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5 Things To Do Before You Divorce

Russell Family Law & Litigation • Aug 26, 2020

5 North Carolina Divorce Tips

Man taking off his wedding ring

A divorce is a complicated matter regardless of where you live. Just like every other state, North Carolina has its own set of divorce laws that you will need to watch out for. The last thing you will want is for a technicality to end up costing you dearly. These divorce tips will help you avoid such an outcome.



What to Do Before Getting a Divorce in North Carolina

Before you can get a divorce in North Carolina, you will need to have resided in the state for at least six months. Additionally, you will have to live separately from your estranged partner for at least one year. If you don’t meet said conditions, the state will not finalize your divorce. That is why you should be positively certain that you want to go through with the process.

These divorce tips are specific to the laws of North Carolina, but you will probably find them helpful no matter the state you live in. Separation is never a joke. Whether or not it leads to actual divorce, though, you will want to learn everything that you can about your relevant legal rights and obligations. Only then will you be able to feel good about yourself and your choices after the storm dies down.

Here are five divorce tips for North Carolina:

1. Try Talking to a Marriage Counselor

This is the big first step that many tend to skip. Trying to patch things up with your potential ex-spouse can be both awkward and unpleasant, yes. However, if there is a chance that you can save your marriage, you should, at the very least, try. It could lead to an altogether more pleasant future, as well as less financial strain.



Of course, you can only attempt the step if your spouse is willing to try it too. If they aren’t interested in staying married to you at all, then your marriage could, in fact, be unsalvageable. You may still be able to persuade them to try out divorce counseling, however. If anything, the two of you could learn what went wrong, how to deal with the new reality, as well as how to move on.



If you aren’t sure where to find a good counselor, you can browse the directory here. You will see plenty of professionals to choose from, from North Carolina, as well as other states. Alternatively, you can always reach out to your local community, friends, or family. Someone will probably be able to point you in the right direction.



2. Speak With a Lawyer as Soon as Possible

Before you so much as lift a finger about your potential divorce, you should talk to a lawyer. Even if you and your partner end up reconciling, you should still listen to what a lawyer has to say. There is likely a lot about the NC divorce process that you know nothing about. The attorney will give you solid divorce tips that you won’t be able to get elsewhere.



North Carolina has a complicated set of laws that may end up working against you if you don’t know what you’re doing. A single uninformed decision could cost you a lot down the line. It’s best that you take every step that you can to prevent such outcomes. And no one will be able to help you more in that regard than a lawyer.



3. Don’t Move Out of Your Marital Home Unless Your Lawyer Says So

Moving out without a good reason will almost never be a good decision. It may result in you having to pay alimony or even render you unable to collect alimony. Furthermore, if you move out, you’ll likely be unable to go back until the process runs its full course. That will often take longer than a year, so you should probably stay at home.

 

The most common exception to the above-mentioned piece of advice is a situation where your partner is violent. If you fear for your life while at home, you must do everything in your power to protect yourself and your children.



4. If You’ve Had an Affair, Your Lawyer Should Hear About It First

The vast majority of the time, you will want to be honest with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. If you’ve had an affair, however, no one should hear about it before your lawyer. Even if we ignore the fact that adultery is illegal in North Carolina, admitting it will work against you if you are facing a divorce. If your partner is an alimony candidate, your extramarital affair could end up costing you thousands of dollars.



To be clear, your spouse will not have to prove that you’ve had an affair in order to get alimony or post-separation support. However, the judge will take marital fault into account when making their final decision. If evidence of fault exists, the alimony may increase, decrease, or disappear altogether.



5. Protect Your Assets

Regardless of how much you trust (or have trusted) your partner, you will always want to protect your assets. Divorces tend to bring out the worst in people, and there’s no need for you to take any chances. You should always take possession of any items that you intend to keep using during separation, like your car and furniture.


Also, you should secure any assets that your spouse might end up selling. You should make sure that jewelry, gems, collector’s items, and the like, are where you want them to be. Remember, all is fair in love and war.



One of the better divorce tips out there is to file a Lis Pendens. You can do that in the Deeds Office of any county where you (or your spouse) own real estate. It is an option in any state, not just North Carolina. Properly served and recorded, a Lis Pendens will cloud the title to the property, meaning that no one will be able to sell it behind your back.


As another option, you can get an injunction that will prevent your partner from transferring ownership over the items listed under the injunction. The injunction will also stop your spouse from outright disposing of the items. Additionally, your lawyer can use the injunction to return your separate property to you if your partner keeps refusing to hand it over.



Here are some additional ways of protecting your property:



  • Freeze or close all of your joint cards and block your partner’s access to joint credit
  • Close all of your joint bank accounts and open an individual one
  • Change the name of the responsible party on your bills.



Conclusion

The ideal way of handling divorce would be to not have it happen in the first place. The world is not ideal, however, and you have to do what you have to do. If you play your hands right, though, the process won’t be nearly as unpleasant as it can sometimes get. We hope that these divorce tips will prove helpful in that regard.

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