Blog Post

The Smart Divorce Plan

Russell Family Law & Litigation • Mar 04, 2020

Smart Divorce Tips to Make Your Divorce Easier

Our clients often say that getting divorced turned out to be one of the greatest challenges they have ever faced. That’s no wonder — most divorces are financially and emotionally taxing even for the lucky couples that manage to part on good terms. Our round-up of smart divorce tips should help you make things a little easier for you and your loved ones.

However, bear in mind that no amount of online tips can replace timely professional advice. Russell Family Law & Litigation specialize in all divorce-related issues, from alimony and property division to child support and custody. Contact us today and get yourself the best divorce attorney Wilmington, NC, has to offer.

couple placing their wedding rings on a table with divorce papers

Educate Yourself

The very first thing you need to do — ideally, before filing for divorce — is to learn as much as you can about your legal rights and responsibilities under North Carolina law, as well as those of your spouse. If you have children, you also need to read up on custody and childcare divorce arrangements. That should help you make well-informed decisions and manage your expectations as you go forward.

Our website is a good starting point. Here, you can find a lot of useful and accessible information on various divorce law topics. However, make sure that you also get expert advice from a qualified legal professional.

Needs vs. Desires

Perhaps you’ve just filed the divorce papers. Maybe your divorce is nearly finalized, or you have only just begun considering a divorce. Whatever stage you find yourself at, you have a lot of decisions ahead of you.

To make the best decisions for yourself and your family, you need to know what it is that you want for the future. Before doing any of that, however, you must get very clear on the difference between your actual needs and your desires. The two do not necessarily overlap, and acting on your desires in the heat of the moment is generally not in your best interest.

For example, we find that many of our clients are tempted to use divorce to get back at their spouses. They may refuse to mediate or be flexible during negotiations. Worse, they may act and speak in a downright hostile manner. However, such behavior is never going to get you anything good.

Regardless of how much you may want some form of revenge, it is not what you need. Instead, what you really need is a functioning, if not amicable, relationship with your soon-to-be-ex. That is the best guarantee for a quick and relatively pain-free divorce and sets you up for success in future negations.

With this in mind, before making any big decision, make sure to pause and ask yourself, “Is this something that I need or just something that I want?” Make sure to be honest with yourself, too. Our practice over the years has shown that this is one of the best and most useful smart divorce tips.

Short vs. Long-Term Planning

The next thing you need to consider are your short- and long-term goals. These may not always be the same, even when they address the same underlying concern.

For instance, one of your main goals before, during, and after a divorce should be to maintain your mental wellbeing and emotional stability. Depending on your current position, however, how you go about achieving that goal could vary to a great extent. If it is still early days with tension running high, your priority might be to find a good therapist right away to help you cope with the high level of stress and anxiety.

In contrast, as things progress and you gradually start to feel calmer and more resilient, your focus might shift toward building new routines to support a healthy lifestyle and reduce stress in the long term. You may want to improve your work-life balance, find more time to spend with family and loved ones, or start working out regularly.

Therefore, it is important to always plan your next step with both your short- and long-term goals in mind.

Get Help

Divorce is hard, and no one can and should go through it alone. Make sure to get plenty of support from friends, family, as well as others who have gone through similar experiences. For more smart divorce tips, it may also be a good idea to read specialized books, websites, and other materials.

Most importantly, you need to always have dedicated professionals on your team, such as a therapist and a good lawyer. Luckily, we can help with the latter — call us today and get yourself the top divorce attorney Wilmington.

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