving them to and picking them up from school is an excellent opportunity to catch up every day. Also, the non-custodial parent could invite their children over for dinner a few nights a week.

Tools for Planning Your Time With Your Children

If you’re a non-custodial parent, you may find it more difficult to plan quality time with your children. After all, they have their own agendas and activities that you may be less aware of since you don’t live with them. Still, that’s a fairly minor obstacle that’s easy to overcome — especially nowadays with all the available technology.

Of course, the best way to plan time with your children is to talk to them and your former spouse. But there are also family time apps that allow users to upload their schedules to a calendar so the other family members can see them. That way, you’ll stay in the loop, and organizing a hangout with your child shouldn’t be an issue.

If you live further away from your children and can’t see them quite as often, video calls can be a great method of keeping in touch. They can’t entirely replace face-to-face communication, but they have greatly risen in popularity over the last few years, so trying them out might not be a bad idea.

Final Thoughts

Instead of automatically giving the mother full custody, courts are now trying to involve both parents in their children’s lives as equally as possible. And parents should strive towards that too. After all, that’s in your child’s best interest, and there should be nothing more important than that.

Raising a Child With an Abusive Ex-Spouse

Wed, 25 May 2022 17:56:25 GMT

How to Co-Parent with an Abusive Ex-Spouse

Whether physical or psychological, domestic abuse is always a traumatic and painful experience. Once the abuse victim gets out of this situation, they never want to look back or go near their abusive spouse again. But when children are in the picture, the situation gets far more complicated.

For instance, despite the abuse you’ve endured, the court may think your ex is fit to co-parent with you. In that case, you’ll likely have to keep some form of communication with them, even if you don’t feel comfortable with it. That may seem cruel and unfair, but in the court’s eyes, the child benefits when having two parents in their life instead of just one.

Still, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take certain measures to protect yourself physically and mentally. In fact, setting firm boundaries and staying safe is the key to having a functional co-parenting relationship with your abuser. If you’re not sure how to do that, we’re more than happy to give you some advice.

How Does Co-Parenting Work?

Co-parenting is a term typically denoting a relationship between two former spouses who are still raising a child together. It involves sharing certain responsibilities, paying for the child’s needs together, and spending time with the child in turns. Even when a marriage ends fairly amicably, co-parenting can be difficult, as it requires continued communication that may be painful.

But when one spouse was abusive to another, things get even more complicated. In such a case, healthy co-parenting may seem almost impossible. However, as long as you keep your child’s best interests first and remember that they look up to you as a model of strength and responsibility, you’ll find a way to make it work. Just don’t forget to keep yourself safe in the process.

How to Safely Co-Parent With Your Abuser

Advocate for Yourself in Court

Before determining who should have primary custody and working out all the other co-parenting details, the court needs to know exactly what it’s dealing with. In other words, if your ex has been physically or mentally abusive to your child as well as to you, you need to bring it up. Sometimes, abuse victims fear that speaking out about the abuse in court could only worsen the situation. But in reality, the court needs these details to decide on the best course of action.

If the court finds out that your spouse has been abusive towards your child, too, it’s far more likely to place severe limitations on their visitation rights. That, already, is a small victory, as you won’t need to see them quite as often.

We should warn you that speaking out in court may result in your abuser’s anger and retaliation. That’s not a reason not to advocate for yourself, though. But if you feel like your ex could potentially harm you, make sure to file for a restraining order.

Set Clear Boundaries From the Start

Even if you no longer live with them and your contact is minimal, your abuser may still try to manipulate you. They may twist your words, try to turn your child against you, or attempt to present themselves as the victim in the scenario. And while you have to co-parent with them, you certainly don’t have to tolerate any of this. That’s why it’s important to set firm boundaries .

In other words, you need to listen to yourself and decide how much you can take. How many hours of communication can you tolerate? What communication methods are acceptable? What can your abuser talk to your child about, and what’s off-limits? All these questions may be difficult to answer, but you need to do it as quickly as possible and clearly set these boundaries from the start.

Have a Definitive Custody Schedule

When outlining your custody schedule — the time your child will spend with you and with their other parent — be as precise as possible. This custody schedule should reflect the desires of both parents as much as possible, but it should leave no room for discussion. Abusers frequently use ambiguity to overstep the boundaries by claiming there was a miscommunication or misunderstanding.

For example, the court might determine your child should spend Christmas Eve with one parent and Christmas Day with another. If there are no clear pick-up and return times, though, your ex could keep your child longer and infringe on your rights. Even worse, they could use this ambiguity to control you through your child. To avoid that, make a detailed schedule right off the bat and get a court order to enforce it if you have to.

Meet Only in Safe Locations

If you have to meet your abuser — for example, during pick-ups and drop-offs — make sure to do so somewhere safe. The location should be as neutral as possible and preferably a public space. In other words, don’t go to your ex’s house and don’t allow them to come to yours. Instead, your child’s school or daycare could be a convenient location.

And if you feel uncomfortable meeting your ex alone, even in a public place, bring someone along for support. That person will certainly relieve some of the tension and ensure no harm comes your way.

Report Any Breaches

Your abusive ex might try to breach the custody schedule or the separation agreement. For instance, they may constantly be late when picking up and dropping off your child, or they may schedule activities during your custody time. They could even go so far as to keep the child overnight despite the prohibition. These breaches constantly happen and give you every right to report them.

And that’s exactly what you should do. Even if the situation may not seem particularly serious, you can’t allow your abuser to start overstepping boundaries with no repercussions. Instead, remain calm and contact your attorney. They will send a letter to your ex, reminding them of the agreement and their responsibilities. If that doesn’t work, you can take it further — even file a motion for contempt .

What you shouldn’t do is confront your abuser directly. That opens the door to more abuse, and you absolutely shouldn’t expose yourself to that.

In Conclusion

Co-parenting with your abusive ex is extremely challenging and requires patience, strength, and perseverance. Your abuser won’t make it easy for you, but remember that you don’t have to be alone in this. Ask for help and support when you need it, and someone will certainly answer. And don’t forget to put your safety first, set firm boundaries, and stick up for yourself when necessary. That’s the only way to protect yourself while allowing your child to still communicate with their other parent.

When dealing with the complexities of raising a child with an abusive ex-spouse, it is vital to consider the importance of legal support. To effectively navigate the challenges of such a situation, you may want to hire a lawyer for child support claims . An experienced attorney can help ensure that your rights are protected and that your child's best interests are prioritized during the legal process

Changing Login Details During a Divorce: What You Need to Be Aware Of

Tue, 26 Apr 2022 14:41:24 GMT

Updating Passwords and Usernames During a Divorce

If you are married, you most likely share some of your online login details with your spouse. From joint bank accounts and online payment details to profiles on certain social media platforms — sharing passwords usually makes life much easier.

But what happens when you are in the middle of a divorce , trying to move on and start anew? Should you simply change your login details, or is the situation slightly more complicated?

Changing Your Personal Login Details

If you are going through a divorce , your lawyer will advise you to change all of your login details as soon as you can. These include the account details of your personal bank accounts, as well as emails and profiles on social media platforms.

Before you change any of these details, it is essential to change the password to your main email account. Doing so will ensure that your spouse cannot use the email to recover old passwords and utilize them to log in to your other profiles later on.

Although this process might seem draining and complicated, it is indeed necessary. To avoid becoming overwhelmed, try doing it one step at a time. Change your email and credit/debit card details first, and then proceed to other less important accounts.

What About Joint Accounts?

Joint accounts are a trickier matter, so you should never change their login credentials without consulting your lawyer. First and foremost, that is the case for joint bank accounts, as locking your spouse out of something that lawfully belongs to them isn’t a wise idea.

Thus, consult your lawyer before making any decisions. In most cases, you will be allowed to change any passwords to shared socials by making a deal with your spouse. However, the details for joint bank accounts will most likely have to remain the same until the divorce is finalized.

Do You Always Have to Change Your Login Details?

In some cases, spouses do not share login details at all. However, changing your passwords is a wise idea even in such a situation, as maintaining your privacy is of the utmost importance. You should especially do that if the divorce is not amicable and you know that your spouse has a habit of spying .

If you want to go a step further, you can also change the privacy settings on your social media profiles. Nowadays, most platforms give you the option to keep your profile hidden from those who do not follow you. Therefore, your spouse will neither have access to your passwords nor will they be able to see your posts.

Do You Always Have to Change Your Login Details?

When it comes to a divorce, speaking with a divorce lawyer can help you go through the process as painlessly as possible. However, it is especially important to have legal help if you believe that your spouse is accessing your accounts without authorization. In such cases, legal help is essential for protecting your privacy, rights, and interests.

Insurance Coverage for Former Spouses

Mon, 28 Feb 2022 14:46:43 GMT

A Quick Guide on Insurance Coverage During Divorce

It's not uncommon for people, especially women, to remain without healthcare coverage after a divorce .

The University of Michigan conducted research in 2012 and discovered that around 115,000 women are left without private healthcare insurance because of divorce each year. Moreover, 65,000 women remain uninsured for months or years on end. Also, six months following a divorce, one-quarter of women who previously relied on their partners' policies usually still don't have any coverage.

Another shocking fact is that even women who, thanks to their jobs, have their own healthcare insurance might not be able to afford it any longer upon divorce. Statistics show that 11% of women in such situations lose their coverage.

This University of Michigan research looked at women aged 26 to 64 who went through a divorce between 1996 and 2007. It was discovered that women aged 50 to 64 and moderate-income women are most vulnerable to losing their healthcare coverage.

The research didn't analyze the way divorce affects men's healthcare coverage. Still, the author said that men are less likely to use wives' insurance policies. That’s why they also generally suffer fewer negative economic consequences in case of a divorce.

That being said, several factors will decide whether an ex-spouse will have health insurance post-divorce. Some of them include state and federal law, as well as parties' final agreement.

Insurance Coverage for Ex-Spouses

Numerous firms offer healthcare coverage to spouses. However, coverage for ex-spouses is only covered in certain cases and usually at a high cost.

Thanks to COBRA (the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act), federal law states that an ex-spouse has a right to petition for ongoing healthcare. However, that only applies if the other spouse's company employs a minimum of 20 people. Also, such coverage pays the full premium as well as a surcharge, for a total of 102 percent of the group rate. That is an amount that many individuals find too expensive.

After a divorce, an ex-spouse has sixty days to ask for COBRA insurance. It’s important to know that this insurance will last up to three years.

On the other hand, if a firm employs less than 20 people, an ex-spouse can apply for North Carolina's "mini-COBRA" law . This law secures healthcare for an additional eighteen months (instead of three years, as is the case with the COBRA plan). Furthermore, the state statute only covers major medical, surgical, and hospital insurance, but not vision or dental coverage.

When COBRA or mini-COBRA rule expires, it is up to an ex-spouse to acquire new healthcare. Nevertheless, if an ex-spouse suffers an injury or develops a chronic condition (like diabetes) under the COBRA coverage, they might have difficulty finding another insurer.

But since January 1, 2014, insurance companies are not allowed to discriminate against applicants or charge them higher premiums based on pre-existing medical issues. That is because of the PPACA (Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act), otherwise known as "Obamacare" or ACA (the Affordable Care Act). So, under ACA, more individuals will have access to Medicaid and government funds to help pay for healthcare.

There's also another option to consider. Those who previously used an ex-spouse's insurance policy can enroll in their current company's healthcare plan. Meaning, if someone loses access to another healthcare coverage, the national law lets them join the employer's plan right away. They are not supposed to wait for the proper open enrollment period.

Self-employed ex-spouses may be able to secure group insurance prices even if their business is small.

Ex-Spouses of Federal Civil Servants

Some ex-spouses of current and former Federal workers might be eligible to join in a health benefits plan of the FEHB (Federal Employees Health Benefits) Program thanks to the 1984 Civil Service Retirement Spouse Equity Act .

This plan applies if an ex-spouse:

Divorces a Federal employee or a former Federal employee who is receiving an annuity, while that Federal employee is working in the Federal government or receiving the annuity;
Was included in the health plan as a family member under FEHD for a minimum of one day in the 18 months prior to divorce;
Has the right to an ex-spouse survivor annuity or a part of the Federal worker's annuity;
Hasn't remarried before the age of 55.

Ex-spouses have to pay the entire FEHB premium. That means they need to pay for both the government and employee parts of the premium cost.

Other Federal Government Programs

Persons with low income who are not able to afford private healthcare might apply for Medicaid .

Individuals who can not use COBRA or company-sponsored healthcare might be able to get the Pre-existing Condition Insurance Plan (PCIP) powered by ACA. To apply, a person needs to have been without healthcare for a minimum of half a year and have a health condition that prevents them from getting private insurance. In North Carolina, PCIP charges are between $144 and $575 a month, depending on the applicant's age.

Settlement Agreements and Healthcare for Ex-Spouses

A settlement agreement can include healthcare coverage for an ex-spouse. It would be best for ex-spouses to inform themselves about the expenses of continuing insurance under COBRA and other private insurers. They should also factor in premiums, out-of-pocket medical costs, deductibles, and co-payments.

Under a settlement agreement, an ex-spouse may have an obligation to fund the partner's healthcare costs. Such commitment may last for the rest of the ex-spouse's life or only for a fixed time. For instance, a spouse may pay for the other's expenditures until they find employment with health coverage.

But the new company may demand a waiting time, often between 30 and 60 days before they grant coverage. So, the ex-spouse should also cover this period.

In some instances, an ex-spouse feels uncertain if the other party will be able to pay monthly insurance premiums. In such a situation, they are allowed to ask that the settlement include a lump amount to cover potential healthcare coverage costs.

Healthcare Coverage In Case of Separation

Insurance coverage can be quite expensive, particularly if one spouse has a severe medical issue. That’s why some couples choose legal separation over divorce . Some insurance companies offer spousal coverage to separated couples, while others don't. As a result, couples facing divorce should take time to consider if continuing healthcare is really a possibility.

Couples must notify health insurers about divorce (or separation that ends coverage eligibility) within a specific time frame. If they fail to do so, it may be deemed insurance fraud.

Children's Health Insurance

Establishing who will be in charge of paying for children's healthcare is a common aspect of the settlement procedure. Parents have an option to ensure the children are insured using a parent's job group plan. Or they can agree that one of them will seek private insurance. Both parties should also discuss whether one parent will take care of the entire expense or if they will split the expenditure proportionally to their salaries.

In case both caregivers have group insurance policies, one plan can become "primary" and the other "secondary." The secondary insurance may cover the majority, if not all, of the expenses that the first plan does not. Healthcare providers can assist parents in determining which policy they could use as primary and which should be secondary. They can also explain the process behind addressing claims covered by both policies.

Aside from healthcare premiums, parents should also consider out-of-pocket medical costs, deductibles, and co-payments for their offspring. Also, if their child has a pre-existing medical condition, it is vital to avoid switching plans if at all feasible.

However, even if ex-spouses have agreed on who will take care of some expenses, it doesn't mean they will follow through. That's why parents have an option of engaging in a written contract with their children's doctor's office. Such legal document specifies who pays for certain charges.

For instance, the parents might share the costs 50/50 or 75/25. The billing department at the doctor's office then charges each parent individually. So, ideally, if one parent refuses to pay, it will not affect the other parent.

Courts in North Carolina have the right to require parents to cover healthcare expenditures as a kind of child support . Hospital, dental, and medical costs are all included. According to North Carolina law, the court will direct a parent to provide healthcare insurance (as well as dental) if it is attainable at a fair cost. Employer-provided or other group insurance prices are considered "fair."

Title IV-D Healthcare Insurance for Children

A federal program we call Title IV-D offers parenting and support services. It applies to families that receive Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF). Families who have received such help may continue to receive Title IV-D services, while others can enlist voluntarily.

Both federal and state statutes compel employers of non-custodial parents who are subject to court orders to furnish healthcare insurance for child support orders under Title IV-D. A company has to take the amount of the child's health insurance expenditures from the non-custodial parent's salary. Then they transfer it straight to the company's insurer to pay for the child's coverage. Companies that refuse to follow through will face fines under the legislation.

Final Thoughts

It would be best for partners facing a divorce to inquire about their healthcare options and rights as well as their children's. They should also be careful to do the proper legwork to find the best insurance option available. If one ex-spouse doesn't act proactive and explore their choices before the divorce, they might have to pay a sum they can't afford. Worse yet, they might end up without insurance.

Retirement Plan Division — The Basics

Mon, 31 Jan 2022 20:30:49 GMT

How to Start Building Your Retirement Plan After Divorce

Retirement plans , like all other assets you and your spouse share, undergo a division in a divorce . Simply put, divorce requires all the funds to be split among ex-spouses, which includes bank accounts and pension funds, among others.

We begin by determining if it counts as a property you and your spouse acquired together in marriage.

It depends on the case, but sometimes the entire retirement plan or only a part of it can be taken as separate possessions. For instance, when one party obtains retirement before entering the marriage, it is usually viewed as individual property. So, in that case, it doesn't fall under the allocation.

On the other hand, if a part of a plan is earned in the matrimony, the retirement plan undergoes an evaluation. However, that is more difficult for certain funds than others. For instance, an IRA is not too difficult to value. You only need to check the status on the day of the split. That being said, other funds, like a defined benefit plan or a non-vested pension, might not be so easy to evaluate.

If the situation requires it, you might even need to hire professional help, such as a CPA. They will be able to examine the status of your retirement plan and provide a definite answer.

The last stage of the process is allocation . While it is true that retirement plans are a bit complex, in general, it all depends on the kind of retirement fund. Again, IRAs are pretty simple. To bypass the early withdrawal tax, all you need to do is structure the transfer as a rollover or something of that sort.

But in other plans, you might need to opt for a Qualified Domestic Relations Order . It will help you split the retirement plan without facing penalties.

Ultimately, every plan comes with its own set of rules you must heed in order to bypass tax problems in case of a division.

6 Common Financial Mistakes Made in Divorces

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 14:36:05 GMT

Our Top Tips to Avoid Financial Mistakes While Getting a Divorce

During the course of the marriage, people usually share funds and make financial plans together. But while this is a healthy and convenient marital practice, it can make a separation a tad more complicated. That means that during your divorce , you will have to carefully review your accounts, income, expenses, and every mutual asset and make some important decisions. Although this process will be unpleasant, it is best to approach it seriously since it will have lasting implications.

In many cases, spouses underestimate the gravity of these issues. So, if you are facing this situation now, it would be best to take your time and learn everything you can about your rights and obligations.

Also, it would help if you tried to stay level-headed. Do not let your emotions rule your judgment in this matter. That way, you will be able to make the most reasonable decisions for your future.

To help you out, we have put together a list of the six most common financial mistakes people make in divorce . We also added a few tips on how to avoid them.

However, keep in mind that while this list can help you stay on the right track, it does not replace professional advice. Also, since every situation is unique, some of the information may not relate to your case. So, you will probably need to hire a financial expert to get the best possible results.

Let's get started!

Not Having All the Information About Your Marital Finances

The first step towards reaching the desired outcome is knowing where you and your ex-spouse stand financially. That is why you need to review all your sources of income and expenses. Include salaries, investments, benefit plans, etc., in your assessment.

There are cases when only one partner was in charge of finances during the marriage. That means the other doesn't have as much input on the financial situation. In a divorce , the other partner will be at a huge disadvantage when it comes to settling finances. To avoid this from happening to you, you should take note of all marital assets and request access to statements and reports.

Tip : If you have reasons to think your ex-spouse is hiding assets from you or is not being honest about their status, you should let your divorce team know. Your partner might be doing this to avoid sharing the funds with you. But failing to disclose assets or lying to the court is illegal, and your ex-spouse could suffer consequences.

Not Setting Aside a Separate Account to Help You Go Through the Divorce Process

Although you and your ex-spouse already live separately , divorce can take some time. That can put you in a state of financial insecurity for months on end. For this reason, it would be wise to set aside money to sustain yourself until the divorce settles. That account will also work as your safety net if something goes awry regarding financial negotiations.

For instance, imagine you suddenly lost your job, and your alimony claim is late for some reason. It would be tough to survive without additional funds or sources of income. But if you start saving money on time, you could have a backup sum to get you through the difficult period.

Tip : You should not hide this additional account from reports. Lying about your assets could get you in trouble with the court and increase the tension between you and your ex-spouse. So, be open and honest about why you set it up in the first place.

Thinking That an "Equal" Division Is a Fair Solution

The value of your assets is not limited or defined by their current market worth. Also, some assets, like bonds or rental property, generate income, making them more valuable. For instance, your 401k and your house have different worth, even though you've invested the same amount of money into them.

So, it would be best to take into account the full value your assets will have over time instead of dividing everything "equally" based on current monetary worth.

Tip : Do not forget about hidden expenses, such as associated transactional fees and tax costs, that might come with your assets.

Failing to File a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO)

A QDRO is a legal document that states how you and your ex-spouse decided to share a defined contribution plan , such as a pension plan , 457 plan , 401(k) , or 403(b) . It also directs the company's plan administrator to pay the negotiated portion to the non-employee spouse.

Tip : Since such payments will not go through without a proper QDRO, it's in your best interest to file it, or you might lose some important rights.

Overlooking the Consequences of Tax Liability and Penalties

There are various tax issues to consider concerning your divorce finances, ranging from spousal support to withdrawals from retirement funds. So, you might end up owing taxes on the part of marital assets you get after the divorce. For instance, when you withdraw money from your retirement fund, you will have to pay taxes. There's even a chance you will get some penalties for withdrawing early.

Generally speaking, taxes can be a bit of a complex subject. Therefore, it's in your best interest to talk to a professional about possible tax implications before the property division takes place. For example, you can agree to pay or get a lump sum payout instead of alimony to minimize income tax implications.

Tip : When given a settlement option, take time to calculate the investment's after-tax worth. Although the amount seems high at first glance, you will see the asset's true value and what you will actually get when you deduct the taxes.

Failure to Recognize Your Obligation to Pay Marital Debts

In general, if you accrued debt during your marriage , it is a joint obligation. So, the divorce process includes dividing the liability for marital debts. However, debtors frequently do not follow the terms you and your spouse set. Therefore, if you are not aware of your liability or your ex-spouse doesn't meet his, such unexpected debts can cause more stress and complications.

For example, imagine you and your ex-spouse decide they will be the one to take care of the credit card, but they fail to make payments on time. Collection agencies may pursue you instead, and they will not suddenly pardon you because of your divorce settlement agreement.

Tip : If at all feasible, pay off any marital debts before the divorce is finalized to save stress and lower the likelihood of debtors harassing you later.

Final Thoughts

Divorces are generally messy, and there are many things you need to keep in mind. That is why the whole experience can be overwhelming.

However, to save yourself from future intricacies and stress, you should take the time to prepare yourself. That includes learning all there is to know about marital finances, assessing all aspects of your current situation, and thinking about the future. Although you are going through a situation that is also emotionally taxing, try to keep a cool head.

All in all, to ensure the best possible outcome, try to think logically and hire a financial expert. By doing so, you will avoid many financial mistakes people usually make during a divorce.

Property Division & Taxes: The Basics

Mon, 29 Nov 2021 17:18:22 GMT

Basic Guide on Property Division and Taxes Post Divorce

When a marriage is dissolved, the spouses must distribute all marital assets and property between them. Most asset divisions will not result in a tax event. That is because the IRS devised a provision that allows transfers from one spouse to another that occur following a divorce to complete without taxes. As a result, they can transfer a lump sum settlement from a savings or checking account tax-free. Vehicles, jewels, and additional personal goods are also exempt from taxation.

However, certain marital assets immediately generate tax ramifications, which may be expensive if not managed properly. Retirement accounts, for example, are intentionally created like that. If you withdraw from them early, you will face a significant tax penalty. So, yes, IRS regulation about divorce transfers without tax fees exists. But still, if a divorced spouse withdraws cash from their retirement fund to donate to their ex-spouse, they will surely suffer tax implications.

Spouses must manage retirement accounts with care so they can bypass tax fines when moving an IRA. They need to follow the procedure for transferring or rolling over the money to some other retirement account. Other types of retirement funds are more difficult and need additional actions to avoid tax fees. To guarantee that an eligible workplace account, like a pension or 401K, goes through without taxes, the spouses have to get a Qualified Domestic Relations Order .

Stock option transfers can also be complicated since the IRS regards statutory stock options differently from non-statutory stock options. A spouse can realize a capital gain when they exercise non-statutory stock options. However, that is not the case with statutory stock options.

Parties may simply agree on a financial value for the options once they are exercisable. That way, the non-owning spouse can receive that sum as a lump settlement. The alternative is to put a clause in the court order or divorce agreement stating that the employee-spouse who holds the options shall retain them on behalf of their ex-spouse till they are exercisable.

Putting the marital house up for sale as a result of the divorce might also result in tax complications. The spouses may need to pay capital gains taxes, depending on the circumstances.

The main message is that ex-spouses should know that asset division may be complex and expensive if done incorrectly. To ensure that neither partner has to face taxes, both parties should analyze the tax implications of each transfer and ask a professional if they have any questions.

Am I Eligible for an Annulment?

Fri, 29 Oct 2021 15:28:29 GMT

What is an Annulment and Am I Eligible for One?

Let’s be honest — knowing all about your future spouse is essential for a happy marriage. However, more often than not, people learn new things about their partner only after marriage, and it’s rarely something pleasant. In fact, a spouse might be shocked to find out that the person they married isn’t who they believed him or her to be at all. At other times, the circumstances of the marriage simply as a whole undermine its overall validity.

In any of those situations, the parties may want to request an annulment. And while that might sound simple enough, the laws regarding annulments can seem overwhelming, especially for people without legal experience. Fortunately, we are here to help you understand annulments and how you can take advantage of them.

What Is an Annulment?

An annulment is a way of ending a marriage, similar to a divorce . However, unlike a divorce , where you have to wait a specific amount of time before applying for it, you can request an annulment at any time. But, depending on the timeframe of the marriage, you might need to provide an explanation for the annulment. In other words, the more time you wait after the wedding, the harder it will be to get an annulment.

To void a marriage due to an annulment, a District Court Judge must first issue a court order. Once that happens, the status of the parties changes back as if they were never married. As a result, there are specific criteria that you have to meet before you can request an annulment. It’s also important to note that void marriages resulting from an annulment are not the same as voidable marriages.

How Do I Know If I Am Eligible for an Annulment?

When it comes to annulment eligibility , you have to understand that the length of the marriage is completely irrelevant. As a matter of fact, it doesn’t matter if you have been married for one week or forty years. But, as previously mentioned, there are some requirements you must meet before you are eligible for one. And, while they vary depending on local regulations, the following is applicable to the state of North Carolina.

One of the Parties Is Underage

Legally, if one of the parties is under the age of 16, the marriage is eligible for annulment. However, that doesn’t apply if there is a court order resulting from a pregnancy of someone between the ages of 14 and 16. Additionally, the marriage is no longer eligible for annulment when a child has been born to the couple. But if that child is dead at the time of the request, then the court might accept the annulment.

Marriage Between Family Members

Any marriage between two people who are closer in relation than first cousins is eligible for annulment in North Carolina. For instance, if two siblings, a parent and their child, or two first cousins are married, they can request an annulment.

One of the Parties Is Impotent

If one of the parties is physically impotent at the time of the marriage, then the other partner can apply for an annulment. It’s worth mentioning that the impotence needs to be diagnosed by a doctor beforehand.

One of the Parties Agrees to a Marriage Under a False Pretense

Another important circumstance under which you can request an annulment is that of false pretense . More specifically, if the female partner lies about the presence of pregnancy, then the partner can get an annulment. However, if a child has been born to the couple within 10 months after the date of separation, or if the parties separate within 45 days of the marriage, then an annulment is no longer possible.

One of the Parties Doesn’t Understand What Marriage Means Due to a Lacking Mental Capacity

Sometimes, one of the partners is unable to understand the responsibilities of a marriage due to a lack of mental capacity . When that happens, both parties can request an annulment. But the determination of a spouse’s mental capacity is handled by medical specialists on a case-by-case basis.

Additionally, this reason refers to the mental capacity of a partner at the time of the marriage, not prior or later during the marriage. In other words, you can’t request an annulment if your partner’s mental capacity has degraded as a result of an accident or a health problem.

Where Can I Get an Annulment?

Generally speaking, family law matters are handled by the civil part of the District Court in North Carolina . Therefore, if you want to apply for an annulment, you will have to contact your local Clerk of Court.

However, there are special circumstances you need to consider, so you should first request a consultation with an attorney. Why? Because they will help you understand the prerequisites of an annulment and present different courses of action depending on your specific situation.

What About a Void Marriage?

Even though annulments and void marriages are totally different things, people usually confuse one for the other. As a result, in order to understand annulments, we need to talk about void marriages and what they entail.

While a voidable marriage requires you to obtain an annulment to completely end the marriage, a void marriage doesn’t. In fact, when it comes to void marriages, you don’t even have to request a court order from a District Court because the marriage was never valid. But what marriages are void?

In North Carolina, the only marriage that is considered void by default is a bigamous marriage . But what is that? Simply put, a bigamous marriage refers to a marriage entered by someone who is already married. And since the law clearly states that a person can only be married to one spouse at a time, any subsequent marriage is automatically invalid.

Thus, if you live in North Carolina and are dealing with a bigamous marriage, you don’t have to get an annulment in order to void the marriage. Even so, it may be a good idea to get one anyway to avoid legal and personal confusion later in life. Additionally, by having a court void your bigamous marriage, you avoid issues that may come up. For example, you won’t have to deal with property division or legal problems when marrying again in the future.

Nonetheless, in all other cases, any voidable marriage is not automatically void. And, in order to legally void it, you will have to get a Court Order from your local District Court.

Final Thoughts

Overall, understanding how annulments work is extremely important for anyone looking to enter or is already in a marriage. Not only can annulments help you escape an unfair marriage, but they can also prevent the other party from taking advantage of you. However, the procedure, especially the requirements, can seem a bit complicated for someone who is new to annulments. Luckily, you can always rely on a family law firm to help you protect your rights and aid you in applying for an annulment.

Budgeting for Life After Divorce

Thu, 30 Sep 2021 14:50:58 GMT

How to Create a Budget After a Divorce

While married, you and your spouse probably shared both incomes and expenditures and dealt with budgeting together. But now that you’re planning to get a divorce , things will change drastically. You’ll have two separate budgets, and you’ll be entirely responsible for sustaining your lifestyle on your own. To prepare for that, it’s best to start planning your budget in advance — that way, you won’t struggle in your post-divorce life nearly as much.

Planning your budget on your own is difficult, though. For that reason, we prepared a few tips to help you get started.

Review Your Past Spendings

Before you start divorce negotiations , it’s time to take a look at your spending habits. How much money do you need every month to sustain your current lifestyle? The easiest way to figure that out and plan your future budget is to look at the spending records you collected. Make a list of all expenses you can think of and tally it all up at the end.

You might not think of everything right away, but don’t worry. You can always come back later and add more expenditures if you need to. In fact, an online worksheet or money management software could help you keep track of everything. For example, Intuit’s Quicken might be an excellent choice.

Calculate Your Post-Divorce Income

Once you’ve reviewed your expenses, it’s time to see how you will cover them. The most important thing to do is calculate your post-divorce income for each month. That will include your salary, any sort of side income you have, as well as child support or alimony.

Remember, though — your salary only counts after tax deduction, which is different for married and single people. Be sure to check how your divorce will affect the taxes , as well as how to handle tax exemptions for dependents. You may not be familiar with all the details from the start, but as you move through the process, you need to inform yourself. After all, taxes can significantly impact your available budget.

Once you and your spouse calculate your separate post-divorce incomes, it may turn out they’re not enough to cover the expenses. In such a case, you may feel the need to criticize your spouse, but it’s best not to. Instead, focus on your own budget and try to figure out a solution. If there are any expenses you can live without, take them off the list. Also, if possible, consider taking up a side job to earn some extra money — it’s sure to be useful.

Determine How Much You Spend on Your Children

If you have children , things may get a little more complicated. Naturally, both you and your spouse should be responsible for your children’s expenses moving forward. So to determine the child support amount, you need to identify how much you usually spend on their needs.

Aside from education costs, food, or clothes, there are several expenses that you can attribute to your children. For instance, if you drive a family-sized car or live in a larger house because of them, you can ask your spouse to cover some of the costs. Be fair when doing that, though. Your spouse shouldn’t have to pay expenses for a regular car you would drive even if you had no children.

A detailed list of expenses that come with caring for children is extremely useful during negotiations. Both you and your spouse should have one so that you can review it and come to an agreement without conflict. When everything’s clearly on paper, neither party has reason to be suspicious of what the money is actually going towards.

In Conclusion

Preparing a post-divorce budget is by no means easy, but it is a crucial step when separating from your spouse. It gives you a degree of control over the divorce process and helps your cause in negotiations. In fact, if you can, prepare several versions of the budget addressing different possibilities, such as selling your house or living with your children. The more prepared you are, the better.

And remember — even though you’re getting a divorce , you and your spouse should work through this together. It may not be easy, but the whole process will be much smoother if you try to be fair to each other. So avoid saying and doing things that could lead to conflict.

Who Gets the Car in a Divorce?

Mon, 30 Aug 2021 21:01:36 GMT

What Happens to the Family Car During a Divorce in North Carolina

Most divorces are messy, especially when it comes to d ividing marital assets . From household items to cash and even debt, a divorce forces both parties to share everything they earned during their marriage. And while, for example, dividing a home can be difficult, there are many ways to come to an agreement.

But what happens when you are sharing a vehicle with your spouse? Do you simply sell the car and split the money or take turns driving it?

Let’s look at some of the main issues to find out who gets the car in a divorce.

Divorce Settlement

At first glance, splitting the car might seem like an easy job. You can either sell it and share the money or present your case for why you should be the owner. However, there are a lot of things you need to consider when coming to an agreement, such as the car’s value, debt, and creditors.

How Much Is the Car Worth?

At the end of the day, no matter how you want to settle the divorce, you’ll need to find out the car’s value . Luckily, there are many online validation tools that can help you with this. From Kelley Blue Book to Edmunds and others, you can use various tools to accurately determine the value of your vehicle. But keep in mind that the car’s resale value will most likely differ from its loan or trade-in value.

What About Debt?

If the car hasn’t been completely paid off yet, things become a bit more complicated. For starters, debt needs to be taken into consideration when calculating the division of assets and liabilities. Even so, depending on its condition, a car can end up being worth less than the amount owed. In other words, you may actually lose money trying to claim ownership of the vehicle.

Who Pays the Car Loan?

Let’s say that one spouse is the only party listed on the car loan, but the other spouse wants the car. If that happens, you and your partner can solve the problem in a variety of ways. For example, you can pay off the debt and track the money in the overall property distribution . That way, you are free to sell the car and share the cash without fearing any leftover debt. You can also refinance the car in the name of the party that wants to keep it. And if they don’t qualify for a car loan, they can request the help of a sibling or parent.

However, it’s important to understand that you can’t simply remove your name from a loan. In fact, creditors will only release a party from financial liability once the debt has been satisfied. So you will have to come to an agreement with your spouse if you want to give up the car.

What About Insurance and Repairs?

Last but not least, both parties need to deal with car-related expenses such as repairs, upkeep, and insurance. You can either split the costs with your spouse or let the party who wants to keep the car handle everything. But usually, each spouse will need to obtain their own separate car insurance. And if the vehicle is in bad shape as a result of an accident, the party responsible should cover the repairs.

The Conclusion

Overall, it’s hard to decide who gets the car in a divorce , especially since no separation is identical. From the car’s value to the loan and debt, many factors determine who will end up with the car. And if you want to increase your chances, you can always rely on a divorce lawyer .

Defining Your Goals During a Divorce

Sat, 31 Jul 2021 16:57:51 GMT

How to Set Your Goals Before and During a Divorce In North Carolina

If you are thinking about divorce , it would be wise to consider everything you will need in the near future as well as what you'll want in the long term. Moreover, aside from defining your personal wants and needs, it's equally important to research North Carolina laws. This way you can inform yourself about the duties and rights you have when divorcing or separating from your spouse. If you don't have the correct information, you’ll have false or unrealistic expectations of the divorce and your spouse.

In this article, you can learn all the basic information about your options, and how you can avoid certain problems with careful planning. Additionally, you should consult other sources and take the time to define what you need and want. Your goals and needs will help you create a clear picture of what you wish to get from this separation. This article, as well as professional advice, will help you understand how to achieve those goals.

What You Need Now vs. in the Future

Your short-term needs will overlap with your future needs in many cases because they will address the one underlying concern. For instance, one of your desires and needs might be to keep your emotional stability now and in the future.

Your emotional stability is as important to your children as it is to you. But the way you will try and maintain the short-term emotional balance will differ from how you will do the same thing in the future.

Going through a divorce is extremely stressful. So, you might feel like you need the help of a therapist as soon as possible. For example, this can be your short-term goal. In the future, after the worst is over, you might find it helpful to create a new exercise or work routine. This will help you deal with the ongoing stress.

In any case, you will be planning for your future. Only some decisions will be in regard to the immediate future, and others the long-term future.

The same applies to all the concerns you recognize as important. Using the right tools, you can develop clear ideas about how to address those concerns now and over the next couple of years.

But you might feel like you need help identifying all your needs and setting short- and long-term objectives. If that is the case, feel free to consult books , websites, talk to friends and professionals. All those sources can give you new ideas and help you deal with the situation.

Try to Remain Calm and Open-Minded

During the initial phases of the divorce, you will probably have powerful negative feelings regarding your spouse. You might even want to punish them for everything you are going through.

However, in those moments, try reminding yourself that such feelings can do more damage to you than your spouse. Moreover, they will most likely ruin any chance of settlement. So, you’ll end up in a court battle that’ll not only scar you emotionally but drain your finances as well.

How You Can Achieve Your Goals

To deal with the issues that will inevitably arise following the separation or divorce, you and your spouse can choose between the three following methods: direct negotiation, attorney negotiation, or judicial proceedings. You can also combine these three methods during any step of the separation process. Basically, it will all depend on how well you and your spouse can cooperate and reach an agreement. Therefore, you will use a particular method or some combination of the three, based on the quality of your communication.

Let's review the three methods so you can have a clear picture of your options.

Direct Negotiations

The first basic method to resolve problems that come up during a divorce is direct negotiations. This option is the first on the list because it's the easiest. Also, it implies that you and your spouse are feeling comfortable enough to agree on things and talk directly. So, direct negotiations can take place with or without the background assistance of your lawyers or professional counselors.

However, if you and your partner agree on direct negotiations, it would be wise to write down everything you decide in a formal contract. Together you can create your own draft of provisions for a " Separation Agreement and Property Settlement ." If you are struggling to phrase your thoughts and decisions, you can always check law books in your local library. You can borrow provisions from sample agreements you’ll find there.

Potential Problems You Should Be Aware Of

Direct negotiations are a great option if your marriage was not very long and there are no complicated issues such as financial problems, difficult property, or a child involved. However, this method is not advisable if you are dealing with complex custody, support, and property disagreements. So, if your marriage was a long one, or if there are difficult issues, drafting your own contract isn’t wise. It will probably create even more problems in the future.

In the case of a complicated divorce or separation, things tend to take a turn for the worse in the future. Some of the problems you might face are:

The other party is not complying with the terms of the contract; maybe because they have a different understanding of what a specific provision meant or because they don't really know what some requirements mean
Disagreements over some problems that you never even thought about writing down in a contract; for example, whether your partner should talk on the phone with your child or who will cover the transportation expenses for visits.
Increased tension and conflicts over the ways the contract should be interpreted and implemented
The childre n might experience even worse distress if the parents are arguing over the settlement agreement

All in all, DIY drafting that wasn’t done properly might leave gaps that can make the situation difficult for everyone. Therefore, it can never replace a contract created by professionals. Only an experienced professional can take into account all the legal details and foresee potential issues and subtleties involved in such a complex family situation.

Attorney Negotiation

The second way to deal with domestic relation issues is through the negotiations done primarily through divorce lawyers. Basically, you let the lawyers fight for your rights and wants. In the end, you and your partner get a written document with all the agreements regarding the support, custody, and property. This contract with the name of " Separation Agreement and Property Settlement " is binding in most cases.

Usually, one party's lawyer proposes the contract, and the other party's lawyer drafts a number of revisions. In some cases, this agreement or some of its parts might appear in a court document called a " Consent Order ." The Consent Order is then included in a court file, and you get to skip the long evidentiary hearing.

Judicial Proceedings

Judicial proceedings are the first option people think of when dealing with conflicts during a divorce. However, it is the method that we use the least. If you need to resort to judicial proceedings, it means that the applicable problems, such as support, custody, or property, will be litigated in a state court.

In North Carolina, spouses don't have the right to a jury trial. But there's an exception when there's an alimony issue and one or both parties have committed a marital fault. After a trial is over, a judge makes a formal decision about how things will go on in the future between your spouse, you, and your children. Moreover, this ruling will come in the form of a court order.

Final Thoughts

Our main goal is to help you resolve some of your matrimonial issues and prevent them from destroying your life and leaving you devastated. If you focus too much on relieving your anger and grief by getting back at your spouse, in the long term you will do much more damage to yourself and your finances. On the other hand, if you manage to remain calm and carefully plan your future, you will create the life you need and deserve. In short, you will plan the best possible divorce.

How to Divide a Business During a Divorce

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 17:56:29 GMT

Three Methods to Keep in Mind as a Business Owner
Going Through a Divorce

With a breakdown of marriage comes dividing all the property belonging to (now former) spouses. For this, we use a process called Equitable Distribution . A court sifts through property owned by the couple, classifying it as separate or marital, and then evaluating it. Once those factors are settled, the property is divided between the couple.

Sometimes, distributing certain property is practically effortless, as it’s known what belongs to each spouse personally. In the case of cars and other vehicles, for example, each spouse can keep their own, making the whole process that much easier.

However, the same cannot be said for the marital residence, for instance. Both spouses lived there and provided for it, so naturally, it should be distributed carefully. Most of the time, this entails selling the property and splitting the proceeds. Should a spouse want to keep the house, however, they would have to buy out their former spouse’s part.

The plot thickens if there are some types of property that cannot be evaluated or distributed so easily. Such is the case with businesses, in which both spouses may have an ownership interest. They may have different ideas as to what to do with the business. Because of that, there are three common ways to distribute a couple’s business interest in a divorce.

Buying Out the Business

If one of the spouses wants to continue the business, they would most commonly try to buy out the other’s part.

For instance, if a couple (let’s call them Samantha and George) jointly runs a cake shop, there’s a chance that one of them (Samantha) may decide they want to continue working there. In contrast, George is looking for a clean slate and wants to move to another state for a new job or business venture.

After evaluating the shop at $500,000, both spouses know that each has a $250,000 interest in the business. Therefore, if Samantha wants to continue it, she has to pay George half of the shop’s value. She would have to provide those $250,000 to essentially acquire his half.

Of course, this solution only works if the person who wants to buy the other one out has enough funds to cover the costs. If they have the money, they can simply transfer the lump sum to the other spouse’s account.

The spouses may opt for a structured buyout as well. In that case, the total amount would be split into a few payments that would be paid at specified times. For example, Samantha and George may agree on her paying him $150,000 this year and another $100,000 next year.

Samantha also has a few other options in case she doesn’t have enough cash right now. She can also:

Liquidate some other assets to cover the costs of the buyout, such as her 401K or IRA. However, she must mind the tax implications of withdrawing the money early.
Offer another asset of comparable value, like the couple’s marital home, any secondary dwellings like vacation homes, and similar.

Staying On as Co-Owners

In an amicable divorce where each party wants to keep their ownership interest, the spouses may decide not to distribute the business but continue running it jointly. If Samantha and George want to continue working at the cake shop, this may be the easiest solution. Provided they can nurture a respectful working environment, their business may proceed to flourish despite their divorce.

Another option is that both stay on as co-owners, with one spouse running the business while the other receives payments from future proceeds. This would cover the other spouse’s share of marital assets.

A potential issue, in that case, is that the business may stop turning profit. Another problem is that a productive working relationship after a divorce can be a challenge to uphold. Complete trust and respect given by both amicable former spouses are a necessity for co-ownership.

Selling the Business

The two methods mentioned above may suit some couples, especially if one or both have a particular interest in continuing the business. However, if they do not agree on either of the two methods, the last resort for ensuring both are compensated is to sell the business.

Usually, couples in the midst of a divorce may decide to do this with other types of property too. If neither wants to keep their marital home, the soundest decision is to sell it and split the proceeds. They can do the same with their joint business if they don’t desire to work together or continue it at all.

Nevertheless, there may be some issues here as well. If the business in question isn’t so successful or is rather obscure, it may take a while for them to find a suitable buyer. Another problem is if the spouses don’t agree on the business’ value.

The couple should also consider how smart it would be to sell the business right now. Due to market fluctuations, the value of the business may significantly go up or down.

Selling it in an economic downturn isn’t likely to leave either party satisfied. On the other hand, if they were to wait for a better economic climate, they’d have to continue running it as co-owners. This, of course, may also take a while. They would have to wait for the business’ marketability to improve enough to satisfy both of them.

In Conclusion

As you can see, a fair distribution of assets , especially businesses, isn’t impossible at all. Evidently, if both parties are looking to continue the business and are amicable with each other, a co-ownership seems to be the ideal solution. However, if the divorce turns sour or neither wants to keep the business, selling it is the most reasonable choice.

Naturally, in some cases, buying out the other spouse’s half is an option too. It would allow the person interested in running the business to continue doing so with no strings attached. Nevertheless, each method has its pros and cons that must be considered carefully before distributing the business between the spouses.

Tips on Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer for the First Time

Thu, 03 Jun 2021 13:01:13 GMT

What to Expect When Meeting with a Divorce Lawyer

Choosing, hiring, and meeting up with a divorce lawyer are some of the most important parts of the divorce process. However, it can all get a bit overwhelming if you don’t know what to expect from it all. If you will be meeting up with your divorce lawyer soon and wish to understand how it’s all going to go, read on. You will find useful information below.

Finding a Divorce Lawyer

Firstly, it is crucial to choose an lawyer suited to your case, i.e. one that usually handles divorces. Family law is a rather specialized area, and you should look for someone who has at least a few years of experience in it.

Your very first contact with the lawyer will most probably be over the phone. It is vital that you understand that you cannot really ask them any specific questions about your case at this point. After all, you have not yet hired them, and they don’t know any details about your marriage.

At this stage, you just look at whether you like the lawyer’s demeanor and whether you think you could work well together. If you do, you can ask for an in-person meeting. That is where you can actually present some aspects of the case to them and ask for advice.

Lawyer can either hold these meetings for free, or they may charge an hourly rate. It depends from lawyer to lawyer.

It’s Important to Come Prepared

During your first meeting , your divorce lawyer will have to ask you a lot of questions. These questions range from basic ones, such as the duration of your marriage, to complex ones like reviewing your properties or any debts. Thus, it is vital that you come prepared and have a ready answer for them.

In addition, the first meeting is a great chance to ask any questions you may have about the process. Your lawyer will have a lot of experience, and they will know how to make you feel at ease as you discuss everything. You can bring any documents you think are essential for the case and go over them.

Try to relax as much as possible. Don’t think of this meeting as anything too scary, but rather as an interview to check whether you and the lawyer can work together successfully.

Something that can help put you at ease even further is the fact that the meeting is entirely confidential. So, even if you don’t hire the lawyer, all your info will not leave the room it was discussed in. All of that is due to the lawyer-client privilege, which mandates that the lawyer keep your information safe and a secret.

What You Will Discuss In the Meeting

As we have already mentioned, this meeting is a chance for your lawyer to get acquainted with your case. The questions they will ask will mostly depend on how far along in the process you are.

For example, some people are ready to file for divorce immediately. Such a decision means that they begin discussing legal proceedings and their prospects immediately. On the other hand, some are unsure whether divorce is the right choice and just need advice.

A third option is that your spouse has already filed for divorce, and you want to know what comes next. Either way, you should be ready to discuss different aspects of your marriage in the meeting so that the lawyer can learn everything they need.

You will talk about any children you may have, all properties you and your spouse own, and how you wish to divide it. It's important to remember that an lawyer can only give you legal advice. They will look at the case objectively and offer you an unbiased account of it.

Still, all the major decisions will be up to you. You should consider all the advice and make the best choice for yourself.

As you leave the meeting, you should feel like the divorce lawyer understands your case and your wishes fully. If they are willing to listen to you, answer all your questions carefully and patiently, and want a positive outcome for you, you should hire them. If not, you have to keep looking.

Final Thoughts

The first meeting with your divorce lawyer can be stressful. However, if you come prepared and are open with them, the meeting can only be successful.

Remember that you can always opt not to hire someone if they do not fit your needs and expectations. After all, a divorce lawyer should make the entire process easier, not more stressful and complicated.

Splitting a North Carolina State Employee’s Retirement Account

Mon, 10 May 2021 12:26:18 GMT

How to Divide a Retirement Account Post Divorce

Upon a divorce , every retirement account is divided differently, following specific rules. For example, the regulations and steps one would apply for dividing a traditional IRA differ from those for a Roth IRA . Furthermore, they are both significantly different from a solo-401(k) or a retirement account of a state employee .

The latter, i.e., an account governed by the Department of State Treasurer , is one whose division requires attention to some rather unique rules. We’ll dive into them below.

You Need a Domestic Relations Order (DRO)

A Domestic Relations Order (a DRO) is one of the most important requirements for dividing a state employee’s retirement account.

What Is a DRO?

Retirement plans subject to the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) can be divided through a Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO). However, federal or state retirement plans aren’t subject to this act at all. Thus, a QDRO is not a suitable form for these plans. What they need is a unique form: a DRO.

A DRO is a form made according to state domestic relations law. It relates to child support , alimony , and marital property rights upon divorce . It is a necessary form for the division of all non-ERISA retirement plans .

ERISA vs. Non-ERISA Plans

The difference in forms that ERISA and non-ERISA plans require is not the only thing that separates the plans. Namely, the biggest distinction between them is the plan owner’s right to change particular items in the plan.

If someone with an ERISA plan wants to, for example, change the beneficiary listed on their plan, they cannot do so without a waiver from their spouse. This waiver would confirm that the spouse gives up their right to any potential benefits after the beneficiary change. Only after they sign this can any changes be made.

Non-ERISA plans, on the other hand, require no such waivers. A state or federal employee can change their plan however and whenever they want. They do not need any input or approval from their spouses.

Which Plans Require a DRO?

Any person that acquired their pension through employment with a state or federal agency needs a DRO. The two most common plans on this list are those for teachers and local government employees.

The two plans mentioned above are the so-called defined benefits plans. Participation in them is mandatory for all employees that qualify. However, even those who have a defined contribution plan instead need a DRO.

Defined Benefit vs. Defined Contribution Plans

The biggest difference between the two types of plans is connected to divorce. Namely, defined contribution plans can be divided upon divorce at any time. So, it does not matter whether the person with the plan has retired yet or not. You and your spouse can divide the benefits immediately upon signing the divorce papers.

Defined benefit plans are quite different. If your spouse has this retirement plan and you divorce them, you will not be able to receive your marital share until they officially retire. Thus, you cannot enjoy any of the benefits until your spouse begins receiving them, too.

Another difference between the plans is how they can be paid upon a divorce. A defined contributions plan can be divided into periodic payments or paid in a lump sum. A defined benefits plan, conversely, can only be paid through a stated percentage or dollar amount every month.

Who Can Draft a DRO?

Generally speaking, you can draft a DRO by yourself. My NC Retirement even provides you with some samples you can use in the process.

However, most experts advise that having an attorney help you draft a DRO is the best option. They have experience in the matter and know all the little tricks necessary to make a successful form. If you still wish to do it on your own, having a lawyer at least review your work before filing the form is a good idea.

Where Do You Send a DRO?

You should send a DRO to the court, as they are the ones who are ultimately responsible for submitting it to the Retirement Services Division (RSD). They can do that after a judge signs off on the form. However, before sending the document to a judge, you should send a draft to the RSD. Once they approve it, you can reach out to the court and send the form as explained above.

This intermediate step between drafting the DRO and sending it to a judge is necessary to correct any potential errors in the form. The RSD will pick up on any language that might need fixing or any terms that need changing for your DRO to go through.

Submitting a draft first can save you a lot of time and money, as the RSD can reject a form with any errors, no matter how small. Consult with them before involving a judge and the court, and you’ll be safe.

What Information Does a DRO Include?

We will start with the basics. Like any other official court document, a DRO has to include the name of your state and county, as well as the court which is handling your case.

Furthermore, you have to put the file number and the names of the defendant and the plaintiff. This information goes into the caption at the very beginning of the document. Then, you need to write the name and surname of the judge, the correct date, and all the relevant findings of fact.

These findings have to include the date of your marriage and separation, as well as that the parties have agreed to equitable distribution. Following this data, the DRO should say which retirement system the relevant spouse belongs to. This section should conclude with the exact sum of money a spouse will receive upon retiring and how those funds should be distributed.

Then, the actual order begins, including the amount of money each party will get after the state employee retires. This part should also include what would happen if the state employee dies before retiring. The DRO should conclude with the date and the judge’s signature.

Though this order might appear confusing, this form is actually one of the simplest ones out there. If you check out some of the samples available online, you’ll see it is relatively straightforward.

Final Thoughts

Dividing a state employee’s retirement account requires following a specific set of rules. One of the main ones is filing a successful DRO. We hope this guide helps you learn the basics of the process so you can do even more research and have a stress-free court experience.

Divorce and Taxes Basics

Fri, 26 Mar 2021 13:47:56 GMT

What You Need to Know About Divorce and Taxes

Divorce is a stressful time for all parties involved, burdening them with complicated legal procedures and tons of paperwork. And when you add taxes to the equation, the whole situation becomes that much more arduous. However, given that your tax responsibilities change after getting a divorce, you definitely need to get yourself familiar with them.

And not just that — missteps and oversights can be costly in this case. Therefore, you should be careful and make sure you're not breaking any tax laws. Here are four important things to keep in mind when it comes to divorce and taxes:

Alimony and Child Support

Alimony is the payment one spouse pays the other after divorce. Child support is similar, but the payments are made with the benefit of the child in mind. While only alimony was tax-deductible before, as of 2018, the law has changed. At the moment, neither alimony nor child support are tax-deductible. This law applies to all divorce agreements executed after December 31, 2018.

In other words, payers can no longer request a deduction for their alimony payments. Also, recipients don't have to report it as part of their gross income anymore.

Filing Status

Your filing status can significantly impact your federal income taxes. No matter if you were filing separately or jointly with your spouse, you'll need to abandon your "married" status in case you get a divorce. Then, your options will be either "single" or "head of household".

Filing as "head of household" has numerous advantages over the "single" status:

Lower tax rates
Tax credit eligibility
Higher standard tax deductions

However, acquiring this status is also more difficult and has more strict requirements. For instance, you are only eligible if you have covered at least half of the household costs. In addition, you need to have a dependent that has been living with you for at least six months, i.e. a child or parent.

Given that the child spends more time with them, only the custodial parent is qualified for the "head of household" status. And in the case of shared custody, the parent with the higher gross income usually gets the status.

Property Division

After separation , you and your ex-spouse will also need to figure out what to do with your home. If you decide to sell it, it's best to do so while you still have the "married filing jointly" (MFJ) status . That way, you will get much lower capital gain taxes, which would be sky-high if you sold your home at a profit. Of course, there are other requirements that you need to fulfill, such as living in the house for at least two years before selling, and others.

If you don't take advantage of the MFJ status on time and sell the house after you've divorced, you won't be able to exclude as much in capital gains, which means you'll end up paying more.

Legal Fees

Hiring a divorce lawyer is costly but inevitable in most divorce cases. Unfortunately, fees involved with legal and financial counseling are not tax-deductible. Up until 2017, you could get a deduction for fees relating to business income.

However, the T ax Cuts and Jobs Act has suspended this option until 2026. Therefore, unless you have reason to believe your spouse is deliberately attempting to increase them, don't expect to receive any reductions for your legal fees.

Avoid Court While Going Through a Divorce

Sat, 27 Feb 2021 14:39:06 GMT

How to Avoid Court in a Divorce

Divorce is as stressful as it is painful. In a time when you're emotionally most vulnerable and exhausted, you also have to worry about the custody, property division, and sign a ton of paperwork. That's why the most common first step is usually to call a lawyer. However, while their expert opinion can be helpful, it's definitely not paramount. What's more, going to court to get a divorce is also avoidable, as there are better ways to settle disputes. Keep reading to find out more on this topic.

Are Court Appearances Mandatory?

How much your presence will be needed in court will depend on the state you live in. In some states, you can settle everything out-of-court and simply submit the documentation. Others, however, require at least a quick court appearance.

Still, if you and your spouse resolve all the relevant issues beforehand, the court visit should take only about 15 minutes or so of your time. You'll just need to answer a few of the judge's questions for verification purposes, and that's it.

Talking It Over

In case you and your spouse separated peacefully and are still on good terms, you might want to sit down and have a thorough discussion. Make sure you do your research first and cover all the crucial issues, such as child custody and child support , visitation , property division , etc.

Afterward, you can hire a lawyer to review and finalize the decisions, as well as prepare a Marital Settlement Agreement . Just a reminder — you can't both use the same one, each party has to have its own legal representation.

Mediation

For those that can't seem to come to an agreement or find it all a bit too overwhelming, hiring a mediator might be a suitable option. Essentially, mediators are divorce experts that can help you resolve your issues without going to court.

Firstly, you will need to provide them with the necessary documents and information. Then, you and your spouse will attend regular meetings with the mediator until a mutually beneficial settlement has finally been reached.

There are multiple reasons why mediated divorce is a more preferable option than the contesting one. For one, unlike court proceedings, which can be stiff and exhausting, meetings with the mediator are informal and oftentimes quick and painless. In addition, mediators can be much less expensive than lawyers. Still, you can have your lawyer present in these meetings if that's what you prefer.

Collaboration

The goal of a collaborative divorce is also to reach a final settlement. However, in this case, there is no mediator — only you, your spouse, and your lawyers. The four of you will work together to reach an agreement. If needed, other neutral experts can be brought in to help with the decision-making, such as psychologists, accountants, etc.

Keep in mind that in case you can't resolve your differences and negotiations fail, you'll have to go the traditional divorce route. Most notably, you won't be able to proceed with the same lawyers but rather hire entirely new ones. Aside from bringing about an additional cost, new lawyers will also need to get to know your case in order to represent you in court. Therefore, to avert the unwanted budget and time losses, consider collaborative divorce only if you're 100% sure.

Arbitration

In some states, there also exists an option for divorce arbitration . It's the go-to method for those who just can't seem to come to an agreement. Much like a judge after a trial, an arbitrator or adjudicator makes the final decision.

However, contrasting to the traditional divorce method, arbitration is much less formal. Not only does it allow you to set your own dates and deadlines but also relax the rules of evidence. Thus, with arbitration, you can skip dragging the divorce out for a year, which otherwise wouldn't be possible.

Be that as it may, the arbitrator's decision is final. In other words, you can't file an appeal as you would with a regular court trial.

Why It's Better to Divorce Out-of-Court

Alternative dispute resolution comes with many benefits. For starters, it can end up being much less costly than its traditional counterpart. Most people believe that divorces inevitably involve dramatic legal battles and numerous court visits, which we now know is not the case. It's the lawyer's duty to inform you of all of the available options, not just court trials, which happens to be the most expensive one. If your lawyer keeps forcing the court option, they most likely don't have your and your family's best interests at heart.

Another way in which ADR is preferable to contesting divorce trials is because of its flexibility, in every sense of that word. You get a say in almost everything — you pick the judge, the location, and the timeline.

All in all, by avoiding going to court, you can expect a much more efficient, constructive, and peaceful divorce.

The In's and Out's of Property Division in North Carolina

Sat, 30 Jan 2021 19:34:18 GMT

Basic Guide to Property Division During a Divorce

Any divorce attorney would tell you that property division is a big part of a divorce trial. So, knowing exactly what you should expect out of it is important. In NC, before the court starts dividing any property, they have to do an analysis in three steps. Only after doing so can the process truly begin.

Property Division: A Process in Three Steps

The only property that the court divides is the spouses’ marital property. It includes both assets and debts. After the property division is complete, the court must give clear proof that it was done in a fair and impartial way. But three crucial steps precede any final division.

1. Identification and Classification of Property

The first step the court needs to take is to identify and classify all the parties’ property. They do this based on the proof the parties provide about the nature of their debts and assets.

During the process of identification, the court looks at which party has title claims over which item or asset. It is the first step during which the court determines the interest each party holds in all property. It comes before the classification of said property.

During the classification of property, the court decides which item is separate property, and which is marital. They do this for every item any of the spouses have a claim over. They must support their decisions with apt findings of facts and hard evidence.

Marital Property

Section 50-20(b)(1) of the North Carolina General Statutes holds the definition of marital property. It says that marital property is any property, real and personal, obtained by the spouses from the start of the marriage up until the end. If the parties want to bypass this definition and prove that the property should not be called marital, they need to provide evidence to the court.

Marital estate excludes any property which is deemed as separate property by the court. But it does include all presently owned property.

With respect to time, “presently owned” property is any property either of the spouses has an interest in on the date of the divorce. With respect to right, “presently owned” refers to the basis for claiming title or interest in the property. This basis is realized no matter who owns and holds the rights to the property at the present time or who has an interest in it.

Separate Property

You can find the definition of separate property in section 50-20(b)(2) of the North Carolina General Statutes. It says that separate property is all real and personal property the parties had before the marriage. It also includes any property they got during the marriage by descent, gift, bequest, or devise. Finally, any business and professional licenses that would end or transfer are also separate property.

In theory, any increase in the value of separate property or any income parties get from it are separate property. But it is all a bit more complex than that. It stays separate property if the increase in value or income is due to someone else's effort (e.g., the government's). If one of the spouses is behind the increase, then the item is no longer separate property, but marital. Thus, the spouses will divide it.

The part of the statue on separate property has two special provisos. These provisos deal with marital gifts and property exchange:

Any separate property the parties exchange for other separate property remains separate, no matter who owns it
The property a spouse acquires as a gift is marital property unless stated differently

Put simply, the provisos say that if parties get a property as a gift, it becomes marital property right away. When it comes to separate property, it remains separate during any exchange. Only clear and hard evidence to the contrary can change these provisos.

Property That Is Neither Marital Nor Separate

If you’ve already talked with a divorce attorney , you know that there are items that belong to a gray area. These items are neither marital nor separate. Rather, they are a factor the court needs to look into separately. For example, anything the parties acquired after splitting but before the divorce belongs to this area.

How and when a party acquired property is quite important for its classification. Estate acquisition is a dynamic process of getting equity and it begins when a payment is made. So, no matter when a party becomes the official owner of the property, they get it only after making the first payment. The court decides who gets this kind of property based on the date of the payment.

The spouses equally share the income of a property they got together. But the court decides who gets the income that comes from this kind of gray area property.

Property With Dual Classification

Some property is part marital and part separate. Property can be classified like this in different situations.

Firstly, it occurs when the court attributes the efforts of a spouse who doesn’t own the property to separate property. Secondly, when adding a property the spouses got during marriage to a separate property improved the separate property’s income. And finally, when a spouse who does not own it manages a separate property and thus increases its income.

2. Valuation of Property

Valuation of the estate is the second step you and your divorce attorney will go through during estate division. It is the process of figuring out the net value of the marital property. The net value is thus the value the spouses will divide.

3. Division of Property

The final step in the process of property division is the distribution itself. The Equitable Distribution Act says that the court must divide all property equally. But, the court can decide that doing so would be unfair and choose not to do it.

Courts consider several factors when deciding how to divide property, such as:

The financial prospects of the parties at property division time
Any support duties of the spouses from prior marriages
The age and health of the parties
The length of the marriage
If the party who has custody over any kids needs a property to raise them on
Pension prospects
A spouse’s input in any shared properties
A spouse’s input in the education or career advances of the other spouse
The fund flow of the marital estate
Taxes a spouse needs to pay
Acts to maintain the marital estate after the divorce
Any other factor the judge deems suitable to the case

How Does It Work?

Even though the court gathers most of the evidence, you and your divorce attorney will have to provide some as well. The court will gather proof of title and interest. But if you want to dispute any of those, you will need to provide proof that supports your claim.

If one of the spouses wants to prove that an equal division would not be fair, they need to give reasons why. Once a divorce attorney presents such evidence, the trial court must consider it. Then, a judge makes the final decision after looking at all the facts and hearing both sides.

An important thing to note is that estate division must be separated from the issues of child support and alimony. Thus, alimony and child support are separate issues that require a new hearing.

To Conclude

Property Division in a divorce is a long and complex process. Even if the value and size of the estate are not big, the process can be long and tiring. Thus, hiring a good divorce attorney who has experience is an important step you need to take. Together with the court, they will make sure the division goes smoothly and is fair and equal for all parties.

Wrightsville Beach Magazine Feature!

Tue, 26 Jan 2021 17:29:19 GMT

Did you see our ad in Wrightsville Beach Magazine Feature?

We are so proud and honored that Wrightsville Beach Magazine showcased our ad in this months addition!

Thank you to everyone who made this possible!

Our ad is on page 38 of January's addition of Wrightsville Beach Magazine. Tag us on Facebook if you spotted us!

How to Tell if Your Spouse is Cheating in North Carolina

Tue, 22 Dec 2020 15:57:31 GMT

Steps You Should Take if You Suspect Your Spouse of Cheating

Unfaithfulness is ugly, even in today’s day and age when polyamory in North Carolina (and the rest of the US) is so widespread. After all, while some people might like to keep their options open, others prefer to have individual intimacy. Love is incredibly powerful, and losing that love to cheating can be devastating, especially if you happen to be married to the adulterer. But how can you know if your spouse is cheating on you or just going threw a hard time? Well, you’ll have to do a bit of spousal spying to find out.

Sings Your Spouse is Cheating

Generally speaking, there are common signs that can be easily spotted to tell if your spouse is being unfaithful. Most cheaters, including NC residents, exhibit the same basic behavior and use the similar methods of covering their tracks. In addition, when confronted, they often provide the same, cookie-cutter courtesy responses.

Of course, some individuals will still find it difficult to figure out whether or not their significant other is cheating on them. Even worse, they can assume infidelity and accuse their partner who did nothing wrong. In order to avoid falsely accusing your partner, pay close attention to the potential signs of cheating. These signs can either be verbal cues, behavior changes, body language, and/or the choice of conversational topics. In short, while your partner can hide some of their sign, many can’t hide them all.

With that in mind, here are some common signs of spousal spying :

General (and recent) disinterest in you, your activities, or the events that happened to you
A decrease in romantic activity
A decrease in sexual activity
Sudden, unexplained work schedule changes
The spouse returning home late with little or no real reason behind it
The spouse moving to a different room that you’re not currently in
Suspicious phone activity (odd notifications, the sound turned off, the spouse turning the screen away from you often)
Unexplained recent spending or unpaid bills
Leaving the house late while you sleep
Changes in dressing or grooming habits
Increased frequency of fighting
The spouse avoids talking about their feelings or your life together
The spouse being nervous when you talk about honesty or fidelity in particular
New password protection on their devices
Talking about a new person often

What Should You Do When You Find Out?

Did you notice one or more of those signs of cheating listed above? If so, your next step may be — spousal spying. But how can you go about it and, more importantly, how can you expect to get proper evidence of your spouse’s unfaithfulness?

Personal Investigation

If you’re careful and know where to look, you can find out all sorts of things about your spouse that they might not be telling you. Sure, it might be a tiny detail, like the fact that they’re eating junk food and are embarrassed to admit it. However, use a critical eye when determining if they are indeed being unfaithful.

With that in mind, here are a few things you can do while conducting your own private investigation.

Check Their Devices

It might seem like the simplest method of checking on your spouse. If they’re contacting someone behind your back, just look at their phone, laptop, tablet, etc., right?

Well, with modern technology, that’s easier said than done. For example, your spouse could easily change their password and hide all of their data. Which can raise a red flag, especially if they avoid giving you an explanation. If your spouse allowed you to handle their devices in the past, a quick way of checking for cheating is to check their devices. If you decide to inspect their device pay close attention to their call records, SMS messages, messaging apps, emails, video apps, etc.

Of course, you have to be ready for anything, since your spouse might simply delete all the incriminating evidence. If that happens, simply look for any signs of the frequency with calls, call records, etc. If they were talking to a different person behind your back, that person should frequently appear in one way or another on your partner’s devices.

Observe Their Behavior

Generally speaking, you can sort spousal behavior into two categories:

Behavior toward others
Behavior toward you

When you observe them in a group setting, take a close look at their body language. Are they handsy with a coworker or friend? Do they use professional, amicable, or downright suggestive language when they’re talking to others? Do their pupils dilate when they chat with a specific individual? How do they look when they talk to that person, do they appear happier than usual or not? Do they talk about that one person more often?

Of course, that behavior, in and of itself, might just be regular pleasantries. However, make sure to also note your spouse’s behavior when they are alone in the room with you. Do they avoid talking about their day, their problems, or their feelings? Are they avoiding you through subtle means, like going to the bathroom one too many times or suddenly having to excuse themselves for various reasons? Are they distant, cold, a bit antagonistic, or even downright hostile?

A combination of those types of behavior will usually be a strong sign that they have lost interest in you and/or may be cheating.

Observe Your Surroundings

Keep an eye out for any unusual or different behavior your spouse may be exhibiting. Your spouse might come home one day with an expensive-looking present and tell you that it’s for a friend. In addition, you might notice that the money you have in your joint bank account is slowly draining. Also, the partner might begin to groom and dress in a different way — the husband starts to shave for the first time in months, the wife's style changes for the first time in years. Maybe there’s a scent of perfume or cologne on them that wasn’t there before, that neither one of you owns.

Most of the time, people who cheat tend to cover their tracks. However, with so many different variables, it’s only a matter of time before they something is brought to light. Before that time comes, you must stay vigilant and pay close attention to everything, including the smallest of details.

Hiring a Private Investigator

Breaking into your spouse’s personal data, including phone calls and instant messages, may placate your desire to see if they are cheating. However, even if your spouse is cheating, going threw someone's personal property is not the most legal of methods.

Luckily, a legal way to do spousal spying does exist, and it involves hiring a Private Investigator (PI). With years of experience, PIs in North Carolina can track your partner’s every move and figure out the necessary patterns. Of course, before you hire a PI, consult a divorce attorney on whether or not it’s even worth it. For example, you might get some peace of mind when you break up with your cheating partner, but you might not be properly compensated by the law. In fact, it might even cost you huge sums of money just to get your life back to normal after the ordeal.

A private investigator can do a lot when it comes to observing your partner. For instance, an average NC-based PI might:

Snap pictures of your spouse around town
Follow their every move
Install surveillance equipment that they won’t spot
Keep tabs on their car by installing a secret GPS system
Run a background check on your spouse’s friends and contacts

Final Thoughts on the Ethics of Spousal Spying

As you can see, spousal spying isn’t easy, and figuring out whether or not they might be cheating on you requires a lot of time and effort. Naturally, the question about how ethical this whole practice really is remains. After all, you’re invading someone else’s privacy.

Nearly everyone, including people who do the spying, agrees that there is no legal justification for checking up on your spouse. However, you’re not technically trying to harm a stranger, but are simply investigating the person who promised to stay with you till death do you part.

Ultimately, it’s a complicated query to answer. The best way to go about spousal spying in North Carolina is to either contact a divorce attorney or private investigator. Remember, while questioning your spouses faithfulness, treat them with the same respect with which you'd want them, or anyone, to treat you.

Splitting a North Carolina State Employee’s Retirement Account

Wed, 16 Dec 2020 19:41:48 GMT

Understanding How Your Retirement Account can be Affected by Divorce

Dividing the retirement account of a North Carolina state employee between spouses who are divorcing can be a bit complicated. Depending on the specific nature of the account in question, there are procedures and rules that must be followed. Military retirement accounts, pensions, or 401(k), for example, are quite different to split in contrast to 403(b), Roth IRA, or traditional accounts. Needless to say, the help of a

divorce attorney is highly recommended when going through such a procedure. In this article, we will take a look at the specifics we must consider when dividing a North Carolina state employee retirement account. Paying special attention to the specific rules for each account type will guarantee a smooth process without any needless stress and problems.

Domestic Relations Order (DRO)

No matter the type of state retirement account that needs to be split, a Domestic Relations Order , or DRO for short, is needed. This document differs from the Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) which is needed for qualified employer plans that fall under the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA) . Federal and state retirement plans are not covered by ERISA, so a QDRO is not relevant when it comes to dividing a state employee’s retirement plan in case of divorce. The above point is important because ERISA and non-ERISA covered plans are quite different when it comes to changing the beneficiary. In order to change the beneficiary to your ERISA-covered retirement account, your spouse will have to waive their right to the benefits for the change to get approved. The same does not apply for state employee retirement accounts, since they are not covered by ERISA. You can freely switch the beneficiary of such an account — as long as there is no DRO in play.

When Is a DRO Required?

A DRO is required for each and every public retirement plan awarded for working at a state agency. For example, two of the standard plans that need a DRO are the Local Governmental Employees Retirement System (LGERS) and the Teachers and State Employee’s Retirement System (TSERS). Both of those plans qualify as having a defined benefit, meaning that you will be required to participate in them. If your plan is of the “defined contribution” variety, in which participation is optional, you might also be required to have a DRO in order to divide it in case of divorce. There is one major difference between defined benefit and defined contribution plans when it comes to dividing due to divorce. With defined contribution, you can make the split at any time. As for defined benefit, payments cannot be made until the owner of the plan goes into retirement. To translate it into layman's terms, if you are on a defined benefit plan, your ex-spouse will not be able to receive any payments from it until you retire.

One other thing you should keep in mind on the topic is the way in which the money is eventually paid. With defined contribution, the money comes either in recurring payments or as a single payment. With defined benefit, you will receive either a fixed amount or percentage each month. It is important to point out that the sum the non-state employed spouse receives from a state plan is not allowed to be larger than what the state employed spouse gets.

What Does a DRO Include?

How Is a DRO Created?

A DRO is an official document, so it needs to include all standard information required for such filings. Here is a checklist of what needs to appear at the beginning of each DRO:

The plaintiff’s name
Name of defendant
File number
Name of the court
State and county
The judge’s name
Date

As with any legal document, the DRO also needs to include all relevant findings of fact. For a divorce filing , those include date of separation, date of marriage, and information on the spouse’s retirement plan. There should also be an acknowledgment that Equitable Distribution is settled by both spouses, either by the court system or by mutual agreement or. Finally, the DRO must include the amount of funds that will be divided and the way in which the payments will be made.

After all findings of fact are laid out, the real DRO begins. It should include the amount of money in question and the agreed-upon payment method. The DRO should include a variety of relevant information and outcomes for specific cases. For example, it should outline what happens if the state-employee spouse passes away before the non-state-employed spouse has received any payments.

We advise you to look for some examples of DRO’s online so you can get a better sense of what one looks like. Of course, all cases are different, and each DRO is unique in its own way. It is highly recommended that you seek the help of a divorce attorney when filing for a divorce in North Carolina. They will be able to help you not only with the preparation of the relevant court filings but with the overall process itself.

There is no better way to craft a DRO than using the services of an experienced divorce attorney. Alternatively, there are examples online that you can use to create it yourself. However, even then, it is advised to send it to a divorce attorney for review. When it comes to divorce proceedings, you need to have all your bases covered. DROs can be tricky, so we recommend leaving the job to a professional.

Where Should a DRO Be Filed? Once the DRO is ready, it needs to be signed by a judge. Your divorce attorney will prepare the document and pass it on to the courts for review. Once it is signed by a judge, the DRO should be filed in the RSD. You need to keep in mind that the RSD tends to be quite picky about the specific language used in any given DRO. Your order might end up rejected and sent back to you for edits, so it can company with the RSD’s requirements. If a judge has already signed the DRO, it can still be rejected, forcing you to repeat the process all over again.

To avoid this, it is advisable to submit a draft version of the document to the RSD before getting a judge to sign it. Once you make the edits needed to meet RSD requirements, you can send it to court and then finally file it formally with the RSD. Going this way will save you a lot of time and ensure your DRO is filed in smoothly.

How Relocation During a Divorce May Affect Family Life

Sat, 05 Dec 2020 20:37:53 GMT

Relocation to Be Closer to Family During a Divorce

During a divorce, it is not uncommon for one of the spouses to need the support of their family . The situation can get complicated if their relatives are living in another state, for example. The spouse would often want to take the kids and move so they can be close to the family and get financial and emotional help. However, the legal details surrounding it can be a bit complicated even for an experienced divorce attorney . In fact, it is quite difficult to predict how such a case might unfold. In this article, we will take a look at what the law says when it comes to relocation during a divorce.

Why Can Relocation During a Divorce Be an Issue?

Picture Charlotte, a stay-at-home-mom, and her husband Jake, who is between jobs as a construction worker. They are originally from New Hampshire but moved to North Carolina eight years ago. Since then, the two had a son. The stress of unemployment and financial uncertainty weighs heavily on Jack. He has not managed to secure a job for some time, which has had an adverse effect on his mood and attitude toward his family. As a result, Charlotte and Jake’s marriage has been suffering enormously and they have decided they should divorce. There are no ill will or hard feelings at work — they have just realized that they need to take different paths in life.

Charlotte does not want to remain in North Carolina and would like to move back to New Hampshire with her son, as she will need the help of her extended family. Jake, on the other hand, has no desire to move back and wants to stay in North Carolina. However, he would like to remain close to his son and work on their relationship — that would be impossible if Charlotte takes him to New Hampshire.

Let’s imagine that Jake objects to the move, hires a divorce attorney, and files a lawsuit to stop Charlotte. How will the state resolve this situation?

There are multiple scenarios that can play out, depending on a variety of factors. In the paragraphs below, we will outline the most common ones and see how they play out.

Are There Other Relatives Living in North Carolina?

For our example, let’s assume that neither Charlotte nor Jake have any other family members living in North Carolina. Their son has a great relationship with his extended family back in New Hampshire. In fact, he and his parents often took trips to New Hampshire to visit their relatives and spend some time with them.

The fact that Jake is currently unemployed will certainly make a difference during the trial. Under such circumstances, the judge will be more inclined to let Charlotte and the kid move to New Hampshire. On the other hand, if the boy is going to school and has close friends in North Carolina, that might tip the scales the other way. After all, removing children from a place where they are happy is not advisable. Any divorce attorney will take that into account when handling the case.

Let’s say that Jake manages to find a job before the trial starts and is capable of providing for his son. His divorce attorney might argue that the child needs to stay in the same state as his father, who will be able to support him and his mother financially. After all, one of the reasons Charlotte wants to move to New Hampshire is that she will need the financial help of her family. In law, the relationship between a child and a parent trumps that between a child and any other relative. In this case, the judge might refuse Charlotte’s request to take the boy and move to New Hampshire.

What If There Are Relatives Living in the Current State?

Let’s imagine that Jake’s sister also lives in North Carolina and has a close relationship with her nephew. She is helping out in any way she can and continues to be close to the family. On top of that, Charlotte appreciates the help she receives from her sister-in-law. However, Charlotte would much rather have the assistance of her own family in New Hampshire. Even though she will miss her sister-in-law, Charlotte would prefer to move.

In such a scenario, the court might take into account that the child has blood relatives in North Carolina. It does not matter that they are technically Jake’s family — they provide a caring environment where the child can thrive. Suddenly changing the child’s life might have an adverse effect on his mental health. In this situation, the judge will most likely rule that Charlotte must stay in North Carolina, along with the child.

The bottom line is that the separation and relocation need to be beneficial for the children — not necessarily for the parent who wants to leave. Any court will take the well-being of the children as the most important factor when deciding on a case of this manner.

A Factual Example of a Post-Divorce Relocation Case

Recently, there was a similar case before a North Carolina court. The recently-divorced couple lived in the state, but all their relatives were in Oklahoma. They had one child who was often neglected by the father. The custody of the child was still argued over in court. What complicated things was the fact that the father suffered from an ongoing substance abuse problem. As a result of that, he could not pay the court-mandated child support and was allowed only supervised visits.

The mother, on the other hand, lost her job, and found herself needing help raising and providing for the child. She wanted to move back to Oklahoma and discussed the matter with her ex-husband, who did not approve of the idea. Still, she has already made the decision and was going to move regardless of her ex-husband’s opinion. In order to prevent her from moving to Oklahoma with their kid, he filed a lawsuit.

There was a hearing during which the judge granted the mother full custody and allowed her to move to Oklahoma with the child. The fact that the father had a substance abuse problem, did not pay child support, and was overall negligent of his child played a huge role in this decision. However, the judge did give the father visitation rights once a month.

Had the father been an upstanding citizen who did not suffer from all the problems above, the judge’s ruling might have been quite different.

How Are Post-Divorce Relocation Cases Resolved?

Unfortunately, such cases are quite difficult to analyze, since they involve a lot of complicating factors. Most judges already have positions on such issues and would rule accordingly in the majority of cases presented to them. If you face such a situation, you need to request the assistance of a qualified divorce attorney in your area. There is a good chance that your divorce attorney will be familiar with the local judges and their predispositions.

However, it is not uncommon to encounter freshmen judges who do not have any background in family law whatsoever. In such cases, the facts of the case are all that matters. As you’ve read in this article, there are a variety of factors that can affect how the case goes and what the outcome of any litigation would be. It is impossible to pinpoint a rule when it comes to cases involving relocation after divorce. Each scenario is more or less unique.

You need to have the facts on your side and to be able to present them clearly in court. Tendencies show that judges will often prioritize the well-being of the children , so make sure you keep that in mind. Hiring an experienced divorce attorney in North Carolina is the best thing you can do to polish your case.

Divorce, Alimony, & Taxes: The Details

Mon, 26 Oct 2020 18:47:49 GMT

Understanding the Basics of Divorce, Alimony and Taxes

Are you going through a divorce that involves alimony payment? If so, you should know that there are serious tax implications to consider and your divorce attorney can help you navigate these issues. It is essential that you are familiar with them, as they might play a key part in your negotiations. In this article, we will cover the terms and rules you need to know regarding alimony and taxes. Read this before signing anything related to alimony during your divorce process.

Know Your Terms

To begin with, alimony has a very specific meaning — it is the sum of money one spouse provides to the other as support after a divorce. No two alimony settlements are exactly the same, as there are many factors the court will consider. In North Carolina, for example, there are no regulations regarding alimony. There are no rules as to how much a spouse should receive or how long the payments must continue. It is all decided during the negotiations, so you need to be careful about what you are agreeing to.

In addition to alimony , the term has several different names you are likely to encounter. Those include maintenance, spousal support, and financial support. Keep in mind that no matter the term found in your separation agreement, you will be required to pay taxes on alimony. Support payments result in taxes regardless of the way they are named.

Alimony Taxes for the Paying Spouse

Before 2019, people who were paying alimony were able to deduct it from their taxes . However, this is no longer the case — if your divorce was concluded after 01/01/2019, you must pay taxes based on your entire income. If it took place before that date, alimony payments should still be tax-deductible for you.

You need to be careful not to amass a huge tax bill when filing at the appropriate time. One way to avoid that is to pay your taxes on a quarterly basis. This way, you will spare yourself any unpleasant surprises.

Also, make sure you do not skip alimony payments. If a court orders you to pay arrearage, it might come with an added interest that will make the bill considerable — and you will not be able to deduct it from your taxes.

Does the Receiving Spouse Pay Alimony Taxes?

Since taxes on alimony are the responsibility of the spouse who pays it, the receiving spouse is not subject to any taxation. Alimony payments are not regarded as taxable income any longer. However, the situation was different before 2018 — you had to pay a 10%–30% tax on any alimony you receive, just as you would do for your salary.

As the receiving side, you need to be aware of how paying alimony and the taxes involved will affect the other side. Keep in mind that alimony payments are not tax-deductible for the paying spouse anymore, so they will end up paying every dollar owed in taxes. If you want your alimony payments to be consistent, make sure you agree upon a sum that your ex-spouse will be able to handle.

For example, if you want $1,500 in alimony per month after the divorce, make sure your soon-to-be ex-spouse knows that they will have to set aside around $375 for taxes (assuming they are taxed at a rate of 25%).

The Recapture Rule

When it comes to discussing alimony payments, you must always keep in mind the so-called “ recapture rule .” It comes into effect if the payments experience a “substantial decrease” or simply stop in the first three years after your divorce. So, what does substantial decrease mean and when can it be argued?

You can argue a substantial decrease in two specific cases. In the first one, the total alimony payments received for the third year plus $15,000 must be less than the alimony paid for the previous year. In the second case, the average alimony paid for the second and third year must be less than the total paid during the first year. If one of the two situations occurs, the recapture rule applies.

The recapture rule makes the paying spouse pay back the IRS any tax benefits that were improperly taken during the first two years after the divorce. In addition, any deductions must also be recaptured after the third calendar year post-divorce has passed.

Alimony and Mortgage Payments

If you and your spouse own a residence and only one of you will be paying the mortgage for it, there are some more tax implications to consider. If the paying spouse agrees to pay the mortgage while the receiving spouse still lives in the residence, then the mortgage payment is technically also an alimony payment, no matter whose name is on the deed to the house.

For example, even if you own the house and keep on paying the mortgage, if you move out and decide to let your ex-spouse live there, your payments are essentially alimony.

Alimony Trusts

When discussing alimony, the receiving spouse should make sure payments are regular and will not suddenly stop because of an unexpected issue. There should be a safeguard in case the paying side cannot afford to pay. In order to achieve that,the paying spouse can set up an alimony trust by offering property or an income-producing asset. The purpose of the trust is to cover the alimony payments in case something unexpected occurs. After all, the paying spouse could go bankrupt, become unable to work, or pass away — in such cases, the alimony trust helps the receiving spouse keep on getting the necessary financial support.

As pointed out, an alimony trust can be beneficial for the receiving spouse in several situations.

Such a trust should be up for discussion depending on the occupation, health, and current situation of the supporting spouse. For example, if the paying spouse has an unstable job or exhibits reckless spending behavior, insisting on an alimony trust is the wisest possible decision. Similarly, if the paying spouse is in poor health, establishing an alimony trust would protect the receiving spouse. Similarly, a trust protects the receiving spouse if there are any suspicions that the paying spouse would quit their job in order to avoid paying alimony.

When it comes to taxes on alimony trusts, the IRS has taken special care of such situations. If you transfer property into an alimony trust, you do not have to pay any taxes on it. That includes the usual “gift tax” that would usually apply for such actions. However, it’s important to remember that this exception exists only if you establish the trust as part of a divorce agreement.

How to Tell Your Children You Are Getting a Divorce

Mon, 21 Sep 2020 14:21:34 GMT

Family Law 101: 5 Tips on Talking to Your Children About Divorce

Divorce is always hardest on the children. No matter which age group they belong to, they will not take the news well; after all, their mom and dad, the two people who have been there since Day 1, are separating. So, if you’re going through a divorce, you’ll need to figure out how to approach your loved ones and explain the situation to them. And no matter where you live, the family law of your country is quite clear on one thing — unless you approach this situation carefully, you risk watching your child grow up with emotional scars and traumas.

So, as loving parents, both you and your partner need to know the best way of letting your offspring know what’s going on. We’ve compiled a list of some of the most common family law tips on discussing separation with children .

Family Law Divorce Tip 1: The Right Way to Talk

Separation is quite delicate, so you have to know how to talk to your children without triggering an extreme response. Here are some of the most crucial steps you need to take:

Prepare yourself in advance
Make sure the whole family is there
Put the children’s needs front and center
Be honest, but measured in your explanation
Don’t show extreme emotions

When discussing a divorce , you should have a list of things that you want to tell your loved ones. It’s incredibly important that both you and your partner work on this list. That way, you might soften the impact of the news when you deliver it to your child.

Some families have more than one child, or have other members that live in the household (like grandparents). If possible, get all of the members together when announcing the news. After all, it’s an important family matter, so all of the family has to hear it and weigh in.

Sadly, a lot of parents think too much about their post-divorce lives and don’t focus on what the child needs at that crucial moment. So, when approaching your children, make sure to look at the situation from their perspective. It’s a scary and difficult change, and they need to know that everything will be alright. That’s where the art of explaining everything in an honest, measured way comes in. Let your child know about the important things: That you and your partner are both still going to be there for them, that your love for them hasn’t changed, and that you’ll both do everything you can to keep things going smoothly.

Finally, it goes without saying that you can’t show extreme emotions when discussing divorce. You might end up traumatizing your children further if you do.

Family Law Divorce Tip 2: ‘It’s Not Your Fault’

A child usually doesn’t have the same capacity for understanding the situations around them as an adult might have. This fact is especially true with toddlers and preschoolers. More often than not, there is one thing that almost all children gravitate towards when you tell them about separation. Far too often, they will think that this new situation is their fault.

Most family lawyers cannot overstate how important it is for you to convince your child that they did nothing wrong . Of course, doing that can be difficult for the parent, since there are marriages that fall through because of how hard parenting is.

Nevertheless, both you and your partner must reassure your children that the divorce didn’t happen because of them. Use lines like ‘It’s not your fault, sweety. It’s ours. We tried to make it work, but we failed.’ or ‘Remember, mommy and daddy love you very much. The kind of love we had for each other is different from the love we have for you. And while we might not like each other anymore, you will always be #1 to both of us.’

Family Law Divorce Tip 3: Be Open to Questions

Depending on the age range and their personalities, children will react differently to the news of a divorce. Some of them will avoid asking anything, while others will have a million questions. Since family law specialists emphasize the importance of communication, you should definitely talk to your child as often as possible.

Of course, you won’t always have all the answers. If that happens, simply tell the child ‘I might not have an answer now, but I will tell you as soon as I figure it out.’ By no means should you avoid answering a question or be abrasive about it. Take your time, be patient, and make sure to listen to your children carefully. By answering the question in the right way, you can help them cope with the situation and avoid any additional potential traumas in the process.

Family Law Divorce Tip 4: Expect Various Reactions

As stated earlier, divorce is incredibly difficult, and you, your partner, and your children can react to it in different ways. For example, your child might all of a sudden start behaving erratically and try to get your attention through bad behavior and habits. Other children will do the opposite; they’ll listen to every word you have to say without question and retreat into their own little world. Neither of these situations is good, according to family law.

When you spot emotions like anger, sadness, lethargy, hyperactive behavior, or sudden bursts of crying, you’ll know that you need to devote your time to your child. Usually, children will act out because they feel like they no longer matte r to you, especially if your thoughts linger on the divorce too much. So, when you address their behavior in a proper way, you can reassure them that they’re still your favorite person in the world. The more often you do it, the quicker they’ll stop showing these extreme emotions.

However, try to keep track of your own behavior as well. When going through a divorce , p arents become distant, distracted, cold, and unaware of the world around them. And naturally, a child can pick up on these negative emotions, which can hurt them indirectly. Of course, nobody is asking you to pretend that everything is fine. In fact, you can even shed a tear or two and connect with your child on a deeper level. But generally speaking, try to be as stable as possible. When they see you with confidence in your voice, your children will consider you a reliable figure and it’ll take their mind off of the problem.

Family Law Divorce Tip 5: A Team Effort

The most difficult thing to do is to cooperate with your partner in order to make sure your child receives the news well . This is especially true with couples who have heated rows and can’t stand to be around each other.

Once again, you must remember that your child’s well-being comes first. Explain that to your partner and start working together on maintaining a good parenthood. Try to create two households for your children, so they can feel safe and secure despite one of the two parents not always being around. Finally, discuss every detail you can with your partner about visitation hours, alimony , and other critical parts, and always do it with your child in mind.

A Few Closing Words

According to family law, both parents must make sure that their child has a safe, secure transition into a split household. Even if you do everything you can, always remember that the emotional stress will never really leave your child.

That’s why it’s critical to be honest and approachable during these tough times. Both you and your partner must talk to your child as often as you can, letting them know that you’re still a part of their life. In time, they will get used to the separation, and all three of you will start to heal soon enough.

5 Things To Do Before You Divorce

Wed, 26 Aug 2020 14:06:53 GMT

5 North Carolina Divorce Tips

A divorce is a complicated matter regardless of where you live. Just like every other state, North Carolina has its own set of divorce laws that you will need to watch out for. The last thing you will want is for a technicality to end up costing you dearly. These divorce tips will help you avoid such an outcome.

What to Do Before Getting a Divorce in North Carolina

Before you can get a divorce in North Carolina , you will need to have resided in the state for at least six months. Additionally, you will have to live separately from your estranged partner for at least one year. If you don’t meet said conditions, the state will not finalize your divorce. That is why you should be positively certain that you want to go through with the process.

These divorce tips are specific to the laws of North Carolina, but you will probably find them helpful no matter the state you live in. Separation is never a joke. Whether or not it leads to actual divorce, though, you will want to learn everything that you can about your relevant legal rights and obligations. Only then will you be able to feel good about yourself and your choices after the storm dies down.

Here are five divorce tips for North Carolina:

1. Try Talking to a Marriage Counselor

This is the big first step that many tend to skip. Trying to patch things up with your potential ex-spouse can be both awkward and unpleasant, yes. However, if there is a chance that you can save your marriage , you should, at the very least, try. It could lead to an altogether more pleasant future, as well as less financial strain.

Of course, you can only attempt the step if your spouse is willing to try it too. If they aren’t interested in staying married to you at all, then your marriage could, in fact, be unsalvageable. You may still be able to persuade them to try out divorce counseling, however. If anything, the two of you could learn what went wrong, how to deal with the new reality, as well as how to move on.

If you aren’t sure where to find a good counselor, you can browse the directory here . You will see plenty of professionals to choose from, from North Carolina, as well as other states. Alternatively, you can always reach out to your local community, friends, or family. Someone will probably be able to point you in the right direction.

2. Speak With a Lawyer as Soon as Possible

Before you so much as lift a finger about your potential divorce, you should talk to a lawyer . Even if you and your partner end up reconciling, you should still listen to what a lawyer has to say. There is likely a lot about the NC divorce process that you know nothing about. The attorney will give you solid divorce tips that you won’t be able to get elsewhere.

North Carolina has a complicated set of laws that may end up working against you if you don’t know what you’re doing. A single uninformed decision could cost you a lot down the line. It’s best that you take every step that you can to prevent such outcomes. And no one will be able to help you more in that regard than a lawyer.

3. Don’t Move Out of Your Marital Home Unless Your Lawyer Says So

Moving out without a good reason will almost never be a good decision. It may result in you having to pay alimony or even render you unable to collect alimony. Furthermore, if you move out, you’ll likely be unable to go back until the process runs its full course. That will often take longer than a year, so you should probably stay at home.

The most common exception to the above-mentioned piece of advice is a situation where your partner is violent. If you fear for your life while at home, you must do everything in your power to protect yourself and your children.

4. If You’ve Had an Affair, Your Lawyer Should Hear About It First

The vast majority of the time, you will want to be honest with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. If you’ve had an affair, however, no one should hear about it before your lawyer. Even if we ignore the fact that adultery is illegal in North Carolina, admitting it will work against you if you are facing a divorce. If your partner is an alimony candidate, your extramarital affair could end up costing you thousands of dollars.

To be clear, your spouse will not have to prove that you’ve had an affair in order to get alimony or post-separation support. However, the judge will take marital fault into account when making their final decision. If evidence of fault exists, the alimony may increase, decrease, or disappear altogether.

5. Protect Your Assets

Regardless of how much you trust (or have trusted) your partner, you will always want to protect your assets . Divorces tend to bring out the worst in people, and there’s no need for you to take any chances. You should always take possession of any items that you intend to keep using during separation, like your car and furniture.

Also, you should secure any assets that your spouse might end up selling. You should make sure that jewelry, gems, collector’s items, and the like, are where you want them to be. Remember, all is fair in love and war.

One of the better divorce tips out there is to file a Lis Pendens . You can do that in the Deeds Office of any county where you (or your spouse) own real estate. It is an option in any state, not just North Carolina. Properly served and recorded, a Lis Pendens will cloud the title to the property, meaning that no one will be able to sell it behind your back.

As another option, you can get an injunction that will prevent your partner from transferring ownership over the items listed under the injunction. The injunction will also stop your spouse from outright disposing of the items. Additionally, your lawyer can use the injunction to return your separate property to you if your partner keeps refusing to hand it over.

Here are some additional ways of protecting your property:

Freeze or close all of your joint cards and block your partner’s access to joint credit
Close all of your joint bank accounts and open an individual one
Change the name of the responsible party on your bills.

Conclusion

The ideal way of handling divorce would be to not have it happen in the first place. The world is not ideal, however, and you have to do what you have to do. If you play your hands right, though, the process won’t be nearly as unpleasant as it can sometimes get. We hope that these divorce tips will prove helpful in that regard.

How Your Spouse Can Pay for Your Child Custody Fees

Mon, 20 Jul 2020 14:07:12 GMT

You Can Have Your Spouse Pay for Your Custody and Child Support Legal Fees — Here’s How

Not only does a divorce take a great emotional toll on everyone involved, but it can also take a serious hit on your finances.

Both you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse will be separating your assets and transitioning to living off of one income. You may also have to move out of the family home or buy a new car, which will likely entail further expenses.

And then there are the legal fees to consider. Good divorce attorneys do not come cheap. What's more, their fees could rise exponentially if you and your spouse have underage children. When you factor in any child support and custody actions, your total legal bill can easily skyrocket.

If your attorney charges a flat rate, at least you will know in advance how much more you would have to pay for child-related litigation. If they charge by the hour, however, you might be in for a surprise, and it is not going to be a pleasant one. Every single email, phone call, meeting, and court appearance will add to your legal bill.

That is stressful enough as it is, but even more so if you were the dependent spouse in the marriage. You may only have a low-paying, part-time job — or none at all. You may not even have your own savings.

So how will you be able to afford — let alone win — a child support or custody battle in court? With so much at stake, your higher-earning spouse is sure to spare no expense on hiring the top divorce attorneys.

Here comes the silver lining: you may be able to have your spouse cover your attorney’s fees in relation to any custody and/or child support litigation — subject to certain conditions.

Are You Eligible?

According to North Carolina law, to qualify for having your attorney’s fees paid by the other party, you must be an interested party who is:

Acting in good faith
Unable to defray the litigation costs

You have to meet both conditions to be eligible.

Good Faith

First, the court will determine if you are acting in good faith. There is a lot that goes into this inquiry, as the judge will be looking at your overall behavior and intentions. You will not be deemed acting in good faith if, for example, you have filed a frivolous action for child support.

Unable to Defray the Costs

If the court is satisfied that you are acting in good faith, it will go on to consider whether or not you can pay the litigation costs .

The good news is that you do not have to be out of work or with no funds whatsoever to be eligible. You only have to be unable to pay for adequate legal counsel.

To be considered a dependent spouse, you do not have to be a stay-at-home parent — although if you are, you would certainly qualify. However, a working spouse can still be deemed dependent. In making its determination, the court will take a broad view of your circumstances and overall financial state.

Refusal to Pay by the Other Party

If you are claiming attorney’s fees in proceedings that are solely for child support, you would also have to meet a third requirement to become eligible.

In addition to establishing good faith and that you do not have sufficient means to cover the litigation costs, you would need to prove that the other party:

Has been ordered to pay child support; and
Has refused to pay adequate support under the circumstances.

How Much Can You Get?

Custody and/or Child Support Fees

You can only claim attorney’s fees that are related specifically to custody and/or child support issues. That means you cannot recover your expenses for any part of the proceedings that deals with other matters. What’s more, under this provision, you cannot claim compensation for legal fees relating to any other divorce-related proceedings, such as alimony or equitable distribution . You can still claim these, but you would have to file the request in separate pleadings.

Contempt of Court Fees

However, there is one exception to the rule above. You may also be able to recover your attorney’s fees for any contempt of court proceedings where your spouse has failed to obey a child support or custody order.

Reasonable Costs

Furthermore, the amount you are claiming needs to be reasonable. Otherwise, attorneys might be tempted to inflate their fees. So, the judge will be looking at whether the fees are unusually high as well as:

The type of legal services provided
The required level of skill
How much time your attorney spent working on your case
Your attorney’s standard hourly rate
The average divorce attorney’s rate for this type of proceedings

These and other considerations will help the court determine whether the amount you are claiming is indeed reasonable.

How to Claim Attorney’s Fees?

You can claim your attorney’s fees in your initial pleadings.

Alternatively, you can file the request in a separate motion after the court makes a determination in the main action for custody and/or child support.

What Is the Purpose of This Provision?

The reason the law is set up like that is to allow the parties to custody and/or child support litigation to meet each other on a level playing field.

If it were not so, the proceedings would be skewed in favor of the party who is better off financially. That would be incredibly unfair, especially when it comes to matters involving the well-being of children.

The Bottom Line

To recap, you may be eligible to have your spouse pay your attorney’s fees for any litigation involving custody and/or child support issues.

You can file the claim either in your initial pleadings or at a subsequent motion.

To determine whether or not you meet the eligibility requirements, the judge will be looking at the following questions:

Are you acting in good faith?
Are you unable to defray the cost of litigation?
Are you the attorney’s fees you are claiming reasonable?

If the court answers all three questions in the affirmative, you will be able to recover your attorney’s fees and reduce your divorce expenses.

When going through a divorce, one of the most crucial aspects to consider is child custody in North Carolina . Understanding your rights and responsibilities in this area is key to ensuring the best outcome for your children. This process can be complex, but being informed about custody laws can help parents navigate these challenges more effectively.

Navigating the complexities of understanding North Carolina child custody laws can be challenging, especially for parents going through a divorce. It's essential to familiarize yourself with the guidelines that govern custody arrangements to ensure that your child's best interests are prioritized

Separation Agreement Anxiety

Thu, 11 Jun 2020 14:20:57 GMT

What is a Separation Agreement and How to Cope

Should you feel anxious about your separation agreement? It all depends on how familiar you are with the concept and what it entails.

First, we should talk about the difference between a separation agreement and an actual divorce . North Carolina differs from other states when it comes to divorce laws. One key thing is that in NC, divorce is typically a two-step process.

First Step: Separation

Separation officially starts on the day you and your spouse start living separately from one another. You generally don’t need any paperwork to initiate that. However, we advise that you shouldn’t skip filing official documents.

A separation agreement is important, as it provides specifics on essential issues that will come up during the actual divorce. Those include child custody, alimony payments, property ownership, and more. This document can offer you some protection from problems down the road or unexpected changes in your living situation. While couples can prepare the separation agreement themselves, the professional help of an attorney is sometimes required.

Second Step: Divorce

However, the separation agreement does not include one key issue — the actual dissolution of the marriage. The absolute divorce is the second step and has the potential to be a relatively simple legal process.

The actual divorce doesn’t involve matters of custody, money, or belongings. It is nothing more than a change in your marital status. Despite that, it always requires a moderate amount of paperwork, since it is an official legal proceeding. In North Carolina, married couples can get a divorce only after one year and one day of separation.

Possible Issues with Separation Agreements

Some people get it wrong and think that the separation agreement means they would pay alimony only until the dissolution takes effect. They are under the impression that the judge will be deciding if the payments have to continue. If they are not careful, they might end up paying alimony until the end of their life.

As you can see, working out the details and negotiating before an inevitable divorce can be a pretty unpleasant task. If things go out of control, it can result in pain for children, family, and friends.

Imagine the following scenario, if you would. Your spouse is keeping your children and refusing to give them back to you. In the end, you decide to involve the police. In order to prove to the officers that you have custody over the kids, you need to present your separation agreement. If it doesn’t clearly state that you have custody, the police might refuse to help you.

The truth is that most couples cannot go through the whole painful process by themselves. This is why professional help from counselors and lawyers is often essential. Their expert guidance will help the couple divorce in a smoother, more civilized way. It is quite difficult for a couple to concentrate and get the job done when emotions often take over.

Do Not Let Emotions Take Over

Even though it might seem impossible, the most important thing you should do is to control your emotions. Start thinking rationally and determine what you want and need from the entire process. What are the wants and needs of your spouse? What is your current financial situation and what will it be after the divorce is settled?

To make a long story short — do your homework. You cannot negotiate the best possible outcome for you if you have not considered every aspect of the divorce with a clear mind. Even if you have the help of a lawyer, you need to gather all needed information and determine your goals.

Unfortunately, oftentimes people end up not being able to provide their children with everything they need. If the separation agreement they signed doesn’t mention anything about an increase in alimony, they have no legal footing on which to request one.

How to Negotiate During a Divorce

If you decide to negotiate with your spouse without the assistance of an attorney, here are some important points you should take into account.

Negotiate on the Right Location

Pick a neutral location for meeting your spouse. You need to be able to stop the negotiations if things start heating up. You have nothing to gain from a fight and it will only make the next attempt at negotiating even less productive.

Start with the Easy Stuff

To ensure the best possible start of the negotiations, talk about matters that you both agree on. Who will keep the luxury dining set? What about that painting that your spouse never liked? A good initial conversation will set things up for a more rational discussion regarding the more complicated matters.

Avoid Escalation

When it comes to those more complicated matters, it is important to maintain your composure and ensure that your spouse would do the same. Both of you need to listen to what the other has to say without arguing. When it comes to money, be careful. Do not settle on a sum that you would be willing to pay or accept that early in the process. It might cause you problems in the long run.

Think in Numbers

If you have property that you need to divide, think about what you will be getting and determine its worth. In a 50/50 division, the lower the dollar value of your items, the more of them you will end up getting.

Get It Done All at Once

Make sure you cover all important points all at once. Custody, alimony, property matters — leave nothing off the table. While it might make sense to you to separate those essential topics into different negotiating sessions, discussing them one after the other will prove much more effective. You might even find yourselves coming up with some pretty creative solutions.

Do Not Create Even More Problems

Make sure both you and your spouse are as objective as possible. Use that objectivity to reach solutions and not create even more discord and issues. If things start to escalate, consider shifting the conversation to the possibility of going to court. Odds are that both of you will want to clear things up without prolonged legal fights.

Gather Information that May Be Advantageous in Court

Consider any information that might gain you favor in court. Are there any negative behaviors your spouse has? Are are aware of any secrets that they would like to remain undisclosed? Are they attached to a particular piece of property? Such information can be helpful in achieving the best possible outcome for you. Also be aware of any information your spouse may have that can be disadvantageous to you. Inform your attorney so they can represent your case favorably.

Involve an Attorney

Never forget that a separation agreement, once signed, is a legally binding document. We strongly advise you to have an attorney review it before putting your signature on it.

Seek the Aid of a Professional

If you cannot get everything you want out of the separation agreement on your own, do not despair and do not go to extremes. You can trust your instincts to tell you what you want — however, you can never be certain what the result of your decisions will be.

We advise you to seek the help of a divorce attorney or a licensed counselor. They will get you closer to achieving what you want from the separation agreement, and also help you avoid any pitfalls along the way. If the professional cannot resolve your problems, there is always the nuclear option — going to the court.

In North Carolina, the vast majority of divorces end up being settled privately. Going this way will ensure your future doesn’t depend on the whims of a judge. Also, the added pressure of a protracted legal fight can be quite stressful for some.

You might be really anxious about getting a separation agreement, and preparing for the worst possible outcome. However, if you seek the help of an attorney, they will make sure you are prepared for the negotiations . You will be able to enter the discussion with confidence and reach a settlement, fair for both sides. Hopefully, you will also manage to get out of the whole thing without excessive stress and anxiety.

Top NC Divorce Tips

Mon, 18 May 2020 14:04:05 GMT

5 Things to do Before you Divorce

Getting a Divorce in North Carolina

No one believes that their marriage could result in a divorce, but sometimes it happens. While getting a divorce is difficult on a personal level, there are also legal and financial aspects that you need to be mindful of. Each state has implemented different divorce laws, and North Carolina is no exception. For example, NC will validate your divorce only if you have lived separately from your spouse for 12 consecutive months. Also, you need to have been a resident of the state for at least six months.

What to Do Before Getting a Divorce

If you are considering filing for divorce , you must do the following five steps before committing to anything. North Carolina’s divorce laws might seem confusing to some, and you need to be careful about how you approach the process. Such important decisions shouldn’t be rushed, especially when they involve complex legal and financial angles.

So, before you start the divorce process, make sure you do the following:

1. Talk to a Marriage Counselor

While the situation might seem hopeless from your point of view, there might still be something you can do to save your marriage . A professional counselor might help you pinpoint the root of the problem and find a way towards fixing the situation. They can also give you practical advice on how to deal with your feelings, anxiety, and stress levels during the divorce process.

It is important to point out that you do not need your spouse for a counseling session. If they are not willing to participate, you should do it alone. It will be helpful either way. Ask around for recommendations from your friends and colleagues, or do an online search for a local professional.

2. Consult with an Attorney

As we already mentioned, divorce laws in North Carolina are rather tricky. That is why you need to talk to an attorney and get as much information as you can on the subject. It is possible that you won’t need to actually hire them for the divorce process itself. However, you would be wise to discuss your situation with a lawyer . NC divorce laws can make a relatively simple situation significantly more complex. The outcome of your divorce might be defined by the actions you are taking right now. So, make sure all your bases are covered from a legal side.

We will further explore the intricacies of NC divorce law in the following paragraphs.

3. Discuss Any Extramarital Affairs with Your Lawyer

Adultery is a crime in the state of North Carolina. That is why, if you have engaged in extramarital activities, you need to discuss them with an attorney. Outright admitting to the truth may not be your best course of action, especially if alimony is demanded from your spouse. You might end up paying a lot more than the amount requested.

NC implements a no-fault divorce policy. This means that the spouse asking for a divorce does not have to prove that the other spouse did something wrong. However, if adultery is admitted or proven by one of the sides, the judge will take it into account when determining the amount of alimony. Adultery is one of the few things that the law outlines as a “fault” and might have a severe effect on the outcome of the divorce.

The statute that determines adultery as a marital fault states determines it this way:

1. Illicit sexual behavior (meaning “acts of sexual or deviate sexual intercourse, deviate sexual acts, or sexual acts defined in G.S. 14-27.1(4), voluntarily engage in by a spouse with someone other than the other spouse”).

4. Do Not Move out Before Consulting an Attorney

In addition to adultery, suddenly moving out is also one of the marital faults that can affect your divorce. Leaving without any good reason might cost you increased alimony payments, or render you unable to receive such. In addition, you might not be able to return to the premises until the divorce proceedings wrap up. Keep in mind that this can take up to a year.

If you want to move out, make sure you discuss the topic with your lawyer first. That is, of course, unless your spouse is abusive and violent. In this case, vacating the premises is not simply justified — it is necessary.

5. Secure Your Assets

If there are assets that you wish to use during the separation process, make sure you take possession of them before starting the procedure. Those can include vehicles, furniture, and other similar items. Also, if you possess assets that your spouse might end up liquidating, such as precious stones, cash, or collectibles, make sure you take possession of them as well.

If real estate will come under dispute during the divorce, you should visit a local Register of Deeds office and file a Lis Pendens for the properties in question. This filing notifies any third parties of your claim to the real estate, effectively serving as a notice of pending litigation. A Lis Pendens will lock your property to the market, making it impossible for someone to sell it without your knowledge and consent. This action is possible in all states, and you can learn more about it by reviewing the NC General Statutes.

When it comes to protecting your property during the divorce, there is one more action you can take. You can file for a restraining order against your spouse, making them unable to sell or transfer any property covered in the injunction. This restraining order can also be used in order to take possession of any items that your spouse has and refuses to hand over. The state of North Carolina has an equitable distribution statute — it gives you the ability to temporarily claim marital property, until the court reaches a final decision on its ownership. This statute will come in handy if you are short on funds during the whole ordeal. Keep in mind that the fee for filing for a divorce in NC is $225.

Here are some additional steps that you can take in order to protect yourself during a divorce:

If you and your spouse have any joint bank accounts, make sure you close them. Instead, open new accounts with your own name.

If you own joint credit cards with your spouse, freeze them. You should also block your spouse’s access to any other line of credit that you might have.

Change the name of the responsible party for any utility bills you have.

If you need to spend, make sure you save your own cash and property. Instead, take advantage of any marital properties, or the property of your soon-to-be ex-spouse.

Please be informed that this is not a complete list of all the necessary actions you need to take when getting a divorce in North Carolina. Make sure you check the rest of our website for more useful information on the matter.

Step-by-Step Guide to Voluntary Dismissal in North Carolina

Fri, 03 Apr 2020 13:44:32 GMT

Had a Change of Heart? Here’s How to Stop a Divorce

Updated 2024

In the realm of civil procedure, the concept of voluntary dismissal holds significant weight, particularly in the state of North Carolina (NC). Whether you're a plaintiff or defendant, comprehending the nuances of dismissal procedures can be critical. In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the intricacies within North Carolina's legal framework. From understanding the procedure to its implications, this article serves as a roadmap for navigating dismissal in NC courts.

What is Voluntary Dismissal?

It refers to the termination of a legal action by the plaintiff before a final judgment is reached. It's a strategic maneuver that allows the plaintiff to withdraw their case voluntarily. This process is governed by Rule 41 of the North Carolina Rules of Civil Procedure, providing a mechanism for plaintiffs to dismiss their claims without prejudice.

In North Carolina, voluntary dismissal can be initiated by the plaintiff at any time before the case is submitted to the jury for decision or before the court's ruling on the merits if the case is tried without a jury. This flexibility empowers plaintiffs to reassess their legal strategies or pursue alternative resolutions outside of litigation.

When Can a Case Be Voluntarily Dismissed?

The right to voluntary dismissal is a procedural safeguard afforded to plaintiffs. However, it's essential to understand the limitations and timing constraints associated with this privilege. In North Carolina, a plaintiff may dismiss their case voluntarily once without prejudice. Subsequent attempts are subject to the two-dismissal rule, which imposes restrictions on refiling the same claim.

When a civil matter is "dismissed without prejudice," it signifies a definitive conclusion, as the claim cannot be revived or refiled. This dismissal constitutes a final judgment, marking the ultimate resolution of the case, with no further recourse available except through an appeal to a higher court.

This provision underscores the importance of thoughtful consideration before pursuing voluntary dismissal. Plaintiffs must weigh the potential consequences and implications of their decision, particularly regarding the possibility of future litigation.

Dismissal With or Without Prejudice: What's the Difference?

One crucial distinction is whether the dismissal is made with or without prejudice. Rule 41 of the North Carolina Rules of Civil Procedure allows a judge to grant a motion to dismiss a case without prejudice.

By Statute, if the case is dismissed "without prejudice", the lawsuit can be filed again by the plaintiff, preserving their right to pursue the claim. On the other hand, a dismissal with prejudice operates as an adjudication upon the merits, effectively barring the plaintiff from bringing the same claim again.

Understanding the implications of dismissal with or without prejudice is paramount, as it can significantly impact the plaintiff's future legal options and the finality of the dismissal.

The Plaintiff May File Another Suit

In cases of dismissal without prejudice, the plaintiff may file another suit, either in the same court or a different jurisdiction, seeking to address the same legal issues. This option provides plaintiffs with the opportunity to reevaluate their legal strategies, gather additional evidence or pursue alternative avenues for resolving the dispute. However, it's essential to recognize that refiling a dismissed claim may entail additional costs, time, and resources.

The administrative closing of a case to permit arbitration

The administrative closing of a case to permit arbitration is a strategic maneuver employed by parties seeking alternative dispute resolution methods. In some legal jurisdictions, including North Carolina, parties may opt to temporarily suspend court proceedings through administrative closure while they pursue arbitration to resolve their disputes. This approach allows litigants to explore arbitration without forfeiting their right to continue the litigation if arbitration fails to yield a satisfactory outcome. By administratively closing the case, parties can effectively pause the litigation process, conserve resources, and engage in arbitration proceedings without the need to dismiss the case voluntarily.

Procedures for Filing a Notice of Voluntary Dismissal

North Carolina it requires compliance with specific procedural requirements outlined in Rule 41. This includes filing a written notice of dismissal with the court and serving it on all parties involved in the case. The notice must state whether the dismissal is with or without prejudice, providing clarity on the intended ramifications of the dismissal.

Additionally, the timing of the voluntary dismissal can influence its legal effects. Plaintiffs should be mindful of any pending motions or court dates to ensure that the dismissal is executed in accordance with procedural guidelines.

The Two-Dismissal Rule: Understanding its Significance

North Carolina's two-dismissal rule imposes limitations on the plaintiff's ability to voluntarily dismiss the same claim multiple times. Under this rule, if a plaintiff voluntarily dismisses an action twice, any subsequent dismissal operates as an adjudication upon the merits, barring the plaintiff from refiling the claim.

This rule aims to prevent abuse of this mechanism and promote judicial efficiency by discouraging repetitive litigation of the same claim.

Exceptions and Limitations to Voluntary Dismissal

While voluntary dismissal offers plaintiffs a valuable recourse, certain exceptions and limitations apply. For instance,it does not preclude the defendant from seeking recovery of costs or attorney fees incurred as a result of the litigation. Additionally, the court may impose conditions or restrictions on voluntary dismissal to protect the rights of the parties involved.

Understanding these nuances is essential for plaintiffs considering voluntary dismissal, as it can impact the overall outcome and implications of the case.

Notice of Dismissal or Stipulation: Its Legal Implications

The filing of a notice of dismissal or stipulation carries significant legal implications for the parties involved. Once a notice of dismissal is filed, the action is terminated, and the court's jurisdiction over the matter ceases. However, it's essential to ensure compliance with procedural requirements to avoid any challenges to the validity of the dismissal.

Additionally, parties may opt for a stipulated dismissal, where both parties agree to the terms of dismissal, providing certainty and clarity regarding the resolution of the case.

Voluntary Dismissal and Its Impact on Litigation

Voluntary dismissal can significantly impact the trajectory of litigation and the rights of the parties involved. Whether pursued as a strategic maneuver or as a means of resolving disputes outside of court, voluntary dismissal offers plaintiffs the flexibility to reassess their legal options and pursue alternative resolutions.

However, it's crucial to approach voluntary dismissal with careful consideration of its potential consequences and implications for future legal proceedings.

Challenges and Pitfalls in Voluntary Dismissal

Despite its advantages, voluntary dismissal is not without its challenges and pitfalls. Plaintiffs must navigate procedural requirements, timing constraints, and potential repercussions carefully. Failure to adhere to the prescribed guidelines or overlooking critical details could result in adverse outcomes or legal disputes.

Seeking guidance from legal professionals can help mitigate risks and ensure that voluntary dismissal is pursued effectively and strategically.

Resting a Case

Resting a case typically occurs when the plaintiff has presented all evidence and witnesses to support their claims, signaling the completion of their presentation to the court. This critical juncture prompts the defendant to prepare their defense and potentially present their own evidence and witnesses. Understanding when the plaintiff has officially rested their case is essential for both parties and the court to proceed with the next stages of the legal proceedings effectively. Clear communication and adherence to procedural guidelines are paramount to ensure that all parties are afforded due process and the opportunity to present their arguments fully.

Seeking Legal Counsel: The Importance of Professional Guidance

Given the complexities surrounding voluntary dismissal and dismissal procedures in North Carolina, seeking legal counsel is paramount. Experienced attorneys can provide invaluable guidance and representation, ensuring that your rights and interests are protected throughout the legal process.

Whether navigating voluntary dismissal, responding to legal challenges, or exploring alternative dispute resolution methods, legal professionals play a crucial role in achieving favorable outcomes and resolving legal disputes effectively.

Conclusion: Key Takeaways

- Voluntary dismissal in North Carolina allows plaintiffs to withdraw their claims before a final judgment is reached.
- Understanding the nuances of dismissal procedures, including the two-dismissal rule and distinctions between dismissal with or without prejudice, is essential.
- Compliance with procedural requirements and seeking legal counsel can help mitigate risks and ensure the effective pursuit of voluntary dismissal.
- Careful consideration of the implications and consequences of voluntary dismissal is crucial for informed decision-making and strategic litigation.

In essence, voluntary dismissal offers plaintiffs a valuable recourse for reassessing their legal options and pursuing alternative resolutions. However, navigating dismissal procedures requires diligence, adherence to procedural requirements, and, in many cases, professional guidance to achieve optimal outcomes.

Why You Shouldn’t Divorce Before Settling Marital Property

Tue, 10 Mar 2020 15:34:42 GMT

Settling Marital Property During a Divorce

Among the many challenges that come with divorce, property distribution ranks second only to child custody and child support in terms of the emotional toll it takes on everyone involved. To help make things easier for you and your soon-to-be ex, here is a brief overview of the rules on property distribution in North Carolina.

Who Makes the Decisions on Property Distribution?

Oftentimes, the parties to a divorce proceeding agree on property distribution themselves in the form of a property settlement. Where that is not possible, the court steps in. A judge will guide the parties through a number of steps in a process known as “ equitable distribution ” (ED).

Equitable Distribution Explained

The parties’ rights to ED arise at the time of their separation. These rights, however, are not automatic. One or both parties must assert them by making a formal application to the court. They can do so at any time after the separation in the form of either:

A separate ED action;
Together with another application under Chapter 50; or
As a motion in the cause.

The court will then determine which property classifies as marital and which doesn’t and will distribute the former in an equitable manner. The final judgment may be rendered either before or after the divorce is finalized, at the discretion of the judge. If the judgment is with the consent of both parties, they may agree for it to enter into force prior to the divorce.

The Courts’ Approach to ED

When distributing marital property, the judge will carry out a three-step analysis. First, they will separate marital from non-marital property. Note that marital property includes not only real estate but also any debts and assets. Then, the judge will issue an order distributing the marital property. The order may or may not include written findings of fact that support the judge’s determination as to why the division of property is equitable.

Defenses Against Equitable Distribution

Divorce

Except for two special provisions, an absolute divorce will ban any ED claim that was not pending at the time the divorce was finalized. That has been interpreted quite strictly in case law.

Property Settlement

Another common defense to ED is the prior execution of a valid and comprehensive property settlement that either divides the property or otherwise releases the parties’ right to ED. That goes for property settlements entered into at the time of separation as well as premarital and postnuptial agreements.

Previously, reconciliation between the parties would void the executory or unperformed property provisions of a separation agreement. Nowadays, however, the courts differentiate between separation agreements proper and standard property distribution contracts. The former have the separation as their primary focus, while the latter are unrelated to whether or not the parties reconcile. As a result, reconciliation only voids the agreement where the intent and language of the contract clearly indicate that property rights depend on separation.

Death of One of the Parties

Depending on when it takes place, the death of one of the parties may significantly affect an ED claim. If the spouse dies prior to the entry into force of an absolute divorce but while an ED claim is pending, that will bar the ED.

However, if the spouse dies while an ED claim is pending but a divorce has already been granted, that will not bar the ED. In that case, any heirs and the executor or administrator of the deceased’s estate become joint parties to the action. Failure to join the heirs shall void any property sale as to those heirs.

Conflicting Federal Law

In some cases, federal law may preempt the state’s right to execute ED of certain types of marital property. For instance, anti-assignment and other provisions in federal social security law bar North Carolina courts from distributing social security benefits. Furthermore, the Supreme Court found that state courts may not distribute retirement pay to servicemen as either marital or community property, where they waived it in favor of veteran disability benefits.

Military Pay Protections

The Court of Appeals recently held that military disability payments do not fall under the federal definition of “disposable retired or retainer pay.” Therefore, such payments do not classify as marital property and may not be distributed by state courts pursuant to ED claims.

In contrast, however, the Court of Appeals found that disposable servicemen retirement pay is subject to equitable distribution under federal law, as per the Uniformed Services Former Spouses’ Protection Act and GS 50-20(b)(1) , which restricts distribution only to “eligible” military pensions. That finding was consistent with an earlier judgment of the Supreme Court.

How to Prevent Property from Disappearing

It is not uncommon for a party to a divorce to try to hide, waste, or convert alleged marital property to avoid its equitable distribution by the court.

Fortunately, there exist special statutory provisions that allow the other party to obtain injunctive relief and temporary orders to prevent marital property from disappearing. Parties can apply for injunctive relief either before or after the filing of the ED action.

Alternatively, a party to a divorce may apply for an order for the partial distribution of marital property. However, parties may do so only after the ED action has been filed.

Collecting Legal Fees in ED Actions

Typically, a party to an ED action may not recover legal fees from the other party. The only exception is where the court allows, at its discretion, the award of reasonable legal fees and costs to a party that:

Owns separate property; and
Sues the other party to regain possession of the said property.

The above also applies where the other party removed the property in question from the marital home.

To Conclude

This brief note serves only as a general overview and introduction to the marital property distribution rules in North Carolina. The information contained here is not all-inclusive, and different rules may apply depending on the circumstances of each case. For more details, interested parties should review the relevant property distribution statutes and seek expert legal advice .

The Smart Divorce Plan

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 16:59:19 GMT

Smart Divorce Tips to Make Your Divorce Easier

Our clients often say that getting divorced turned out to be one of the greatest challenges they have ever faced. That’s no wonder — most divorces are financially and emotionally taxing even for the lucky couples that manage to part on good terms. Our round-up of smart divorce tips should help you make things a little easier for you and your loved ones.

However, bear in mind that no amount of online tips can replace timely professional advice. Russell Family Law & Litigation specialize in all divorce-related issues, from alimony and property division to child support and custody. Contact us today and get yourself the best divorce attorney Wilmington, NC, has to offer.

Educate Yourself

The very first thing you need to do — ideally, before filing for divorce — is to learn as much as you can about your legal rights and responsibilities under North Carolina law, as well as those of your spouse. If you have children, you also need to read up on custody and childcare divorce arrangements. That should help you make well-informed decisions and manage your expectations as you go forward.

Our website is a good starting point. Here , you can find a lot of useful and accessible information on various divorce law topics. However, make sure that you also get expert advice from a qualified legal professional.

Needs vs. Desires

Perhaps you’ve just filed the divorce papers. Maybe your divorce is nearly finalized, or you have only just begun considering a divorce. Whatever stage you find yourself at, you have a lot of decisions ahead of you.

To make the best decisions for yourself and your family, you need to know what it is that you want for the future. Before doing any of that, however, you must get very clear on the difference between your actual needs and your desires. The two do not necessarily overlap, and acting on your desires in the heat of the moment is generally not in your best interest.

For example, we find that many of our clients are tempted to use divorce to get back at their spouses. They may refuse to mediate or be flexible during negotiations. Worse, they may act and speak in a downright hostile manner. However, such behavior is never going to get you anything good.

Regardless of how much you may want some form of revenge , it is not what you need. Instead, what you really need is a functioning, if not amicable, relationship with your soon-to-be-ex. That is the best guarantee for a quick and relatively pain-free divorce and sets you up for success in future negations.

With this in mind, before making any big decision, make sure to pause and ask yourself, “Is this something that I need or just something that I want?” Make sure to be honest with yourself, too. Our practice over the years has shown that this is one of the best and most useful smart divorce tips.

Short vs. Long-Term Planning

The next thing you need to consider are your short- and long-term goals . These may not always be the same, even when they address the same underlying concern.

For instance, one of your main goals before, during, and after a divorce should be to maintain your mental wellbeing and emotional stability. Depending on your current position, however, how you go about achieving that goal could vary to a great extent. If it is still early days with tension running high, your priority might be to find a good therapist right away to help you cope with the high level of stress and anxiety.

In contrast, as things progress and you gradually start to feel calmer and more resilient, your focus might shift toward building new routines to support a healthy lifestyle and reduce stress in the long term. You may want to improve your work-life balance, find more time to spend with family and loved ones, or start working out regularly.

Therefore, it is important to always plan your next step with both your short- and long-term goals in mind.

Get Help

Divorce is hard, and no one can and should go through it alone. Make sure to get plenty of support from friends, family, as well as others who have gone through similar experiences. For more smart divorce tips, it may also be a good idea to read specialized books, websites, and other materials.

Most importantly, you need to always have dedicated professionals on your team, such as a therapist and a good lawyer. Luckily, we can help with the latter — call us today and get yourself the top divorce attorney Wilmington .

Prenuptial Agreements in North Carolina

Tue, 14 Jan 2020 17:25:00 GMT

How Prenuptial Agreements in North Carolina Can Protect Your Independence

Few things are more difficult for a married couple to admit than the simple yet devastating fact that, not only are things not working, but they can’t work – and it’s time to stop trying.

Divorce can take a variety of shapes and forms and can happen to the best of people. Though you would never want or expect to get a divorce, you want to be sure that your financial and personal assets are protected as best as possible. Financial entanglements should never be an obstacle to ending a relationship that isn’t working and starting fresh.

A prenuptial agreement can be of immense help in this respect – and here’s how.

Prenup 101

For those not in the know, a prenup is a legally-binding agreement whereby certain assets, financial and otherwise, which are held prior to a marriage – and are thus “prenuptial” in nature – are protected in the event of a divorce. When couples get a divorce, dividing up property and assets is an inevitable part of the separation process. Prenuptial agreements protect certain assets from that process by clearly delineating each party’s holdings as their own prior to marriage.

For example, if you own property prior to a marriage, under normal conditions, it may be subject to contestation and arbitration as part of a divorce proceeding. With a prenuptial agreement, however, any property you own prior to the marriage that is covered in the prenup can be spared from the divorce arbitration process.

A prenuptial agreement can also help protect partners from one another’s debts. While part of marriage is pledging to share in one another’s struggles and burdens, it is hardly fair for your money or assets to be used to pay off an ex-partner’s debts. Prenuptial agreements drafted ahead of time by family law or divorce lawyers can protect you from that possibility by marking your money and assets as solely yours.

Prenuptial agreements in North Carolina are especially favorable and important in certain situations. For example, if you own a business or have a share in a family business, you may want to keep that asset separate in case of a divorce so as to ensure it remains yours. You don’t want to lose part of all of a business that has been in the family for decades as part of a divorce settlement.

In addition, if your partner has debts, you’ll want to make sure that you do not become financially responsible for resolving them. After all, marriage is about sharing a union of mutual love and respect, not one party being used as a cash cow to bail another out of debt trouble.

In the end, prenuptial agreements are a means of protecting your independence and personal gains. The more successful you are in your premarital life, the more you have to protect, and thus the more attractive prenuptial agreements in North Carolina become.

What Prenups Can and Can't Protect

One of the most common sources of confusion regarding prenups is what they can and can’t protect. There are limitations to what prenuptial agreements can do, but the protection they provide may still be broader than you might imagine. You, therefore, always want to consult with a qualified divorce attorney in North Carolina to ensure that you have the full picture about where you stand regarding both a prenuptial agreement and divorce in general.

Prenuptial agreements can protect you from:

Losing family heirlooms or control of a family business

Losing financial assets that are solely yours prior to marriage

Being forced to pay the debts of your spouse during or even after marriage

Being forced to give up a disproportionate part of your wealth or assets in divorce

Confusion regarding financial obligations to children from previous marriages

On the other hand, prenuptial agreements can’t protect you from:

Custody battles for children to whom you and your partner are biological or adoptive parents

Having to pay alimony for children for whom you are legally responsible in your marriage

Disputes over who is to fulfill what role in the marriage (ie, working vs. staying at home)

In addition, prenuptial agreements cannot be used to force either party to do something that is illegal.

That last point is especially important. A prenuptial agreement that contains illegal conditions will be dismissed in court, even if other parts of it may be legally cogent and its contents vital to your financial security. It is, therefore, advisable to always have prenuptial agreements drafted by trained family law firms or a divorce attorney with experience drafting and executing prenups.

Common Points of Prenup Contention

For as relatively straightforward as the concept of protecting your premarital assets and livelihood may be, prenuptial agreements can still raise questions among couples. Some of the most common points of contention for couples looking into prenuptial agreements in North Carolina include:

Whether both parties feel comfortable with one. Even though a prenup is legally sensible, delineating individual fiscal assets isn’t very “romantic.” That said, neither are bitter divorce battles that can sap you of hard-won financial gains, family assets, and independence.

What assets to include in the prenuptial agreement.

Whether the prenuptial agreement should stand indefinitely. Some couples opt for an inclusion of clauses that mark an endpoint to the prenup, at which point assets revert to a shared state of ownership. On the one hand, this can be a way to compromise on the romantic side of things and have a prenup protecting your assets in the early years of your marriage, with the assumption that if things last long enough for your prenup to expire, then you’ve truly found “The One.” On the other hand, that expiration date can also be exploited if your partner wishes to divorce, but chooses to wait until the prenup expires and your assets become fair game.

The issue of pressure. No one can or should be pressured into legally binding contracts, including prenuptial agreements.

The question of clarity and representation. Both parties must be clear on what is in a prenuptial agreement. They cannot be drafted solely by one party without the other’s knowledge or consent. It is, therefore, always advisable to have a divorce attorney who specializes in prenuptial agreements oversee it before you sign or commit to anything.

Done properly, prenuptial agreements can help both parties preserve their assets and independence in the event of a divorce, and beyond.

What Kind of Cases Do Family Law Attorneys Handle?

Tue, 31 Dec 2019 14:36:03 GMT

Family law attorneys handle much more than just divorce cases, but do they offer the services that I am looking for?

The first line of Anna Karenina famously declares that, while all happy families are similar insofar as they are happy, “all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.” Such is the case with divorce cases, will disputes, and other family legal matters. No one ties the knot thinking that they’ll need to cut things off someday, or talks things over with family members thinking that the resulting dispute will wind up in court. Every divorce and family case is different and needs to be approached as such.

That said, while each case is unique, certain trends exist which can give context to a family law firm or divorce attorney in order to help them – and you – better classify your case, determine where you stand, and decide where you wish to go from here.

1. Divorce Cases

Anna Karenina is just one of countless examples of extramarital affairs in fiction. The reality, however, is that these kinds of cases can be notoriously difficult to work through given the sensitivity of the subject and the complexity of the personal and legal entanglements involved.

Furthermore, while an affair is perhaps the most sensational, there are any number of reasons why couples may file for divorce. One of the most common misconceptions about divorce is that it represents some kind of moral or marital “failure” on the part of the divorcing pair. Some marital situations can grow toxic over time, and sometimes two people simply grow apart. In either case, the best thing for one or both parties may genuinely be to terminate the marriage and make a new start.

A good divorce lawyer helps their clients do just that. They are first and foremost concerned with the well-being of their clients, and work to secure them the best divorce possible based on their particular situation. What is more, in contrast to the common depiction of divorce lawyers as “sharks,” they oftentimes work to try and secure the most amicable terms of separation for both parties, as this is often the most beneficial course for all involved.

2. Prenuptial Agreements

A particularly sensitive topic in divorce and family law can be prenuptial agreements. More than a third of marriages in America end in divorce. While couples exchanging vows love each other as much as ever, they are understandably more concerned about the financial consequences of a marriage gone sour. Prenuptial agreements can be a useful tool to guard yourself against losing significant amounts of money in divorce settlements by clearly delineating each party’s financial situation and protecting one another’s assets in the event of a separation.

A divorce attorney who specializes in this aspect of family and divorce law understands the complexities of the legal side as well as the sensitivities involved on the human side. They work to balance these and ensure that you and your spouse know where you stand financially and are able to more easily separate your assets in the event that the worst should happen.

3. Child Custody Battles

Few cases in family law are more difficult than those that involve children. No matter the disputes which may arise between adults, we all want what’s best for our children. However, when we disagree on “what’s best” for the children, it can lead to even greater personal acrimony and legal disputes.

If you find yourself at the center of a child custody battle, a good child custody lawyer can help ensure that you retain visitation and custody rights.

4. Child Support

Just because parties can leave a marriage does not mean they can or should leave behind their obligations to the life they helped create. The cost of raising a child raises every year. Child support is thus a vital part of the family law legal system that ensures that single parents have the financial resources necessary to raise children, holding exes responsible and ensuring that they contribute to the child’s wellbeing.

Unfortunately, there are those who would place their priorities and financial wellbeing ahead of that of their children. Divorce lawyers specializing in child support fight to hold these parties to account, taking them to court on behalf of their clients and working to ensure that the proper dues are paid. Learn more about child support in NC here: www.erinerussell.com/child-support

5. Will Drafting and Disputation

Ideally, wills and testaments are designed to prevent and alleviate confusion in the event of a death in the family, an inheritance, or another incident in which a significant amount of property, finances, or legal controlling interests change hands. However, a vague will or conflicting wills can sometimes be worse than no will at all, touching off a firestorm of controversy and legal battles which, as in Dickens’ Bleak House, can keep parties bitterly engaged in courtroom drama for years to come.

Experts in family law who specialize in will drafting and disputation try to avoid all of that. In the first place, they can draft wills which are clear, airtight, and binding, ensuring that there is no confusion about their contents, intent, or implications. In the event that things are already too far gone, they can help clients who have been wrongfully excluded from a will or who believe that the will in question is dubious at best. Conflicting wills or wills drafted when the signatory was not in their proper state of mind can be grounds for contesting its validity.

6. Estate Management

An estate represents the sum of your financial and property-based assets, but even more than that, it represents a legacy you can leave to your family. In short, when properly managed, an estate can be something that prospers and flourishes throughout your lifetime and that of your descendants. Experts in family law with a specialization in estate management can ensure that your estate is executed in such a way as to benefit the family as a whole and that any binding agreements laid out in wills are respected. They can also help set up trust funds and similar legal means by which to secure money left by clients for their children or grandchildren.

Every familial, marital, and personal legal matter is unique, and the best divorce and family law attorneys always give their clients situation the perspective and attention they deserve.

How to Survive the Holidays in an Unhappy Marriage

Fri, 15 Nov 2019 15:45:02 GMT

How to Enjoy the Holidays While in an Unhappy Marriage

There’s no getting around the truth, no matter how much you want to deny it you know that the marriage may be over. You can’t deal with the fake laughs and you aren’t happy with how your partner looks and carries themselves. You don’t care that it’s the holidays and they’re supposed to be happy. Right now your would like nothing more from Santa than a Christmas divorce.

How to Not Ruin Christmas With a Divorce

Unfortunately, while you would love for your marriage to be over so you can move on with your life, no one wants to be the person who asks for a divorce for Christmas.

You love your kids too much to ruin Christmas for them. Even if you don't yet have children, Christmas may not be the best time to proceed with plans to get a divorce. You don’t want to make things even more awkward and uncomfortable for the extended family either. While your spouse has long-since gotten on your very last nerve, you know the mature thing to do would be to tough it out through the holidays.

Knowing how navigate the holiday season with a tough marriage is going to prove to be a challenge.

The Dilemma of a Christmas Divorce

If you aren’t good at keeping your feelings close to your chest, then it won’t be easy at all for you to get through the holidays without bringing up a divorce – the one thing that you want more than anything else. It’s still possible though. You can definitely do this. Even if you aren’t much of an actor, you can still get through the holidays without exploding.

10 Tips to Make the Holidays More Bearable

1. Don’t Aim for Perfection

The harder you try to make the holiday season as “perfect” as possible, the harder you’ll need to work to pretend to be happy. Doing this is going to make you feel even worse about yourself. You shouldn’t go into the holidays expecting to have the best Christmas ever. Try to have a Christmas that is simply “happy enough”. If things are too bad, then just focus on getting through the holidays and leaving them in the past. It’s not a very comforting or happy thought, but sometimes surviving is more than enough.

2. Focus on Your Family and Be Mindful of your Thoughts

The more you focus on something the bigger it becomes in your head. If you focus on how much you want to get out of your marriage and how much you hate your spouse, it’s impossible to feel anything but misery. Rather than focus on the negative dynamics of your marriage, intentionally focus instead on your blessings. Don’t forget that no matter what happens now, next year is sure to be better.

3. Start Facing Your Fears

Having a divorce means diving headfirst into the unknown . There’s no guarantees over how anything will go. It doesn’t matter how much you believe you are doing what’s right, it’s only natural to be worried and scared about a divorce. The sooner that you accept this and face your fears, the better off you’ll be. If you haven’t already started talking to a therapist then now would be the time to look for one.

4. Cut Down on Christmas “Spirits”

You might be tempted to just drown your sorrows in the biggest mug of spiced rum that you can find, but that only invites disaster. Drinking too much alcohol is only going to make you feel more depressed than before. It also takes away your inhibitions, making you more likely to demand that you want a divorce; likely at the worst time in the worst way.

5. Put the Kids First

Doing what you can to keep the kids happy will pay huge dividends. Your kids are going to have a better time. You’ll be happier to see them so happy. Also, focusing on the kids and their happiness will take your mind off of the unhappiness of your own situation.

6. Make Some Time for Yourself

It takes a lot of effort to smile and pretend nothing is wrong when everything is going wrong. It doesn’t matter how busy the holidays are for you, you need to take some time each day to do something that is going to make you happy. Even if you only manage to get to bed a little earlier, that’s more than enough. You aren’t a robot after all. You’re going to have to recharge your batteries somehow, some way, every single day.

7. Take Baby Steps

Rather than focus on the feeling of being trapped in a marriage you don’t want, you can start to prepare yourself for the inevitable divorce before it happens. Take some time to learn more about the divorce process . Put together a budget. Start researching potential parenting schedules and scenarios. Do small and simple things to push the divorce forward in your head. Even taking tiny steps like this takes away some of the anxiety over the situation.

8. Alter Your Approach

The last thing you need there to be over the holidays is more drama. That’s why you should refuse to argue with your spouse this Christmas. You really can do it if you want to. Try to find ways to stay calm or just walk away from your partner if they start pushing your buttons. It may take some self-control, but everyone will have a happier and more enjoyable holiday if you do it. It’ll also confuse your spouse, which is an added plus.

9. Dream

Now is the time to start imagining the life that you want to have. Visualize how happy you want to be – and are going to be. See yourself living where you want to be with whomever you want to be with. Picture your kids as being satisfied and well-adjusted and dealing with their new life well. These dreams will help to distract you from the current situation while also making it easier to focus on what you want from life. It’ll make it easier to look away from the things that you don’t want and don’t like.

10. Appreciate Everything You Have

This may be the last time that you, your spouse, and your kids spend the holiday together as a family. You should treasure this while you can. It sounds weird to say that, but try to see things differently. Try to focus on your kid’s joy and making them happy. It might be their last Christmas together as a whole family and you don’t want to get bogged down thinking that it’s your fault that’s the case.

You should try to find those small bits of joy. Don’t dread spending Christmas with the extended family. Instead, try to make it all as great as it can be. It’s great if you can succeed. You’ll have given your kids – and yourself – a wonderful present. Even if it doesn’t work out so well, you can just use it as a reminder of how much better things are next year.

11. Avoid The Temptation To Be Vengeful

Being vengeful towards your spouse will almost certainly backfire. If divorce is inevitable, being as civil as possible will help pave the road for an easier post-divorce life.

Getting Through Christmas in an Unhappy Marriage

It takes a great deal of courage and strength to get through the holidays in a broken marriage. You should give yourself the credit you deserve for meeting the challenge for the sake of your children.

Remember why you’re doing it too. It’s for your kids, your family, and for yourself. You want to give them a happy and peaceful Christmas they enjoy and that means it will be better for you. At the end of the day, whether they know it or not, that would be the greatest gift you could possibly give them.

If you need help navigating a divorce or know what your options are, please reach out to us at Russell Family Law. We are here to help!

What to Expect From Your First Consultation with a Divorce Attorney

Thu, 24 Oct 2019 17:13:12 GMT

How to Prepare for Your First Divorce Consultation

No one ever says their “I do’s” thinking that it will someday end with the two of you admitting “We don’t.” The pain that comes from a failed marriage can be immense, doubly so considering how often one or both parties are subjected to the blame game and public shaming for daring to get a divorce.

This is unfortunate and unfair.

You deserve to be happy. The same holds true for your partner. Seeking a divorce doesn’t say anything about either of you in terms of your worth as people.

What’s more, if it does say something about them, namely that you want to rid yourself of a toxic partner, there’s nothing wrong with that, either. No one should ever shame you into staying in a relationship that’s unhealthy and potentially unsafe.

Maybe you’ve simply grown apart. Maybe there was cheating or an affair or another breach of trust involved. Maybe your partner is toxic and you need to separate yourself from him or her at all costs. There are any number of reasons why you might find yourself at this point.

But whatever has brought you to the doorstep of divorce, one thing is for certain – you’ll want assistance and assurance as you walk through that door and see what the other side holds.

To that end, here’s what you can expect when you attend your first consultation with a divorce lawyer .

A Welcoming Environment

The first thing you can expect when attending any divorce consultation worth its salt is a welcoming, judgment-free environment. Divorces are already hard enough and the public blame game is shameful enough without having to endure such slander from your attorney as well. Divorce lawyers understand that the past is beyond our control.

It’s what we do here in the present and for the future that counts.

What’s more, some clients are afraid to file for divorce out of fear of physical or emotional retribution. Fear for your life or personal wellbeing or that of your loved ones should never keep you from speaking your truth and pursuing a divorce that can liberate you from a toxic environment. If these are factors in your fears concerning divorce, your divorce attorney will work to first assuage your concerns and then, if necessary, act upon them via legal means. In addition, they can help you find medical treatment, put you in touch with a therapist, or work with child protective services should the need arise.

A Listening Ear

At this point, you’ll begin telling your story. We’ll touch on some of the most common questions to ask your divorce attorney in a moment. For now, however, what’s important is that you tell them the entire, unvarnished truth of your situation. Your divorce lawyer is committed to helping you, but can only do so insofar as you allow them. Withholding key information until deep into the trial won’t help anyone.

Divulging embarrassing, upsetting, traumatic, or otherwise sensitive information always has the potential to be distressing. That’s why the best divorce attorneys work so hard to win their clients’ trust from the start by creating a welcoming environment and offering a listening ear to their problems.

Initial Questions

When you meet your attorney for a divorce consultation for the first time, you are bound to have some questions. In fact, the more you think about it, the more questions are likely to come to mind. Even basic factors like how and when you’ll communicate have to be hammered out from the start. Given how many questions you are likely to have and how broad-ranging they can be, it is often a good idea to make a list of these first questions before you arrive at their premises.

Some of the most common initial questions you are likely to have for your divorce lawyer at your first consultation include the following:

References :

Given how much they charge and how much access they are going to have to your life, it is fair to ask an attorney for references . You want to make sure that they have a good track record on both a professional as well as personal level. The latter is especially true for divorce lawyers. It is always important to have an attorney who is an utter professional, but given the sensitive interpersonal nature of your case and the emotionally vulnerable state in which you may find yourself, you’ll want a divorce lawyer who soothes and meshes well with your personality and personal needs.

Delegation :

Will the attorney be working on your case themselves, or do they work for a large firm and plan to have someone assist them, or take over your case entirely? If the latter is true, what is this associate’s track record?

Expectations :

It is natural to wonder where you stand with respect to your legal situation. How do courts typically rule in cases such as yours? What type of financial and legal scenarios should you prepare yourself for, and how can you best go about doing so? visit our resources page for additional articles and recommended reading .

Present Situation :

There’s also nothing wrong with asking basic questions about how you should go about your life in the wake of this case. After all, divorce cases are big life events that have the potential to totally reshape your life. Where should you live during this time, and what type of contact, if any, should you have with your soon-to-be ex? What sort of contact can or should you have with friends, family members, and coworkers?

Temporary Orders :

Concurrent with that, if your case is severe and involves extreme toxic or abusive behavior, you are well within your rights to ask your attorney about obtaining temporary orders such a restraining order against your spouse.

Settlements vs. Trials :

This is one of the biggest existential questions all people going through a divorce must face – is it better to seek a settlement or go to trial? Can you expect or should you try for an amicable separation, or should you prepare for a long court battle? That will depend on the nature of your case, and you’ll want to be sure to ask about the pros and cons of each from your divorce attorney.

Establishing Communication

One of the first things you’ll want to establish during your first meeting with your divorce lawyer is the means and frequency with which you plan to contact them. You don’t want to be left wondering when they are going to call you back, and vice versa.

Reviewing the Cost

You should not have to pay an arm and a leg to get the just divorce you deserve. It is completely within the bounds of normal operating procedure during an initial divorce consultation to ask your attorney about their fees, and to expect a clear answer in return.

Experience on Your Side

Last but not least, you’ll want to know that you are working with a divorce attorney or family law firm that you can trust. It is thus prudent and fair to follow up on your references question and all the other questions you have asked and make further inquiries about your attorney’s experience. How much experience do they have with cases like this, how have they fared in the past, and how do they plan to use that experience to your advantage?

Divorces can be a difficult time for all involved. By knowing what to expect from the first consultation , however, and knowing the right questions to ask, you’ll be able to get off to a good start in this critical transition period.

Important Factors to Consider When Pursuing Divorce After 50

Thu, 19 Sep 2019 17:09:04 GMT

What to Consider When Divorcing After 50

Considering Health Insurance in North Carolina

Financial Planning

Dealing with Older Children

One of the most common traps in terms of the Sunk Cost Fallacy and divorce for older couples concerns “staying together for the children.” While this is a noble idea in theory, in practice it can prolong an unhealthy relationship for years, which isn’t good for anyone, those children included. Moreover, if you are over 50, there’s every chance that your children are either grown up or are well on their way towards doing so.

Even so, however, it would be a mistake to think that the older age of children means that you are free of any financial obligations to them in the event you divorce. For example, if you divorce while a child is going to college, your partner could claim that you are responsible for helping to pay for their education. This isn’t always an effective argument, but in the hands of a skilled attorney it can be a persuasive one, especially if you have signed any financial loans or obligations to that effect.

If you do still have children under 18, you may need to go through the rigamarole of having to determine custody and visitation rights. You may also be advised to appoint an independent arbiter to handle certain money matters pertaining to them while you and your spouse resolve matters. Read our article on Child Support in North Carolina .

How Is Child Support Determined? Wilmington, NC Child Support Guidelines

Thu, 18 Jul 2019 13:12:15 GMT

North Carolina Guidelines on Child Support

Going through a divorce can be an overwhelming process and it doesn’t help that different states have their own rules and regulations. Here is a clear breakdown of how child support payments work in North Carolina. Hopefully, these guidelines make it clearer as to how these payments are determined.

North Carolina Guidelines

The North Carolina child support guidelines were revised on January 1, 2019 and apply to cases that were heard on or after that date. They state that the paying parent must have enough income to maintain the minimum standard of living, which is $1012 per month. The amount of support that is due each month is determined by using the combined gross incomes of both parents (see calculator at bottom of this page). If the obliged parent makes less than $1108 in adjusted gross income, a minimum support order of $50 is established. In addition, child care and health insurance premiums are not factored into the computed support amount due.

Learn More About Child Support Laws

Expenses Included in the Support Obligation

When determining how much a parent should pay in support each month, the state of North Carolina follows the “income shares” model, which was developed by the U.S. Office of Child Support Enforcement. The income shares model stands by the belief that the financial responsibilities of a child should be shared by both parents. That being said, the amount that each parent pays towards his or her child’s care and well-being should be proportional to his or her income.

Cases of Existing Support for Other Children

If the obliging parent is currently making existing support payments, the amount of those payments will be deducted from his or her adjusted gross income calculation. Moreover, a court judge may take into consideration the fact that the parent is now obligated to pay support for two or more children. As such, the judge may decide that this warrants a deviation from the typical support guidelines and may modify the payment terms.

Child Care and Health Insurance Premiums

If there are child care costs that a parent pays for through his or her employment and are of reasonable nature, the amount is added to the basic support obligation. That amount is then divided between the parents based on their respective incomes. If there are child care costs that are the result of the primary custodial parent attending school, those incurred costs may warrant a deviation.

As for health insurance premiums , those costs are added to the basic support obligation and include medical and dental insurance. The amount is then divided between the parents based on their respective incomes. If health insurance payments are made by the parent’s employer, they are not included in the basic support obligation. The basic guidelines include $250 per child for uninsured medical and dental costs.

Extraordinary Expenses

Additional expenses such as payments for a private school, special education, or transportation between the parents’ homes may be added to the basic support obligation. The amount that each parent pays will reflect his or her adjusted gross income as long as the court determines that these expenses are reasonable and necessary for the child’s welfare.

Parental Rights in North Carolina Child Custody Cases

Tue, 25 Jun 2019 12:57:09 GMT

Parental Rights and Child Custody Cases in North Carolina

Divorce is emotional and can threaten the stability of a family. Not only does it put a big question mark in the air for the parents, but it can be a confusing and unsure period for the children involved. Even though the parents are no longer together, there are still parental rights to deal with and gain a firm understanding of. A child custody lawyer is one of the best resources for families going through divorce and trying to figure out the rights and responsibilities of the parents. Here is how child custody cases are handled in the state of North Carolina.

The Well being of the Children Is the Bottom Line
Whether in North Carolina or elsewhere in the country, ensuring the safety and well being of the children involved in child custody cases is the top priority. Parental rights will be given to the guardian that the court judge deems most capable of providing a safe, healthy, and loving environment for the child. It’s easy for child custody cases to become a power struggle between two divorced individuals, but experienced attorneys are prepared to get to the bottom of the conflict and reveal the true intentions of the parents.

In North Carolina, besides the lawyer, the judge is another important figure in a child custody case. The judge will ultimately be responsible for gauging the primary factors that go into child custody, including the mental, emotional, and physical needs of the children, as well as each parent’s ability to meet these needs. North Carolina judges do not have the power to grant preference to mothers or fathers, and instead it is about best meeting the needs for the child’s health and safety. As such, North Carolina does not oblige by the “ tender years doctrine ” that favors mothers over fathers in terms of child custody. That being said, it doesn’t mean that mothers aren’t often granted primary custody over their children; it just depends on the specific situation.

Sole and Joint Custody
North Carolina judges deal with different types of custody, including physical custody and legal custody. In the former, parents have the right to house the child in their own home. The latter grants parents the right to make legal decisions on behalf of children under age 18. These custodial rights can be given to one parent or to both, depending on the particular circumstances of the case. As stated before, the judge will have the final say in North Carolina child custody cases. However, a child custody or divorce lawyer can be a tremendous resource for parents during these cases. An attorney can help them present their case to the judge, outlining their ability to care for the various needs of their child, provide a safe environment, and prove that they have the income, space, and time for the child.

Rights Without Custody
If a parent is not granted custody by the judge, they can still be permitted other rights as the parent of the child. Visitation rights, whether supervised or unsupervised, are often granted to the non-custodial parent on a schedule that is determined by the judge. Moreover, a parent could be denied primary physical custody, but they may still be granted legal custody over the child.

Dismissal of Rights
A North Carolina judge will have to work with the Administrative Office of the Courts if they wish to terminate the parental rights of one of the guardians. A request needs to be made by the child’s parent, an appointed guardian, or the County Human Services Agency that the parent have their custodial or visitation rights terminated. At this point, the request needs to go through the court and a hearing of the parties involved will be required. The judge will listen to the parent’s hearing and then make a decision about the custodial or visitation rights. If the parent in question does not appear in court within 30 days of their summons, then their rights will be taken away.
Clearly, child custody cases can be lengthy affairs that can take a toll on families, which is why a professional divorce lawyer or child custody attorney is always in the parent’s best interest. Russell Family Law is dedicated to the families they serve, and they’re ready to help now. Contact Us now to take the first steps.

If you're seeking a child custody attorney Wilmington NC , it's essential to work with someone who understands the complexities of parental rights in North Carolina custody cases. The right legal support can help ensure that your rights as a parent are protected throughout the process.

Understanding the types of family law cases in North Carolina is essential for anyone navigating legal issues related to family matters. From custody disputes to divorce proceedings, family law encompasses a wide range of topics.

Should You Divorce Before Settling the Division of Property?

Tue, 18 Jun 2019 19:51:16 GMT

Settling property division matters before getting divorced is often preferable to getting the court involved.

As an equitable distribution state, North Carolina allows the court to fairly divide property during divorce.
To determine the division of property, the court needs to evaluate several factors including the health, assets, income, and liabilities of each spouse. This process takes time and may include additional legal fees, disputes, and stress.
Instead of allowing the court to divide property, spouses have the chance to come to their own agreement.

What Is a Separation Agreement?
Couples have the right to equitable distribution of marital property at the time of separation. Couples may either come to their own terms or allow the court to handle property division.
To avoid a drawn-out court process, spouses may submit a separation agreement. This agreement is a private contract between the spouses.
The terms of the agreement resolve various issues related to the separation. Besides property division, this agreement may cover child custody, child support, spousal support, and any other responsibilities.
The separation agreement needs to be in writing and signed by both parties. In most cases, spouses work with attorneys to ensure that the agreement meets legal requirements.

Spouses do not need to submit a separation agreement but settling property outside of the court provides several advantages:
● Eliminate the need for a court judgment
● Reduce the overall legal fees of divorce
● Limit the stress of the divorce process
● Work toward an amicable divorce

A separation agreement also helps prevent future disputes and resolve potential court rulings. If the spouses properly execute the agreement, it may bar subsequent equitable distribution judgments.

The separation agreement can also include details related to child custody , child support , and spousal support. However, if one of the spouses choose to file a child custody case after the divorce, the court has the right to order a different arrangement.
For example, if one parent has evidence of neglect, he or she may petition the court for custody. Based on the details of the case, the court may overrule the terms of the separation agreement.

Not all spouses can come to an amicable decision on the division of property. When spouses cannot work out their disputes on their own, the court will need to fairly divide the property.

Equitable Distribution Splits Marital and Divisible Property
When spouses cannot resolve property disputes before filing for divorce, the court begins the property division process. The goal of equitable distribution is to fairly split the spouses’ marital and divisible property.
The property includes more than just real estate. Other assets include vehicles, antiques, artwork, insurance policies, money, and even debt.
Before dividing this property, the court needs to categorize it as one of the following types of property:
● Marital property
● Divisible property
● Separate property
Marital property includes everything earned or acquired during the marriage but before separation. The divisible property covers any changes to the value of the marital property between the date of separation and the division of property.

The Court Cannot Divide Separate Property During Divorce
While the court can divide marital and divisible property, it cannot divide the separate property. This includes property that a spouse acquired after separation or before marriage.
Separate property can include property obtained during the marriage if only one spouse was the intended recipient. For example, an inheritance or a gift obtained during the marriage may count as separate property.
In most cases, the marital and divisible property includes the spouses’ home, personal property, and intangible property such as income and debts.

How Does the Court Equally Divide Property?
The North Carolina courts understand that in some situations, equal distribution of property would not be fair. Instead of simply dividing the property 50/50, the court considers the circumstances of each couple for fair property division. The following factors influence the court’s decision:
● Health
● Assets
● Income
● Liabilities
● Ages
● Child custody
● Length of marriage

The court also considers the contributions of each spouse. According to the court, spouses who act as homemakers contribute equally to the marital property.
Marital misconduct does not influence the division of property. Affairs and bad behavior may not result in the other spouse receiving a greater portion of the property and assets. However, marital misconduct does affect spousal support.

Additional circumstances may exclude certain property or affect the court’s equitable distribution judgment:
● Federal laws
● Military pay
● Death of a spouse

In certain situations, federal law may precede North Carolina law. For example, North Carolina courts cannot divide Social Security benefits or retirement pay. Military pay is also exempt from this process.
The death of one of the spouses may impact the distribution ruling, depending on when the death occurs. If a spouse dies before the court grants divorce, the court dismisses the equitable distribution process.
If a spouse dies after the court grants divorce but before ruling on the division of property, the process continues. In these cases, an executor or beneficiary handles the interests of the deceased spouse.

To file for divorce, couples need to remain separate for at least one year and one day. One or both parties must still live in North Carolina. However, both parties do not need to agree to the divorce for one party to begin the divorce process.
Before filing for divorce, take the time to consider the benefits of a separation agreement. Resolving property disputes outside of the court saves time, money, and stress. For more information, consult with a qualified North Carolina divorce lawyer .

Exploring Legal Alternatives to Divorce in North Carolina

Tue, 04 Jun 2019 15:58:39 GMT

It's always good to know your options, so what are the available options related to divorce or separation?

Divorces often end in litigation with couples taking each other to court for the division of assets. Litigation is often costly, can be lengthy, and increases the animosity between couples.

There are legal alternatives to litigation in North Carolina, including mediation and arbitration. Both options can help give couples a more dignified way to dissolve their marriages.

If you want to avoid the costs and pressure of litigation, these alternatives may offer the right path.

What Is Mediation ?

Mediation helps couples avoid litigation and provides a way to dissolve the marriage amicably. With this option, couples work with a neutral third party called a mediator. In some cases, the couples choose to retain their own lawyers for this process.

Through meetings with the mediator, the couples work to discuss and resolve their issues.

Mediators do not make decisions or rulings. Their role is to facilitate open communication so the couple can decide what is best for their own situation.

Some of the benefits of hiring a mediator include:

Mediating a divorce is less expensive compared to litigation.
Mediators often help resolve all issues related to the divorce.
The process is completely confidential with no public record.
The couple controls the process instead of the court system.
This option may result in an amicable dissolution of the marriage.

This is one of the most used methods for divorce. Couples can negotiate the divorce settlement on their own terms with the assistance of an experienced mediator.

While this process works for most couples, some situations still require the court system. For example, marriages that involve domestic violence, child abuse, substance abuse, or other criminal behavior may require immediate legal intervention.

The main advantage of mediating a divorce is the ability to work through issues together. Through mediation, couples may settle their divorces on good terms and avoid future conflicts.

What Is Arbitration ?

Couples may choose arbitration when they cannot resolve their issues with the help of a mediator and still want to avoid litigation. The process shares many features with a court trial.

As with a divorce trial, couples present their arguments and may retain lawyers. However, instead of standing before a judge, couples resolve their disputes with an arbitrator. This offers the following advantages:

Couples can select their arbitrators.
Couples get to choose the day and time for the hearing.
The process is completely private and confidential.
This option may still cost less than a public trial.

With this process, couples schedule a private hearing before an arbitrator instead of a public courtroom hearing. This is a more comfortable process compared to a public hearing. The informal setting helps put both parties at ease, helping to reduce some of the stress of the situation.

This method also gives more control to the divorcing couple. With litigation, the courts decide on the day, time, and location for the hearing. Couples cannot choose their judges or pick dates that works best for their schedules.

Arbitration also results in a final decision. After hearing both sides, the arbitrator makes a ruling. The ruling is final and neither party can challenge it in the future.

How Do You Know Which Option Is Right for You?

Mediation, arbitration, and litigation are the three main options for divorce. It is important to consider each process before moving forward.

With mediation, couples can come to a mutual decision on the separation of assets and property . This process works best with couples who can maintain open communication. It is also the most used method for negotiating divorce settlements.

For more contentious divorces, arbitration may offer the right path. A third party hears both sides and finalizes the divorce.

Litigation is the most expensive option and often drags out in the courtroom, depending on how much each side is willing to fight over assets or children.

Mediation and arbitration have their own benefits and both options help you avoid litigation. However, every situation is unique.

To explore your option, discuss the details of your pending divorce with an experienced adviser. With the help of a family law attorney in Wilmington, NC, you can analyze alternatives to divorce or litigation and find a solution that best fits your needs.

Call us today or send us an email to discuss your best option, we are here to help.

Divorce in North Carolina in 5 Minutes

Sat, 18 May 2019 12:10:13 GMT

No one plans to end a marriage in divorce, but it happens. Divorces aren’t just difficult on a personal level; they also raise a range of financial and legal questions. For couples living in the state of North Carolina, this guide will show how matters such as child custody, child support, alimony, and property division are handled during a divorce.

Eligibility Requirements

Before filing for a divorce in North Carolina, you must live in the state for six consecutive months. More importantly, though, you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse must have lived apart for one full year beforehand. Though there’s a $225 filing fee, you can request to have it waived if it’s unaffordable.

Grounds for a North Carolina Divorce

Though you don’t have to give a reason for wanting a divorce, fault is relevant in limited circumstances. Known as a divorce from bed and board, this allows the court to order a separation before the divorce becomes final. Judges will consider a divorce from bed and board in these instances:

· Abandonment

· A forced departure from the marital home

· Cruel and intolerable treatment

· Adultery

· Substance abuse problems

After you’ve lived apart from your spouse for one year, you can file for a divorce in North Carolina. The first thing to do is to file a complaint with the clerk of the county court. From there, the sheriff’s office will serve the complaint to the other party.

Dividing Assets During a Divorce

The state considers property acquired by either spouse during the marriage to be marital property, which means that spouses have equal rights to it during the process. Any debts amassed during the marriage are included in the marital estate as well. Conversely, any assets inherited or obtained before a marriage are considered separate, being owned only by the person who acquired it. In most divorces, property is divided equally between spouses, but the courts will consider the following factors to ensure an equitable distribution .

· Both parties’ income

· The spouses’ assets and debts

· Their spousal and child support obligations from previous marriages

· The duration of the marriage

· Who remains in the family home

· How hard each spouse worked to earn the asset in question

· The liquidity of an asset

The courts don’t consider the reasons for the divorce during the division of property. The only time these actions are considered is if a spouse’s misconduct diminished the value of the marital estate.

Child Custody, Child Support, and Spousal Support

In the state of North Carolina, both parents are legally and financially responsible for their children’s support, regardless of who has custody. A non-custodial parent must continue to make support payments until the child reaches the age of 18, or age 20 for children in secondary school. The state’s laws also allow for alimony or spousal support, and the courts consider these factors:

· Spouses’ marital misconduct

· Both spouses’ earning potential

· Both spouses’ health and age

· Income sources

· Either spouse’s support for the other’s education and career

· The effects of child custody on either spouse’s income potential

Divorce and child custody are separate but equally important matters, and a “victory” in one area doesn’t mean that you’ll prevail in another.

The Bottom Line

To get a divorce in North Carolina, you must live separately from your spouse for a year and be a resident for at least six months before filing. Though spouses’ actions don’t matter during the division or property, they may be relevant when child custody and spousal support are determined. A local family lawyer will be able to give you the legal guidance you need.

Divorce vs Legal Separation

Mon, 04 Mar 2019 01:19:56 GMT

You may be wondering what the difference between legal separation and divorce in North Carolina is. A divorce is the final judgement that dissolves a marriage, while a separation can often be reversed simply by entering into a new agreement with a partner and/or going back to living together as married spouses.

To obtain a full divorce in North Carolina, the legal parties involved must have been separated for at least one year before applying for a divorce with the court. Married couples are considered to be “legally separated” in North Carolina at the point where they move into separate residences with at least one person intending to remain suspended on an indefinite basis. During this separation period and before requesting a divorce, the spouses may agree upon things related to divorce such as spousal support, property division, child custody, and child support. There are no requirements that state either party has to proceed with a divorce after the year passes. However, one spouse cannot prevent the other from trying to process a divorce as long as the separation has lasted for at least a year.

Legal separations work differently in North Carolina than they do in other states.

For example, it is rare to find an actual decree of legal separation from the courts in North Carolina after one spouse moves home. In order to obtain this, one spouse must prove that the other spouse committed a marital fault. However, achieving a “legal separation” is possible through negotiating and agreeing to a separation agreement with your spouse.

Separation agreements are private agreements – not submitted to a court – between spouses where they agree that they will begin living separately apart from one another. These contracts also generally cover how spouses will divide up their property and debts and handle spousal support. Spouses may also agree on child support and child custody in such a separation agreement.

An alternative way to go about things is to incorporate the child custody and support terms into an agreement that is then submitted to a presiding family court judge to approve. These agreements are known as “Consent Court Orders” upon being entered by the judge.

A legal separation that has been established by a contract where the spouses involved agree to live separately, but not necessarily get divorced at any time, can often be reversed just by the parties involved returning to their martial relationship and living together again. Typically, these separation agreements contain language that states the agreement will become null and void in terms of any terms that haven’t been carried out already if the parties involved return to their living together as a married couple. It’s important these agreements are drafted and written carefully as the effects of a separation agreement, in particular what happens in the event the couple reconciles, varies depending on the terms and written language of the legal contract.

Here are the most common reasons that couples choose to stay legally separated instead of filing for a divorce;

Religious Reasons

Some couples choose to remain married despite being separated for moral and/or religious reasons. Legal separation offers a viable alternative to divorce as long as neither party wants to remarry and enter a new relationship.

Children

Divorce brings about it many lifestyle changes, some of which are particularly difficult on children. As such, some couples choose to remain separated and delay their actual divorce until children are better mentally prepared for how it will change their home and their lives.

Time and Perspective

A legal separation can help if a couple is unsure that divorce is the way to go. They provide space and give a couple time to think. It gives them a taste of independent life and helps them decide if this is really what they want. Spouses are able to change their mind whenever they want while they remain legally separated. Separations can offer the clarity necessary to make the final decision about whether or not the marriage can be reconciled or if divorce is the only option.

N.C. Gen. Stat. § 52-10.1 outlines the execution of separation agreements. For any of the cases listed above, these agreements can clarify how child support and custody will be managed, as well as how property will be divided, who is responsible for marital debts, and spousal support obligations.

Divorce might be the better option for couples in North Carolina that know that reconciliation is unlikely to happen or is not the desired outcome after spending a year legally separated. Here are some of the reasons that divorce may be the preferred option over an indefinite legal separation in North Carolina;

Certainty

When both parties are resolved to end the marriage and begin anew, opting to get divorced may be better than staying legally separated in the long-term.

Wanting to Date and/or Remarry

If either spouse wishes to remarry then they will require a full legal divorce. Additionally, being in a relationship with someone else might influence how a judge awards custody in the event that one parent allows their lover to stay the night while they have the children with them.

No matter how a couple chooses to proceed, they must have been separated for at least a year before they are able to file for divorce. However, there may be a time when individuals would prefer to stay legally separated instead of divorcing. If you would prefer to be legally separated, then you may want to have a separation agreement written up. If you need any help at all with a separation agreement or divorce, or just need any advice or an informed opinion on which choice would be best for you, then you should consult an experienced family law attorney.

There are some complex legal questions involved when deciding to be separated or get divorced in North Carolina. While your friends and family no doubt have their own opinions to share, the decision is a personal one and everyone has their own unique situations. Be sure to take the time to understand the advantages and disadvantages of being separated and divorced. The more you know the more informed of a decision you can make, and the better your prospects for having a favorable outcome when everything is said and done.

Key Factors in Choosing the best divorce attorney

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 22:16:50 GMT

Going through a divorce can be a very emotional and challenging time for anyone’s life. No one really wants to split up and stop a relationship, but more often than not various differences will stand out and they will lead to such an issue. When that happens, it’s a very good idea to hire the best divorce attorney you can find. This way you will get to enter the process with a vetted expert on your side. The divorce attorney will handle all proceedings in a professional manner and he will also act as your confidant, spokesperson, and advisor as well.
But picking the best divorce attorney is not the simplest thing to do out there. The reason is simple, they have to know the law very well, but they also need to explain it to you. They also need to be very professional too. And there are many other things to keep in mind when you pick an attorney for your divorce case. Here you can find some of the most important criteria to consider when you want to hire the best divorce attorney.

Research as much as possible
Doing your research is half the job most of the time. It’s a good idea to know the type of divorce lawyer that you want. Do you need one that’s very experienced? Or is it a more straightforward case and a less experienced attorney will do the trick? Obviously, money will be a concern here, vetted professionals will cost a lot more. So you really have to put all these things into perspective as you try to find the best value and results in the entire process. It can totally be worth it, you just need to find the right approach.
Evaluate their temperament to see if they can actually provide solutions or not. You want someone that knows how to work with you, which will help you and come up with actual solutions that you can use. If they just state ideal things and not focus on action, results might not be that good.

Understand your needs and go with a small firm if needed
A lot of people believe that working with the top tier, large law firms is the best way to win a divorce. But many times the best divorce attorney will be found in smaller firms. That’s because these firms have attorneys without a ton of experience and they are always willing to learn and also improve themselves. They always work on their skills and they are well-prepared to handle any possible challenge that comes in their way. That doesn’t mean it will be a walk in the park every time, but it’s definitely a lot easier than many other challenges you encounter.
You have to understand that smaller companies are just as good at offering a very good value for the money. And the good thing is that you can even get a more personalized experience. Higher tier companies won’t care for you as much as the smaller ones, that’s a fact. So you really need to make sure that you give the smaller companies a try just as much. It will end up being well worth the effort, especially if you put the work into it.

Don’t Hesitate to Ask Around
Word of mouth is and always has been one of the best ways to find services. It really works if you know two to ask. It’s a good idea to ask people that you can trust. Maybe some of them wanted to find the best divorce attorney and they did work with someone that delivered good results. You can also ask on various websites for recommendations. It’s a good idea to consider as there’s nothing to lose most of the time.

Check Online Reviews
You can also enter online databases to check lawyers in your area. See their area of expertise and you should be able to find the best divorce attorney. It’s always important to understand how to react and how to tackle the entire process as much as possible. Do stay away from the very negative comments that don’t really come with some proof to back them up. Usually, the best and most helpful reviews are the objective ones that give you both the pros and cons.
Regardless of the situation, you can still approach the attorney to see what they can do for you. Connecting with them is essential, because you can end up getting some amazing results all the time if you do so.

Stay in Touch
Once you connected with a good lawyer, stay in touch with them. Finding the best divorce attorney is really hard, so if you found a good and reliable professional you have to stay in touch. Send them an email or call, ask them about the progress and so on. The best divorce attorney will never be too busy to talk with you. That’s what you want to find, a reliable professional that really knows how to work with you and how to offer you the best possible value and quality on the market.

Read The Fine Print
It’s important to know all the agreement information and what it entails. You also want to check things like expenses, hourly rates and any other things that might terminate the agreement. Usually, it’s a good idea to read the agreement thoroughly before signing. You want to know all the terms and avoid them as much as possible. That’s what really matters the most in the end.
As you can see, picking the best divorce attorney is all about knowing what you want and knowing where to look. Try to enter as many forums and boards as possible, study lawyer databases in your area and ask for recommendations. This will make it a lot easier for you to find the right divorce attorney that suit your needs. Use all these tips and you will have no problem getting the right service and value you expect!

A Divorce Attorney Represents Clients When a Parent Wants to Move Far Away With the Kids

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 21:46:25 GMT

Contentious issues can arise when a married couple splits up. When the person who is expected to have primary physical custody of the children wants to move hundreds of miles away, the other parent may want to find a legal way to prevent this. Each spouse will need a Divorce Attorney for legal representation. One wants to succeed in the effort to move away, while the other wants to make sure this cannot happen.

Primary Physical Custody
This attempt to block the move does not necessarily mean the parent wants to have or feasibly can manage primary physical custody. The other parent may be better suited for this for various reasons. The noncustodial parent may need to travel for work regularly, for example. This person may work nights, requiring overnight child care, whereas the other parent could be home with the kids.

Establishing Favorable Aspects
If the case proceeds to court, the Divorce Attorney for the custodial parent will establish favorable aspects of the move. Will it improve the life of the children? Will they have better educational opportunities? Will the custodial parent be able to earn substantially more money?

Not in Their Best Interest
In contrast, the other attorney practicing family law will want to show that this change of residence will not be in the best interests of the youngsters. For instance, they may be well-established in their schools and have strong friendships. They may have grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins in the immediate area.

Long-Distance Visitation
Before approving the move, the court will want to see a visitation arrangement that provides a significant amount of time for the other parent and the children to be together. That may include scheduled video chats as part of the agreement. Once court-ordered visitation is in place, the custodial parent is not legally allowed to interfere with or undermine the arrangement.

Concluding Thoughts
Regarding hiring a Divorce Attorney Wilmington, NC residents want a lawyer who looks out for their best interests. The lawyer does what it takes within the realm of ethical and legal procedures to obtain a favorable outcome for the client.

Grandparents’ visitation & child custody rights in Wilmington, North Carolina

Fri, 11 Jan 2019 14:42:02 GMT

If you are a grandparent and you live in North Carolina, you have to keep in mind that there are limited rights when it comes to getting custody or visitation rights for your grandkids. As you can imagine, the Child Custody Wilmington, NC situation can be a bit tricky, depending on the situation.

Most of the time grandparents can choose to visit their grandkids when the parents are divorcing and there’s an open lawsuit for that. But depending on the situation, the grandparent also has the opportunity to seek custody of his/her grandkids. Usually, this happens when the grandkids are neglected, left in a dangerous environment by their parents or just abandoned to begin with. The possibility to acquire Child Custody Wilmington, NC is there, but there are a few layers to that.
Can grandparents visit their grandkids?

Most of the time they do that, however it all comes down to various visitation-related issues that might appear. It’s important to make a visitation claim as fast as possible, otherwise you might lose the right to visit them, and you want to avoid that as fast as possible. North Carolina also allows grandparents to push for child custody and there are 4 statutes that support such a thing.
Basically, if your child and his former spouse have a lawsuit in court, you can try to get visitation rights. This will help you figure out when you can actively visit your grandkids and the court might even offer a certain visitation schedule based on the situation at hand.

Visitation and custody rights
As you can imagine, the Child Custody Wilmington, NC rights are different when compared to the visitation rights. According to the basic laws, grandparents are allowed to seek visitation rights only when the custody case is currently going on. After the two parents reach an agreement, grandparents will not be able to ask for any visitation rights. Instead they will have to succumb to the agreement between the two parties.
It’s a very good idea to contact us right away to ensure that you make an informed decision when it comes to visiting your grandkids, finding the right visitation schedule and also maintaining a close relationship with them.
As you can imagine, it’s a lot harder for a grandparent to seek custody rights when it comes to visitation rights. Most of the time the court will need proof that both parents are unable to take good care of their kids if there are any abuse situations going on and so on. If there’s no open case at that time, the best option is to seek custody.

Conclusion
It all comes down to showing that the child is abandoned, no one is taking good care of him, and you are the only one that you can offer the help, assistance, and support that child needs. In the end, if the DSS is not taking the grandchild away from their parents, the grandparents will not get custody rights. It’s important to acquire visitation rights first, and if the child is abandoned by his parents, you can go ahead and appeal for the child custody rights!

5 Mistakes Women Make After A Divorce

Mon, 05 Nov 2018 15:51:56 GMT

Now that we’ve covered what you need to do during the divorce, let’s go ahead and see what should you do after the divorce becomes official.

1. Stop victimizing yourself
If you start looking at yourself as a victim, your actions will serve as a confirmation of that negative picture. That’s why we’d recommend focusing on your strength instead. That way you’ll be helping yourself cope with whatever comes next. Stop obsessing about the choices you’ve made in past and focus on making better ones in the future.

2. Protect yourself
You should consider hiring a lawyer or a mediator that will help you with protecting your assets. The best person for this matter, in our opinion, is the divorce Attorney Wilmington. That way you won’t be by yourself and feeling lost in all those terms set by the divorce. Having a good lawyer or mediator will make it so much easier for you during the times right after the divorce.

3. Don’t rush into relationships
The most common mistake women make right after a divorce is of an emotional nature. Basically, they rush into relationships and skip all the steps that are essential in order to maintain control over their love life. We’re not saying there’s no room for rebound relationships. In fact, these might help out. However, we’d recommend taking things slow and in the dating field. Naturally, you’ll need some time to heal after a divorce. So let yourself heal properly before getting into the next relationship.

4. Stay positive
Although a divorce is a hurtful thing, it’s messed up and filled with anger and pain, you shouldn’t let yourself fall into despair. You need to keep it together. So start using positive thinking and believe in yourself. Perhaps you can start a new hobby or take up a new interest. Dedicate yourself to blossoming and don’t let the divorce get the best out of you.

5. Start over
You’re starting over, alright? This might sound dreadful to you now, but you should look at this as the new opportunity to have a better life! Starting over means having a chance to make wiser decisions, meet better people and be loved more! So don’t be afraid to start over.

Final Thoughts
The main cause of all mistakes that women make after or during a divorce is the fact that they don’t feel worthy of love anymore. That is heartbreaking! These women put their husbands and their needs before their own. Afterward, they’ve put their children’s needs before their own as well. Essentially, they have never had time to put themselves first.

What they should do is speak up. They absolutely have to speak their minds. The majority of women ask themselves after a divorce whether things would have ended the same had they spoken up. And while asking these questions won’t turn back the time, it will be a nice pointer to how a woman needs to act in future.

If you’ve been a victim of your own silence, take your divorce as a chance and as a lesson. And don’t go through it by yourself . Surround yourself with people you love being with. Also, get yourself an attorney as good as our divorce attorney in Wilmington,NC . Once you do that, you’ll be in control of your life.

There’s no need to rush things or push yourself too much. We’ve mentioned this already but let’s reiterate — you must let yourself heal. Soon enough, you’ll restore your faith in love. Don’t be hard on yourself, mistakes are a part of life. Take that part and learn from it. That’s our recipe for success.

If your divorce is still in progress, check out this helpful article 5 Mistakes Women Make During Divorce.

5 Mistakes Women Make During Divorce

Wed, 24 Oct 2018 20:10:54 GMT

It's tough to talk about going through a divorce. It goes without saying how tough it is to actually experience it. Nevertheless, it's a topic we need to discuss because there are numerous mistakes women make during or after their divorce. What’s more, we’ve found a certain pattern in these mistakes.

One of the worst possible mistakes is that they choose to do it all by themselves. And while that seems like a good idea to them, it ends up hurting them even more. That’s why it’s essential to have someone that would guide them through this experience. Someone who knows the deal. And there’s no one better at that than the Divorce Attorney in Wilmington.

In order to try and help avoid these, we’ve made a list of 5 mistakes women make during or after their divorce. Make yourself comfortable, and keep on reading! If you have made some of these mistakes already, don't sweat it.

We’ll start with the 5 most common mistakes we’ve seen women make during divorce and what to do to avoid these pitfalls.

Not getting help
Isolation
Blaming
Not getting legal help
Being Rash

What To Do Instead?

1. Get help to cope with the process of divorce

Let’s face it, divorce is stressful, painful and an overall emotionally draining experience. In order to cope with it properly, we’d recommend getting therapy for you and your children as well. Hiring a professional will help you feel less alone, and it will minimize the impact of this painful situation you’re in.

2. Don’t isolate yourself

It might be hard to find comfort and support from your family or friends as there may be a situation in which they’ll be taking sides. However, this doesn’t mean that you should isolate yourself. In fact, if you start keeping all your problems and frustrations to yourself, you’ll eventually have an inevitable breakdown. In order to prevent that from happening, go ahead and surround yourself with people who understand you and can relate to your current condition.

3. Don’t play the blame game

No matter who filed for divorce, whether it was your partner or you, there’s no time to blame anyone. Women tend to blame themselves for the failure of their marriage. And that’s what can lead them straight to emotional hell. It will eventually trap them in the past and keep their emotions bottled up. That’s a scenario we don’t want to see anymore. Instead, every single woman out there should keep her head up and look forward to the future. Thinking about the past won’t get you anywhere. So look ahead and take one step at a time. Everything will turn out just fine.

4. Get someone to help you with the legal stuff

While fighting to keep yourself sane through the process of getting a divorce, it might be a bit too much to take care of all the legal procedures. That’s why we recommend you consult a mediator or a lawyer. You need to have someone that will think of your assets and take care of your marital splittings. In this case, we hope that you will consider working with us as your Divorce Attorney here in Wilmington .

5. Don’t make rash decisions

Women tend to define themselves only with the help of their romantic relationships. That’s why going through a divorce is pure hell for them. They start fearing they’ll end up all alone. So they are likely to rush into a new romantic relationship right away. That’s a cry for help. It’s a cry for attention and comfort. As a result, they won’t be able to let their wounds heal, and they won’t be able to have a healthy relationship .

In addition to that, it’s quite common for those that are getting a divorce to get attracted to the people who are similar to their ex-partners. However, once they grow through their experience of separating from someone, they will eventually learn to look for something else. Essentially, they will realize that they should look for partners that will act differently from the previous ones. They will take the divorce as a learning experience and that’s the only right way to look at it.

Conclusion
We understand that this is not easy and we are here to help you get the legal counsel that will help you navigate these days to come. Please reach out to us if you have any questions.

How to Respond If Your Spouse Starts to Spy on You

Fri, 12 Oct 2018 14:50:15 GMT

Most of the time, we never see it coming. How could a relationship that once made us feel so good turn so sour? Whether you and your partner are engaging in shouting matches, or worse, fostering a steely silence — you could feel that your relationship is crumbling. Obviously, this is never a good feeling — and you’ll definitely want the best divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC on your side in case people become petty.

One of the most hurtful things that can happen as a divorce is approaching is to have your spouse start spying on you. So let’s talk about how you’ll be able to tell if they’re spying, as well as which methods they might be employing. While some methods of spying are, in fact, legal, some are definitely not. We are able to advise you on which steps you need to take to ensure your safety

Reasons Your Partner May Spy on You

Simply listing the reasons why a spouse might spy on you is in no way an excuse or an endorsement. If your partner is spying on you, you’re probably feeling pretty hurt. After all, a partner is most likely to spy on you if they don’t trust you anymore. More specifically, they may suspect that you’re cheating on them.

They’re Paranoid or Controlling

Spying is often caused by a spouse’s paranoia. If you’ve cheated in previous relationships, or even in your current one, they may believe that you’d do it again. If you are, in fact, cheating, you could be leaving all sorts of breadcrumbs. Think of the suspicious calls your spouse may have overheard, even when you thought you were alone, or messages they may have glimpsed at. Not to mention, if they have access to your bank accounts, any odd expenses.

Similarly, if they’re investing in you financially, helping you go to college, or helping your business, they’d want to ensure that you’re using their investment wisely. Like we have already mentioned, most spouses are just insecure and need to reassure themselves of your fidelity and honesty. This is still not great, and the situation may actually call for couples therapy , at the very least. However, it’s also good to have a great divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC on speed dial as well.

A much more dangerous alternative is if your partner is controlling, or they’ve been known to get violent. In this case, you’ll need to be extremely careful and get to a safe house as soon as possible. A relationship in which one partner needs to know every detail of the other’s life is sure to become toxic soon, if it hasn’t already.

In fact, your partner has probably approached you with their suspicions. If they’re fairly confident that you’re lying to them, you may get served with divorce papers. In that case, you should look into finding a good divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC. Fortunately, here at the Law Office of Erin E. Russell, we’re ready and able to advise you every step of the way.

They Might Be Trying to Protect You

Alternatively, you may have had a history of drug and alcohol abuse. So your partner could simply be trying to make sure that you haven’t slipped. Addicts often tend to associate with dangerous people and make ill-advised financial decisions. If you haven’t slipped off the wagon, and you suspect that your spouse thinks that you have — it might be best to simply talk to them.

Losing your partner’s trust without having done anything is incredibly hurtful. However, if you’ve had previous substance abuse problems, your partner may be trying to protect you. On the other hand, if they’re considering divorce, they may also be fishing for any bad influences or even criminal acts that could make it easier for them in court.

Legal Advantages During a Divorce or a Custody Battle

Whether or not you’ve done something to “provoke” your spouse’s actions, you may be wondering how their findings will affect divorce proceedings in North Carolina. Fortunately, a divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC is the perfect person to answer that question.

Essentially, in Wilmington, the court decides which spouse gets alimony and how much they ought to receive. Different factors are taken into consideration, such as each person’s average earnings and even marital misconduct . Of course, marital misconduct can mean various things, depending on the state.

In North Carolina, it can be adultery or a history of abuse. Both of these things can influence the court’s decision on how much alimony the dependent spouse is entitled to. They also influence the amount that’s added for potential child support. Now, if both partners cheated, the judge might even deny alimony — or they may still appoint it, depending on the circumstances. And if the spouses forgave each other for their indiscretions, the court may disregard them entirely.

Affairs don’t affect how the court decides to split a couple’s property among them. However, if one partner put significant funds into their affair, the court may also consider the affair when dividing property. After all, the property might now include any expensive gifts or apartments the cheating spouse purchased for their lover.

In fact, if a person uncovered an affair while spying on their partner, they could also sue their spouse’s lover. In North Carolina, they can sue for the loss of affection in a marriage, mental anguish, humiliation, loss of financial support (after the couple splits), and health damages. If your spouse is experiencing physical consequences of stress because of your affair, they might sue their ex’s lover for the cost of the medical bills as well.

How Can You Protect Yourself If Your Partner Is Spying on You?

In today’s digital age, there are so many ways your partner could be keeping their eye on you. Other than physically following you (or hiring someone to follow you) or bugging you, they could also be watching you over Wi-Fi cameras, and checking your texts, emails, and social media accounts. If you no longer feel safe around your spouse and suspect that they may be spying on you, there are certain steps you can take to protect yourself.

As a top divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC, Erin E. Russell will be able to advise you if you come in with any questions. However, there are some tips that are universally applicable. For example, it’s always good to be vigilant, but especially so if you believe that you’re being followed. Take note of everything around you, maybe even write down which cars you’re seeing. You can also write down license plates and check for discrepancies.

Implement some safety checks while you’re driving and always switch up your routine. If you’re seeing the same person or car slow down or speed up when you do, you may be in trouble. But nowadays, you should be much more careful around your electronic devices.

Computer and Phone Spying

Like we have mentioned, you need to understand how you can protect your digital life. If you suspect that your spouse has your email and social media passwords, change them. Make them complicated, use random numbers and letters. Most importantly, avoid obvious passwords your spouse could guess. Also, secure your personal computer and smartphone, and make sure that you’re not leaving your computer still logged into your accounts.

Once you’ve eliminated all of the easy ways for your spouse to keep track of you, they may use more complicated ones. You’ll want to keep track of the software on your computer and any new apps on your phone. This goes without saying, but don’t open strange emails that may seem like spam. You may accidentally download spyware. Keystroke logging programs, for example, will allow your spouse to see every letter you type. That may allow them access into every one of your accounts. And they’ll be able to see potentially incriminating correspondence.

Do You Need a Divorce Lawyer in Wilmington, NC?

If you’re already certain that your spouse is spying on you, you might be in need of the services of a divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC. Fortunately, we can help. But before it gets to that, there are some other responses you could try if you’re not ready to let go of your marriage.

If your spouse is unjustifiably insecure, it may be good to just explain what’s been going on. Perhaps try to talk about the source of their insecurity. Or simply allow them access to your accounts. That way, they’ll be able to see for themselves that they don’t have a reason to worry. The same response is appropriate if your spouse is trying to make sure you’re maintaining your sobriety. However, couples counseling might be a good idea as well.

Finally, if your spouse is controlling or abusive, or simply looking for an advantage during the divorce proceedings and they won’t be reasoned with, your only option is to protect yourself. You could keep protecting yourself against spyware and switch up your routine to discourage following. Basically, you’d be trying to outlast your spouse and hope that they give up. However, if your spouse is persistent, it may be time to terminate the marriage.

This is an incredibly difficult decision to make, but it might be better in the long run. If you decide that your relationship isn’t worth holding on to, you’ll need the services of the best divorce lawyer in Wilmington, NC. Fortunately, you’ll find one in the Law Office of Erin E. Russell, where we’ll try to make your transition as easy as possible. And if you decide that your spouse has crossed the line, you could report them to the police and file a restraining order.

A Vengeful Divorce Makes Things Worse On Everyone

Mon, 17 Sep 2018 18:03:56 GMT

These are the pitfalls that will keep you from multiplying the pain and suffering that can come from a divorce.

The period leading up to or after a divorce can be harder to deal with than the divorce process itself. Some people feel the urge to act in a way that is hurtful to the other party. Indeed it is understandable how this could be very tempting. However, that never brings long-term content, and it’s simply unhealthy for the mind. Though it’s usually justified as a one-time revenge, the end result is often an endless chain of overreactions between the parties involved. When in doubt about anything that may influence the divorce process, it’s best to contact your divorce attorney in Wilmington.

Don’t do it!

Building up negative thoughts and stress is definitely the last thing someone going through a divorce needs. But we recognize one’s ignorance of the possible consequences during that period. Below are examples as to why seeking vengeance is a bad idea.

1. Don't Become Greedy
Don't let the, "I'm a victim, so I deserve extra compensation," infect your thinking. If your main focus becomes money, things are going to get ugly fast. Money will be a part of the divorce process, but getting greedy can prolong things and will just bring out the worst. You may get some more money out of the process, or it could backfire on you. Don't compromise your integrity just because you are rightfully angry. If children are involved consider how making the focus on money will effect them. Your divorce attorney will be there to make sure that things are fair.

2. Public and Social Embarrassment
More often than not, people going through a divorce feel the need to convince others that they are the ones who have been wronged. However, publicly belittling their spouse will never make them look better in other people’s eyes. Also, many of us have seen some troubling divorce drama on Social Media . This is a bad idea. When your emotion are inflamed, you are likely to say and share things that you should not and will later regret. So stay away from social media bashing.

3. Leaving Suddenly
To someone feeling oppressed in marriage, the thought of packing their things and leaving may seem liberating. But the other party certainly won’t appreciate the sight of a half-empty home.

4. Falsely accusing the other party of child abuse
Any type of false accusation is illegal. Furthermore, having their parent falsely accused of child abuse will affect the children themselves. However, if there’s any real reason to believe your spouse is guilty of child maltreatment, please contact your divorce attorney in Wilmington .

5. Getting the other party fired
If the other party doesn’t have a job, they’re unable to provide spousal support or child support . It will also affect our next example.

6. Canceling the credit cards
In some states, the law prevents the partners from canceling their joint credit cards when they file for divorce. An agreement between them is necessary. Some of the options are paying off the debt or dividing it and transferring it to cards in each partner’s name.

7. Moving out of state with the children
Moving out of state with the children is also illegal in some states. But that isn’t the only reason it’s a wrong thing to do. At any age, children are more aware of the events around them than most people give them credit for. Furthermore, this will hurt the other party as well.

Divorce is rarely a smooth process, don't make it worse.

Emotions run high and every conflict between the parties involved is magnified. However, a good divorce is better than a bad marriage. In order to achieve that, we strongly recommend consulting a divorce attorney in Wilmington. Doing so is the way to spare both parties the consequences they might not have foreseen.

The Definitive Guide to Gray Divorce

Thu, 05 Jul 2018 20:21:28 GMT

The Issues Surrounding Divorcing After 50

What is “Gray Divorce”?
“Gray Divorce” is a phrase that refers to a divorce involving people over 50 years old and are generally part of the Baby Boomer generation. In this helpful guide, I will discuss and unravel some of the important issues surrounding Gray Divorce . While there has been a reduction in overall divorce rates in the past 20 years, the divorce rate of people aged over 50 has doubled in this time. The increase in older divorces was given the unfortunate term of Gray Divorce.

Origins of the Gray Divorce
Around a quarter of all the divorces in 2010 involved couples that were aged 50 or older, which is double the divorce rate for this age group from 1990. These statistics have led to some people coning the term “Gray Divorce”, and also created a need for middle-aged and older people to gain a better understanding of the unique issues associated with divorcing at an older age.

Understanding Gray Divorce
It can be complicated to end a marriage later in life. Most couples won’t be prepared for the practical considerations and unique legal issues there are for older people, and that can be daunting, to say the least. The financial implications , in particular, are far-reaching and may significantly impact the rest of the lives of both spouses.

The most concerning issues of Gray Divorce are insurance, healthcare, retirement savings, business interests, estate planning, social security, and taxes. This guide has been put together to offer some insight into those issues for people who are older and are considering or dealing with, a divorce.

Why do People Get Divorced Later in Life?

Each divorce has unique circumstances, but there are several trends that contribute to the Gray Divorce phenomenon.

- Divorce Repeating Itself
Second, third, or even fourth marriages are not uncommon when it comes to baby boomers, and these marriages tend to be less successful. The divorce rate for people over fifty who have been married more than once is over twice as high as those who were married just the once. Remarried people over 64 years old have been shown to have a divorce rate of nearly four times that of people who have only been married once.

- Postponed Divorces
Many couples choose to stay together for the sake of their children. Couples may want to get a divorce but will wait until their children have grown up. They aren’t satisfied with the marriage, but they wait until the children have been raised to do something about it.

- Empty Nesters
Some other married couples find that their marriage isn’t strong enough to survive once their children grow up and leave the house.

- Retirement
When someone retires, it causes a dramatic lifestyle shift that can negatively affect a marriage. Some retired couples discover that spending more time together doesn’t bring them more happiness, or that their personal interests in retirement don’t match up and they are just no longer compatible.

- Financial Reasons
Many people will wait until they have financial stability to get a divorce . This is most common with women, but the times may be changing. Women aged between 40 and 69 are the ones initiating a divorce 66% of the time. This could be a sign that women in this age range are more financially independent than before, or just feel it.

- General Dissatisfaction
The general attitudes to divorce are becoming more relaxed than ever. With more people getting divorced, holding off retirement, and living longer, it may simply be that people aged over 50 that are dissatisfied with their marriage find it easier than before to go through with a divorce.

Looking For a Different Alternative?

The Issues Surrounding Divorcing After 50

This guide will look at some of the unique considerations for divorcing later in life. This includes several important issues, including:
• Retirement
• Income and Spousal Support
• Social Security
• Insurance
• Division of Assets
• Competency
• Adult Children
• Long-Term Considerations
• Long-Term Care
• Estate planning
The following is a quick reference guide to these unique issues surrounding Gray Divorce that need to be considered.

1 Retirement
Divorcing close to retirement can leave each spouse having a less comfortable retirement once everything has been settled. Perhaps you need to access retirement funds early. You may have to make decisions about increasing retirement savings, delaying retirement, or having a different lifestyle than expected after retiring.

2 Income and Spousal Support
When marriages end, especially long-term marriages, there will be issues surrounding income. How are spouses going to maintain income streams? Will they be expected to join the workforce, paying/receiving spousal support as alimony, or splitting a fixed income for retirees?

3 Social Security
There are some cases where spouses are entitled to benefits based on the social security of their spouse, depending on the income of each spouse and how long the marriage lasted for. Getting remarried stops spousal social security benefits.

4 Insurance
When it comes to Gray Divorce, the age of the people involved will cause issues around health and life insurance that must be addressed. That includes the ability of individuals to afford their health insurance. It may be possible to remain on a spouse’s health insurance plan by going through a legal separation rather than a divorce.

5 Division of Assets
A divorce later in life will generally involve more significant assets. Dividing property , both community, and separate property, is subject to a number of considerations that are unique to the issue of Gray Divorce. This includes how close the individuals are to retirement, how long they were married, and other factors.

6 Competency
The older people get, the greater the chance that competency is something that will affect their ability to represent their individual best interests. In these situations, an attorney or court may want to have a competency period and put together measurements to protect the rights of people that are found to be not competent.

7 Long-Term Considerations
The issues surrounding aging, such as dealing with long-term care and preparing for last wishes, should be considered for a Gray Divorce. It’s recommended you keep your estate plan updated before, during, and after the divorce. It’s also recommended that you plan the costs and provisions of long-term medical care if necessary.

I hope this article has been been helpful in clarifying some of the issues related to Gray Divorce. Please let me know what you think or if you have any questions.

Russell Family Law & Litigation Blog

7 Common Misconceptions About Separation & Divorce in North Carolina

Misconception 1: You're Not "Actually" Separated Unless You Sign Something

Misconception 2: Both Parties Have to Agree to the Divorce

Misconception 3: I Have to Wait a Year to File for Equitable Distribution or Alimony

Misconception 4: I'll Get Everything Because My Spouse Cheated

Misconception 5: Everything Is in My Spouse's Name, So I Get Nothing

Misconception 6: Divorce Means Going to Court

Misconception 7: The Courts Favor Mothers in Custody Cases

Final Thoughts

Blended Families: Legal Tips When Remarrying or Partnering

Shared Custody Schedules That Actually Work

What Happens to Business Interests During Divorce?

Coping with the Emotional Side of Family Law Cases

1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling

2. Focus on What You Can Control

3. Build a Strong Support System

4. Take Care of Your Physical Health

5. Keep Perspective on the Future

6. Lean on Your Attorney for Guidance

Long-Distance Parenting: Making Custody Work Across States

Can I Modify My Custody Order in North Carolina?

Should I Post That? How Social Media Can Affect Your Family Law Case in North Carolina

What is a Postnuptial Agreement?

What Is Discovery and How Can I Use It?

How are 529 Plans Handled in Divorce?

N.C. Gen. Stat. 50-20 defines marital, separate, and divisible property as follows:

Do North Carolina Courts Consider Marital Misconduct?

Navigating Holiday Stress During Divorce: Tips for Families

1. Financial Pressures

2. Emotional Strain on Children

3. Loneliness or Isolation

4. Co-Parenting Tensions

5. Managing Extended Family Expectations

What Should Parents Know about Child Custody in North Carolina?

Types of Child Custody in North Carolina

Physical Custody

Legal Custody

Sole Legal and Physical Custody:

Visitation Rights

Temporary Custody

How Custody Decisions Are Made

Mediation Requirement:

Conclusion

Grandparent Visitation in North Carolina

Do Grandparents have rights to visitation with their grandchildren in North Carolina?

How Can I Get Visitation with My Grandchild?

To Learn More, Contact Us Today!

Co-parenting

Books for Children

Therapists and Counselors

Support Groups for Children

Mobile Apps

Books and Guides for Parents

Do I Really Need a Separation Agreement?

Why You Should File a Separation Agreement for Every Separation

What Is a Separation Agreement?

What Can a Separation Agreement Determine?

Division of Property

Distribution of Personal Possessions

Health Insurance Coverage

Vehicle Ownership

Pet Ownership

Joint Accounts and Credit Cards

Final Thoughts

Do I Need a Lawyer for My Child Support Claim?

How to File a Support Claim for Child Support in North Carolina

How North Carolina Child Support Laws Work

How North Carolina Child Support Is Calculated

How to Request Child Support ﻿

The Consequences of Refusing to Pay Child Support

Final Thoughts

Who Gets the Pet During a Divorce?

Custody of Pets During a Divorce

States With Pet Custody Laws ﻿

Law in North Carolina

Should You Set Up a Pet Custody Schedule?

Getting a Divorce During a Recession

The Effects of a Recession on Divorce

How Recession Impacts Marriage and Divorce

How to Request Child Support

States With Pet Custody Laws